Tomorrow I will be 31 years old. Officially in my 30’s rather than this flirtation with just turned 30 that I’ve been claiming for the last 12 months. So how am I feeling about it? I thought I’d break it down…
At 31 my mind is in overdrive trying to keep up with multiple schedules, to do lists and basic needs (wait, has she eaten yet? when was her last bathroom break? did I call the repair man? did I buy his birthday present? did I upload those photos yet? why is the laundry full again already?). Whoever said a woman’s mind is like a browser with a million tabs open is so spot on, and oddly enough my computer often looks like that too.
For someone that prides themselves on time management, I often feel I’m not able to keep up with it all, but somehow I keep my head above water most days by the grace of God. Still, I never complete everything (does anybody??). I hate to use the word busy, but it’s a very busy phase of life. Couple that with the fact that I’m a very nostalgic person who doesn’t want to miss a moment and it’s enough to stress me out some days. I’m really working on picking a couple things that MUST get done and getting comfortable setting others aside to enjoy the hour at night with David, to sit and paint with Hailey or play airplane with Kaitlyn.
That being said, my mind also feels sharp and I am grateful for that. The stimulation I get from blogging and doing things on the side like the segments with WCCB suits me. I adore being a wife/mom and I love having my own thing going too. I also am thoroughly enjoying ‘playing grown up’ with David as we assess our life, goals, finances and future. It’s exciting.
Although I may appear to nitpick at it by measuring it, I am incredibly at peace with my body, more so now than ever before. It has grown and carried two babies and provided enough milk for both of them to thrive. It can carry a preschooler on one hip and a baby on the other. It feels strong and energetic most days, which is why I prioritize taking care of it.
I’m also starting to see small signs that tell me I’m not 18 anymore. Little wrinkles don’t disappear as quickly once I stop smiling, I see the difference in the skin on the back of my hand versus Hailey’s when we snuggle and it’s taking a little more effort to tone up my muscles than it used to. These things don’t concern me, but I do notice them and it reminds me that time is passing, to enjoy it and to take care of myself so I can have many years of feeling strong and healthy yet to come.
Oh, my soul. My soul is so, so joyful. I hate to spew happiness all over you this morning, but it’s all I have. I am married to a man I love that challenges me, supports me and is 100% in this life for the long haul with me. How I found someone so perfect for me, I will never know but I will always be grateful for. Together we have two beautiful girls that keep me on my toes but bring such joy and meaning to my life. I’ve found myself staring at them in pure awe of what a miracle life is.
Then there is our family. I feel so fortunate that David and I have parents, siblings and grandparents that are healthy, involved in our lives and mostly normal (juuuuust seeing if any of those family members are paying attention wink wink).
I have friends that are amazing. Old friends that I love and have gotten to watch our lives develop together and new friends that fill our weeks with laughter, play dates and support. I have you guys that bring such a strong sense of community to my life and I’m grateful to have this space to chat with you with everyday.
At 31 my life is more full than I ever imagined, yet still have a deep excitement of what lies ahead. I’m in no rush to get there and time can slowwww down as far as I’m concerned, but I’m pleasantly surprised how comfortable I am being ‘in’ my 30s despite often feeling like I’m still 22. It’s not always tied up in a pretty little bow, but man, I wouldn’t trade these 31 years of life for anything.
How old are you?
How old do you feel?
Do you think anyone ever feels like a grown up or is it something that just sneaks up on you?