Six months ago we started eating dinner together as a family. Here are the changes that happened once we implemented this new nightly routine!
A few months ago, maybe June-ish, we changed the way we did dinner in our house. Before this change, I would feed the girls dinner around 5:15/5:30 pm so they would have time to eat and bathe before bedtime at 7:00 pm. Once the girls were down, I’d finish up mine and David’s dinner and we would sit and eat together.
I didn’t intend for it to be separate, but with David’s full days and the girls at really young ages of 1 and 4, it worked best for our schedule. It didn’t mean I cooked two dinners per se, as the girls would usually either have our leftovers from the night before or I’d cook something that would be tasty at 5:00 pm and at 8:00 pm.
However, as the girls neared 5 and 2, I started feeling the need for a change. I’ve been pretty open that my girls don’t sit nice and quietly at the dinner table. I figured more a formal (term used loosely), sit down and eat experience would benefit them in terms of learning proper table etiquette. Honestly, that was my only motivation at the time, but now that we are 6+ months into this change, I’ve noticed several other shifts as well.
Baked Greek Shrimp with Feta, Roasted Broccoli, Ciabatta
The girls are eating a wider variety of foods.
I have two good eaters (Hailey who naturally was and Kaitlyn who took some coaching) but they were getting the short end of the stick with the way I was doing dinner. I wouldn’t always have leftover vegetables from the night before so I would default to whatever was easy- green beans and broccoli most often. Those are fantastic foods, but since we’ve been eating the exact same thing at the exact same time, they are experiencing much more- zucchini noodles, cauliflower rice, purple cabbage, and more.
Mahi Fish Tacos with Purple Cabbage Slaw
This also goes for proteins too. I’m buying larger quantities of fish, shrimp, pork, etc to ensure we have enough to feed the whole family without having to depend on Annie’s Mac ‘n Cheese as often to fill in the gaps. The proof is on the grocery receipt!
Crockpot Salsa Chicken with Avocado and Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Corn
[Tweet “Implementing a family dinner time: what changed for the better! #familydinner”]
Their table manners have improved.
I’m not even going to pretend my 2 year old will sit nicely for an entire meal. She definitely gets up and does a lap around the table every so often (I know, I should have a strap in booster, but I don’t). However, over all, things have improved. Hailey stays seated 95% of the time. Both girls are learning about the art of dinner conversation as well. At this age, round table questions work best, so we typically spend the meal going around the table and sharing 1) our favorite part of the day 2} one thing we are grateful for or 3) one way we helped another person today. Other times we play the “rather” game, which consists of me asking them to choose their favorite between two scenarios or things.
Mediterranean Salmon with Brown Rice and Roasted Brussels Sprouts
Hailey asks to be excused at the end of the meal most of the time now and both girls clear their plates to the counter by the sink. I can’t wait for the days they can wash the dishes as well!
Rotisserie Chicken Salads with Roasted Butternut Squash and Blueberries
Eating takes forever.
You can file this both under the pro and con section in my book. Pro: more time to talk. Con: I eat my meal in under 10 minutes (maybe that’s on me though!) then sit and referee, ahem, I mean enjoy the rest of the experience. I totally get this is just the age we are at. I actually love that sometimes Hailey gets so caught up in a story that a solid 7 minutes will pass between bites. However, if we are being honest here, it’s taken a lot of adjustment for me to get comfortable blocking out 45 minutes or so to just sit at the table (again, perhaps a good learning experience for me?).
Buffalo Chicken Salads with Blue Chips (deconstructed and without spicy Buffalo sauce for the kids)
They’ve expanded their abilities to entertain themselves.
Since I am cooking legit dinners now instead of reheating leftovers or cutting up and serving raw veggies, it takes some time. Generally I start cooking dinner around 4:45 or 5:00 pm. Though sometimes I’ll let them watch a show, my kids behave better overall without TV, so I avoid it when I can. So what do they do for the 45 minutes or so it takes me to make dinner? We rotate through lots of things! If the weather is nice, I tell them to go play. However with the shorter days and colder weather, inside activities usually rein supreme. Sometimes this means getting them involved in the kitchen, with either these kinds of tasks or letting them work on their knife skills.
