My little cinnamon roll is curled up next to me snoozing for her morning nap right now. We had another good night! Bed at 9:30, up and out at 12:00, right back to the crate with no whining, a small whine about 2 hours later, then up for the day at 5:45. I’ll take it. Plus, both David and I got to sleep on the bed instead of the floor beside the crate, ha!
This week has been a whirlwind. I had planned to share some clothing wins I’ve had lately for all of us (family pictures this weekend), do a review of First Language Lessons, and tell you about the BIG deal at Joy Organics. All their CBD tinctures are buy one, get one free with the code BRITTBOGO. It’s for today and tomorrow ONLY but it you are a tincture gal, this is the best deal you’ll find on them this year.
I’ve been using mint, but just got the orange bliss. For more on why I only use this company and the differences between tinctures, gummies, and soft gels, check out this post.
But clothes and curriculum and such will have to wait until next week when we’ve gotten our feet back under us around here. Dare I say I’m starting to see a rhythm to our days surface? And even if it’s not, the joy Finley is bringing to us, especially the girls, right now is incredible.
So on that note… I cried at the vet yesterday.
First, a little background. Long time readers will remember our first dog, a vizsla named Koda. Sweet as can be, a peanut butter lover through and through, and generally the world’s best dog. David and I got her when we were newly engaged. We loved adventuring with her and she was SO good when we had our babies. She was patient and loving.
When she was 7 years old she was diagnosed with canine lymphoma, which was truly traumatic for me. Through the help of modern medicine, we were able to give her another incredible year of life before ultimately having to say goodbye in 2016.
It’s been 5 years since we last scratched her sweet head, so bringing in a new puppy felt exhilarating but also made me a little anxious. I’m a caretaker by nature, and was plagued for a little while with “what could we have done differently do stop her from getting canine lymphoma?” questions.
When seeking out Finley, we found a breeder that is very passionate about natural rearing for a variety of reasons, one being that vizslas can be particularly sensitive to toxins and chemicals. Over the past 6 weeks we’ve educated ourselves on the topic and felt pretty good about this way to raise a dog that was different than we raised Koda.
When we brought Finley home, I knew I wanted to establish a relationship with a vet, so after asking around, a local integrative practice came highly recommended. I told the receptionist, who was super sweet, on the phone about the guidelines from our breeder and if their practitioners would be open to a conversation to help educate me about all the choices and listen to my concerns. She said they absolutely were and that they were passionate about holistic care, so I was excited to come in, have Finley checked out, and chat with a professional.
Well, within 5 minutes of chatting with the vet, I began to feel very overwhelmed. It did not feel like a conversation; it felt very dismissive of a natural perspective. I shared that I was trying to learn all I could to create the best plan of care I could, especially after having experienced canine lymphoma with our previous vizsla.
The vet told me that it could have been caused by exposure to too many chemicals and with the next breath recommended a traditional path of care. I felt overwhelmed by the passion of conflicting convictions between the breeder and the veterinarian, and then Kaitlyn looked and me and said “mom, why is you face so red?”… then the tears came. I was so embarrassed.
At this, the vet softened her demeanor substantially and was more willing to answer my questions, but I was fully overwhelmed. We politely finished the conversation, was sent home with information to review, and was kindly extended the offer to call for any questions I had that came up.
I have zero doubt that everyone wants what is best for Finley; there are just varying perspectives on how to do so. David and I went on a long walk to talk it out and I felt so much better afterwards. There really isn’t a right or wrong way, we just have to pick a path that makes the most sense for us and move forward.
I feel a little vulnerable for sharing this to be honest because I know some people are going to think it sounds ridiculous. However, I am really proud of the work I put into taking care of my family; it feels like what I was put on this earth to do. So feeling confident in how we choose to care for Finley is important to me.
I know we’ll figure it out and I have no doubt the excitement, stress, and sleep deprivation of this week played a factor in my emotional response as well. Just seeing how the kids have so quickly fallen in love with her, I want to do things to the best of my ability.
And… scene. End of my drama; thank you for listening 😋 Today is about putting the house back together, getting food in the fridge, and maybe even decorating for Christmas. I already feel better after a better night’s sleep and know a weekend at home with time to choose our care plan will have me feeling more chill in no time.
I want to ask if any of you pet lovers can relate… but I also don’t want to feel like the only crazy one, so instead I’ll just wish you a happy weekend! Hope you have some fun and get some rest that looks this restful…
Kelli says
Man that is the worst. I had some similar experiences trying to find a pediatrician when I was pregnant with Camryn. It was frustrating that finding a doctor who would trust what I want for my child is the right thing. Sounds like a similar situation with the vet. It’s hard finding holistic minded people. Good luck and I hope you guys can find a good fit!
Brittany Dixon says
It felt very similar to my first pediatrician visit when H was born, too! I just wanted to have a conversation and ask questions, but it seems some are not very open to it.
Brooke says
I too cried at a vet appointment with our sweet spinone Olive. The vet made me feel small and silly for really wanting to dive deep into her care rather than just do exactly what he said. In the end we found a new vet that suited us much better. Good luck! The puppy days are a blur but as you know so very worth it.