Other times they play with our pasta bin, color, dance, build forts or do art. Last night Hailey painted a birdhouse while Kaitlyn built towers with Magnatiles (a household favorite). Sometimes they fuss and whine a bit too, but they are understanding more and more each day that it’s dinner prep time, so go pick an activity (or get sent to your room).
Mom’s Homemade Spaghetti Sauce over Wheat Pasta and Roasted Broccoli
I want to also be clear that I’m not here to shame anyone about doing family dinners. We didn’t do them on the regular for the first 4 1/2 years of Hailey’s life. I got multiple comments on how I was doing my kids a disservice but the truth is, no one’s life is picture perfect. Sometimes one (or both) parent works late or travels. Sometimes a parent works a late shift. Kids sometimes have activities that start at 6:00 pm. Life is messy and complicated, so love your kids, spend time with them and do what works for you.
Shrimp in a Garlic Butter Sauce over Zoodles with Spinach Swirl Bread
We are now in a phase that works well for family dinners for us. David joins us always on the weekends and when he can during the week. This is what is working right now for us and it is a trend I hope to continue.
How does dinnertime work at your house?
What challenges do you face with dinnertime?
What tips do you have that have made things easier on you?
Melissa says
This is a work in progress in our house. It is so nice when we are all home at dinner time, but as you said it’s a balancing act with little ones! What does you nightly routine look like now? Are you eating later?
Brittany Dixon says
Nightly routine *usually* looks like this: dinner with the girls (and David if he’s home) at 5:30 pm- bath at 6:20ish – jammies/brush teeth – books around 6:50/7:00 – in bed with doors closed by 7:15. But every day is a little different! Honestly things have been so busy around here lately that I’ve been switching it up some days by doing bath at 4:30 pm (haha!), then indoor play and dinner and bed by 6:30 pm- they’ve just been so worn out and Kaitlyn only naps about twice a week.
Jessica says
We are working on this. Most nights it’s the kids and I eating without Drew due to his work hours. I hate that, but I’m not going to make them wait until close to 7 to eat because then they are a mess. When he is home for dinner we eat together and it’s so nice. If only I could get the hubs to stay at the table until everyone is finished like the kids have to.
Brittany Dixon says
Ditto! David has crazy hours too (so do a lot of my friends’ husbands so I have a solid sounding board to chat about it with). When David is home we all eat together but occasionally his phone rings (which I hate, but I know comes with the territory of his job). We do the best we can with the schedule we have! So just know you aren’t alone 🙂
Heather @Lunging Through Life says
I’ve always grown up eating dinner together- sometimes we’d have to wait a little until my dad came home or sometimes he walked in the door right when we were sitting down. my husband, though, didn’t, and he totally missed it. Now, we eat dinner together unless one of us has something to do. I’m hoping we can keep this up because I think it’s really important for all those things listed above! I truly believe that’s why my 1 year old is eating all the foods we are- she sees us eating them! Sometimes she refuses something until we eat it off our plate and then she’ll taste it.
Brittany Dixon says
I love that you have those family memories of growing up! We did the same when I was a kid- complete with candles lit on the dining room table. Unfortunately David works an unpredictable and demanding job, but we are doing the best we can and he is usually home for dinner a couple times a week, which is nice!
I think it’s wonderful that family dinners are such a staple in your household and fully believe in the benefits it brings! Thanks for sharing <3
Erin says
My husband also has a demanding job where he travels a lot but I sit with the kids (7,5,3, and 20 mo) and have dinner every night. Some nights it’s hard for my younger two to want to stay in their seats but I have a pile of books at the table and I read books to them to keep their attention and that helps. Some nights I feel like I don’t even sit that long because somebody spilled something somebody needs more of something etc so I’m always up and down. We just all do the best we can!
Brittany Dixon says
Hats off to you Erin! I really admire you for making it work with 4 little ones. And you are right, even with only two I feel like I am up and down a lot getting napkins, a pink fork instead of a green one, etc 😉
Jenn says
Ditto! By the time I put their plates down and get mine, somebody wants more, or more drink or something! Then as soon as I get one kid more and sit down somebody else needs something! I need to be better prepared at making all the plates ans drinks before I put them on the table.
Lindsey says
We try to do this as often as we can–usually four times a week. My husband is in med school and sometimes his schedule throws things off. We did it almost every night of the week before we had a second baby (we also have a 4-year-old)–it was just our routine. But the new baby definitely caused a shift! These days, he’s sleep trained (praise!) and goes down pretty easily at 6 p.m., which leaves us a whole hour with our oldest to eat and do bath time. About once a week, though, we wait until she’s asleep because sometimes Mama just needs some peace and quiet.
Brittany Dixon says
I want to give you that little two hands up emoji for mama needs some peace and quiet! We put the girls down at 6:30 last night and David and I high fived each other and crashed on the couch, haha. Thanks so much for sharing and congrats on your (sleeptrained!) new addition <3
Elizabeth says
I grew up eating together and we do it now with the kids. Obviously if my husband has to work, we eat without him. I find the benefits are so grand like talking together and knowing that dinner time is family time. My son does the same of saying a story and talking forever lol. (We also eat at 7pm and then bed by 8-830)
Kate says
I loved this post. We’ve done family dinners since my son was 8 or 9 months and I’ve loved the experience – apart from the fact that it takes long. Our meals take closer to 30 min, which is a challenge in the morning, when I want to get him ready for daycare and me ready for work.
But overall, I wouldn’t change a thing!
I love the ideas of dinner conversations. At 23 months he’s just starting to talk about his day at daycare, but those questions seem like a good starting point to get the conversation going beyond what did you play today? 😉
Jennifer Umana says
We try to do a family dinner every night – but as you said our schedule is always all over the place. My husband and I both work but we are blessed that we get off early enough to be home together for dinner by 5. 🙂
Dinners do take awhile but they are a lot of fun and I really think they are meaningful and will be for the kids as they get older.
Once the kids are done they excuse themselves and my husband and I will usually stay at the table and chat about our days for atleast 15 minutes. Its nice just to catch up.
But to make it happen dinners are kept simple. I only have about 45 minutes to prepare before everyone starts getting hangry!! haha
Lindsay says
We just started sitting down as a family for dinner about 3 months ago (my kids are 8 and 1). My husband worked retail for the first 5 years of my daughters life, so most nights it was just me and her — I couldn’t see the point of sitting down! I am still working on making her eat what we eat…I’m still making both kiddos a separate meal most nights. But we also do Blue Apron and Home Chef a lot, and we have not expanded to the family plans, so there’s not really enough for the kids too. Honestly this post made me feel better. I had people saying the same thing about it being a “disservice” to my children; as you said, we as parents know what works for our family, and sometimes we change it up and it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Liz says
We eat dinner as a family pretty much every night. We have a 2 and a 3 year old. We started doing family dinners when our oldest was around 1, and thankfully it’s worked out. My husband used to work 7-4 (I stay home), but his schedule recently changed and now he’s typically not home until 5:30, so we usually eat around 6 now. That means the kids usually have a snack after naps and that will tide them over. Both kids sit well and usually eat well and have good manners, so I’m happy that we are able to sit and eat together most nights!
Taryn says
Great post! My kids are 5 and 3, and family dinners are something we really look forward to. I do agree it seems to take FOREVER for the kids to eat sometimes. And they have now started asking for “dessert” – generally a piece of fruit like an apple or orange. I love that the extra motivation of fruit after dinner helps them clean their plates. But I won’t pretend I don’t start getting frustrated with how long it takes. I have started cleaning up the dishes while they are eating their fruit which saves time a bit. And I love your dinnertime conversation tips!
Brittany Dixon says
Love the idea of fruit at the end of the meal and starting to clean up while they eat that. It’s so hard for me to not to start cleaning up mid-meal so that’s a great compromise!