Brittany Dixon says
I’m so glad you found a great vet that aligns with your values; gives me hope I can do the same! <3
Becki McMahon says
I never comment but I have to here because I TOTALLY relate. Losing your first dog, especially when you have them before you have human babies, changes you. Add that to feeling the responsibility to protect your human babies’ hearts from that same pain for as long as you can is no joke. At the end of the day, our families, human and fur, are our life’s work and you have no reason to be embarrassed. Just my two cents❤️
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much, Becki! I left feeling embarrassed and a little crazy and sharing has made me feel so much better and less alone <3
Emily Ward says
I have broken down at the vet several times. It can be very hard to find one that matches with your philosophy and I find that they’re either really dismissive or amazing. Advocating for your pet isn’t crazy. Our job is to give them the best life we can! ❤️
Brittany Dixon says
Makes me feel so much better that I’m not alone! Thank you for the encouragement <3
Carrie says
You are not alone! It may sound crazy to those who do not own dogs, but dogs are truly part of your family. You want to provide the best care you possibly can to give them great lives – just as you would your kids! Navigating life with a puppy can be tough – but SO rewarding as you know! Keep pouring your love into your family and kids – human and furry. You’re doing a great job!
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much for that encouragement! <3 We have only had her for a couple days but she already is such a part of the family!
Nadine says
This vet was not your people. It’s OK to go find one that fits better. I used to take my dogs to a vet that was “excellent” but not right for us. In an emergency situation, they left us hanging and it forced me to find the care we deserved. We’re very, very happy now! Also, the previous vet made me feel like the lowest person on earth for taking our sick chicken in for help–she blamed me for whatever was wrong with it, even tho I did the very best I could for this bird. I ended up crying at the vet because of this situation. About a chicken. There’s no shame in our game, and we’re not crazy! 🙂
Jess M says
Crazy dog lovers unite! I boarded my dogs for the first time (usually use a dog sitter) and have called everyday.
It’s so incredibly important to find a vet that aligns with your interest. We love ours and are so thankful and grateful.
Good luck and trust yourself!
Lynn Thow says
I totally understand your emotions. I can’t imagine losing a sweet fur baby to cancer, so I understand your strong desire to learn and make the very best and informed decisions about Finley. We have to be our pets best advocate just like with our children. Finley is blessed to have you and the rest of the family to care for her.
anna says
Hi Brittany,
I am a long-time reader and a veterinarian. I have three cats and they are my babies so I understand how you feel about your pets. I will tell you that it is ofter frustrating for us vets, who went through 10 years of intensive education to get where we are, to receive “recommendations” from breeders. We choose the field because we love animals. Why else would be take on student loans over $200,000 that we will be paying off until we die?
Breeders do not have a lot of research-based knowledge and a lot of the things that they recommend are not based on science. I have had many dogs and cat get diseased because the breeder advised against a certain vaccine or preventative medication. I can tell you that what most vets recommend is based on science and the health and happiness of your pet (and your satisfaction).
Another thing to consider is that there is a crisis right now in our field. Many veterinarians are leaving the field, many commit suicide, and most suffer from mental health issues. The pandemic has brought on an unprecedented level of stress into our field. We are overworked and booked out for weeks. I personally work 12 hour shifts without a break and still have clients tell us that if we really cared about animals, we would do more, not charge for services, or squeeze them in. There is actually a movements called Not One More Vet, which addresses the issue of suicide in the field.
Please keep in mind that your veterinarian’s knowledge took a ton of education and a lot of practice. In addition, know that we do what we do to help animals and not “for the commission” as I recently saw in a breeder contract.
Anna says
The notion that you removed my comment made me lose respect for you. By behaving this way, you are one of the clients who is contributing to the struggles that the veterinary field is facing right now. As you know, when your pet is ill, you will need a vet who practices Western medicine to help them in an emergency situation.
Brittany Dixon says
I didn’t remove your comment; if it’s a first time comment, it has to be manually approved, so I just approved it through my phone.
I am very grateful for the expertise of professionals. An amazing veterinarian helped give our sweet Koda an extra year of life through chemotherapy and I will be forever grateful to her for that. I did not want to question the expertise of the vet I saw. Quite the opposite; I went in with open ears wanting to learn everything I could from her and hear her perspective on some of the NR practices I had learned about (and that their receptionist told me they were on board with as an integrative practice).
I just think perhaps it wasn’t a great fit for me, and I was probably not a great fit of a client for her. I have no ill will; I just am a new dog mom wanting to learn as much as I can and do the best I can for my dog.
Gcroft says
Big hugs Brittany. I have been following your blog for more than 9 years now and remember your posts about sweet Koda well. Looking forward to reading about Finley’s journey as the new addition to your family. Btw, I live next door to a sweet vizsla named Riley 😊
Brittany Dixon says
Aw!! Tell your neighbor pup I love her name 😉
Kristen says
I totally understand! We lost our precious chihuahua Bonnie a year ago to congestive heart failure when she was 12. We’re not ready for another yet, but I have the same worries about when we do.
Brittany Dixon says
Big hug to you; saying goodbye to a beloved pet (family member) is so hard! It took us a long while to feel ready again, too. <3
Sherry says
Just like there are good doctors that may not be a fit for you, there are good vets that may not be a good fit for you and Finley. You are an amazing mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. Listen to your heart and you will be where you need to be.