Heather says
We eat together as a family pretty much every night. It’s just something that has always worked for us and something I enjoyed as a kid. Granted, even though we all eat together my kids rarely last that long at the table, but I figure at least they’re trying. They seem to enjoy it too and I love when my 4.5 year old strikes up the conversation first and asks how my day was. 😉
Kimberly says
I love this post! We recently started doing this same thing as a family, I do feel a little guilty that my husband eats dinner every night alone (he never makes it home before 7) but I have started having a cup of tea at the table with him while he is eating so it feels like we are eating together! My kids definitely eat better if I am eating with them rather than just telling them to eat.
Brittany Dixon says
I do the same! I make David a plate and sit (and often sip tea!) and chat while he eats. It works out pretty well 🙂
Heather says
Oh man this is so hard for me especially when the weather was nice. I had to choose whether to go for walk or play outside with my kid once we got home or go straight to making dinner. Obviously I picked spending time with my kiddo. I am hoping as she approaches 2 we can cook together, but right now we are going from one second of not interested in food to I’m starving. She usually gets leftovers during the week, but I make it a point to eat together on the weekend. I think planning meals is suuuuuper important in making this work and I know you are really good at that!
p.s. the strap does not always keep them in the booster – it actually makes it worse for us!
SHU says
Love this! I recently started to eat with the kids almost every night. Josh almost never gets home in time to join us (although last night he surprised us mid-meal!) but I am finding it better for a) quality time w/ the kids; b) the kids learning to sit and eat a nice meal better; c) I’m not STARVING and cranky waiting for him to come home, or eating 38742 snacks; d) it helps the nightly routine flow a little better. The downside is that I don’t usually get to have dinner w/ Josh unless it’s the weekend, but maybe that’s okay. I can still sit w/ him later and sip wine if need be 🙂 Also agree kids take FOREVER to eat and I am sooo fast. Maybe it will help me learn to slow down!!
Nina says
This post is so timely! I just finished the book “Bringing up Bebe” last night, and you hit on all of the amazing points of why eating together as a family is so important! Cheers!
Heather says
As long as I can remember I have had dinner at 6pm with my family and this is something that I started when Elizabeth started eating dinner with us. Some nights Steve has to work late so he can’t join us. Other nights we have stuff going on, but I try to plan the activities so we are home by about 6pm. Dinner is usually a little later those nights. I like to have a home cooked meal Monday thru Thursday and then it is up in the air the other 3 days. I do leftovers one night to help out and to accommodate for being late getting home after gymnastics I make a quick meal before we go, so I just have to heat it up or I have one of my frozen extra meals (spaghetti, chili, enchiladas) planned for that night, so it just has to be warmed up when we walk in the door. I don’t know if 6pm will always be doable, but I feel it gives us enough time for baths, stories and tucking into bed. The few minutes we sit down may not be the easiest with funny loud noises being yelled by the kids or pouting about what I have cooked, but it is nice to have those few minutes together.
Kat says
So glad to hear this change is positive for you! I’ve been super strict about family dinners since my daughter started eating solids (she just turned 2). Sometimes if my husband comes home later, I’ll start without him, but I do think it’s made a big difference in the variety of foods my daughter eats and her ability to use utensils, say please, thank you, etc. since we emulate these manners around her. My biggest challenge is remembering to exclude the spice since my husband and i love spicy food and our daughter just can’t handle it.
Jen says
We do dinner together every night with my mom (who lives with us) and sometimes my sister and niece come over b/c her husband travels a lot. So full house of at least 3-4 adults and 3 kiddos usually. I hope it’ll be nice memories for all, but I feel like I need a recorder to play back “sit down”, “take another bite”, “no you may not get up”, “stop touching them”, “EAT”. ha ha
Lauren says
We do dinner together every night, we always have and our son – now 3 – has been included since 6 mos or so.
Most of the time I’m home after my husband, he usually picks up our son and starts dinner at least 3x during the week.
I would opt out of a family dinner a few times a week, but it’s something he feels strongly about, and I understand. I think it is a great habit.
We end up eating around 6:30, then I do bath and he starts cleaning up. Our son is in bed between 8 and 8:30 and then we usually finish up cleaning and I pack lunches and prep something if I’m in the mood to.
We have the best conversations with our 3yo at the table, sometimes he will just go on and on about something he’s never even mentioned. It blows my mind! I also love the car for good conversation, I still have memories of driving with my mom, looking ahead and talking, something about being side by side instead of face to face maybe?
Ali says
Dinner – it’s funny because I think to myself that the changes over the years have been many but they really haven’t. We eat at about 6 each night. Sometimes a little earlY, ,sometimes a little later but mostly around 6 (tues wed fri and weekends). Monday and Thursday are crazy with our activities So sometimes those are crazy. I try to cook 2-3 meals per week and have leftovers for others. But we are approaching a time when a cooler dinner or going out might have to happen because of kids activities.
But hubs works late and travels so he’s home for dinner when he can be. If he’s going to cut it close we try to wait. Luckily the girls now being 8.5 & 5 they “get it” ‘most of the time. I grew up in a very similar situation with dad working and traveling a lot. But I still remember family dinners even though it wasn’t every night and my husband grew up with family dinner every night until late in his teens when his afterschoool job and sister’S dance classes got in the way.
We do round table talks about favorite part of the day and what we did at school -taking turns, not interrupting, giving details, showing homework/tests/projects …… it’s gettting fun in that respect.
I also get the girls involved in chores- helping prep or make dinner, setting the table, clearing spots and the table, closing the blinds, just busting around the kitchen table, or wiping down the table.
I love family dinner. Recently we do “family” dinners on sundays with my local parents. It probably ends up working out 1x a month but we love them and my girls do especially.
John J. says
A nice step for family togetherness and conversation. Good for you!
Leah says
Sounds like a great plan you have. My husband works late most nights. So I’ve always just eaten early with the kids during the week. Now my kids are 9 & 6 and we are on the go with sports 4 weeknights. I still eat with the kids but it might be more rushed due to schedule. Occasionally it’s a cooler bag dinner in the car on the way to practice. It’s not how I’d love to do dinners but I’m finding life sure gets busy as kids get older. We all eat together on the weekends.
Kimberly says
I love these kinds of posts so much. Silly question but can you tell me your method for roasting sweet potatoes? Thanks!!
Liz T says
Amen to it takes forrreeeeeevvvveeerrrrrr for Georgie, almost three, to finish eating. Right now Louisa,10 month old, is really over it after about 10-15 minutes, but Georgie could sit and take intermediate bites and chat and sing and giggle and eat more for an hour easily if we let her. Lately we’ve been bribbing her to hurry up to finish eating so she can take a bath with little sister, as Louisa is melting down while Georgina lingers. But if she is lingering too much, Hubby will take the baby to go ahead and do bath and I’ll turn her high chairs to face towards the open kitchen as I start cleaning up. Love your go play attitude – so are they at an age where they can play outside alone?
Brittany Dixon says
For short periods of time, yes I let them go outside alone. They like to play in the garage (ha), where I can always hear them. If they are in the back, I’m usually peeking out at them every 2 minutes, but yes, they do go play alone! I’m fortunate that Hailey is a rule follower by nature and acts like a second mom to Kaitlyn 😉
Liz T says
That super. I was talking with another mom friend, who has a 6 yr old boy, and she was telling me a story and mentioned how he was outside playing for a few hours before dinner. At this stage to me that seems so foreign and luxurious. I can’t wait ^_^!
Sarah says
We eat family dinners with our 2 and 4 year old boys. It does take FOREVER to eat dinner. My little eats anything in sight, and I have to beg and bribe my 4 year old to just take a bite! haha It’s great to be together though since we both work long days away from the kiddos! Can you tell me what knives you would recommend for littles to learn knife skills and helping in the kitchen? Thanks!!
Brittany Dixon says
Check out Curious Chef knives- we have three and love them!