I’m not sure how to start writing this, but here goes.
I mentioned the other day that we were waiting for some test results back for Koda. Perhaps it was naivety or my perception of the vet’s lack of concern, but I wasn’t expecting much to come from the biopsy of two swollen areas on Koda’s neck that the vet aspirated on Tuesday afternoon.
All was normal Wednesday until the early afternoon. I noticed Koda moving more slowly. I tried to give her a treat of grilled chicken and she sniffed it, tried to lick it, then went and laid down. Immediately I knew something was wrong. I woke up the girls from nap, packed us all up in the car and drove to the vet.
Poor Koda was shaking from nerves by the time they got us back to the room. As the vet walked in, holding papers in her hand, she said “we just got the labs back and it’s lymphoma.” Cancer.
Tears.
Shaking.
Frantically calling David.
David fortunately was able to get there within 30 minutes. We asked everything we could think of and ended up with two options- prednisone, a steroid that would make her feel better, or we could go see an oncologist, but we were told not to give prednisone if we were going to the specialist because it could interfere with the staging of the cancer.
We found the oncologist could see us Friday morning, so we opted for that and all headed for home in tears. It was so difficult getting the girls fed, bathed and in bed. We kept staring and holding Koda and she was seeming to go down hill quickly. She wouldn’t eat or drink water. That night we put her in our bed, held her and cried. Honestly, I didn’t think she’d make it through the night and my heart couldn’t wrap around the idea that this all was happening so fast. Neither David nor I slept that night. We stroked her soft fur and I kept thinking every labored breath would be her last. It was pure torture.
Thursday morning she wouldn’t get out of bed, though her eyes darted around in a lively manor. Prednisone. We just wanted her to feel better. David was at the vet before it opened, and we got a pill in her before 8:00am. That morning I was a wreck. I put Hailey in front of the TV and just lay next to Koda. I’ll admit I was in a very dark, hopeless place filled with anger, guilt and sorrow.
My friend Alise showed up unannounced with lunch around 11am and I feel like I basically collapsed into her. But what I noticed was that Koda had gotten up and followed me. She moved slowly, but went over to her food, ate slowly, but ate it all. She drank some water before laying back down. For the first time in 24 hours, I felt a spark of hope.
We called the oncologist to see if there was anyway they’d still see her even though she’d taken a prednisone. To our surprise, after the way our vet described it, they said of course they would at that a few days of prednisone wouldn’t mess up a thing. I was overjoyed.
By Thursday night Koda was feeling much better. She got her second prednisone and took her usual stance under Kaitlyn’s chair, ready to perform clean up duty.
Friday morning, David, Koda, Kaitlyn and I loaded up and headed to Carolina Vet Specialists in Matthews. My dear friend Alison took Hailey for me all day, and I’m so grateful to have friends that are like family nearby.
Our appointment was at 11:00 and by this time, Koda was Koda again. We saw Dr. Parfitt and I can’t say enough wonderful things about her and our nurse.
We combed through every detail of Koda’s story, then went over our options.
Lymphoma is not curable. That we had accepted. However, we found out that it is often treatable, and with certain treatments we could hope to give Koda 6-18 months of high quality, happy-go-lucky life. The doctor seemed hopeful that Koda was a good candidate for treatment.
Without a question in our minds, we decided to move forward.
Koda got her first treatment yesterday. It was relatively quick and not hard on Koda in the least. We were on our way back home by 3:00.
Koda will continue to get treatments once a week for a while, and we will know within a few weeks how she is taking to them.
As I’m filling friends and family in on this, I’m getting a lot of sympathetic looks. That is understandable, as we were in a place of complete devastation only a couple days ago. But now, now we are in a positive place. We see this as a gift, a second chance to enjoy the world’s most amazing, loyal companion for a little longer and have her feeling SO good during it. We would not selfishly put Koda through anything that would cause her pain, and I can attest that Koda is already feeling better than she has in a long time. Her energy is up, her breathing is normal and she’s being goofy, happy Koda.
So instead of dwelling on what’s to come, we are focusing on peanut butter, belly rubs, planning camping trips, beach trips and family pictures. We plan on spoiling the heck out our sweet Koda-bug for as long as we can, which has a real chance of being a while longer.
So, yes, while there is a deep ache of sadness in me, it is outweighed by the joy of this extra time.
Thank you for caring about our sweet pup and please forgive me, as I am incredibly behind on all emails, messages, blog comments, everything right now, but I know you understand.
Haley says
Oh Brittany, I’m so sorry! No one knows the feeling like another dog owner. Enjoy all your time with Koda…and all the extra loving you get to give her. She’ll still always be your first baby 🙂
Love and hugs to all <3
Nicole G says
I am so sorry to hear about sweet Koda-she is an awesome girl. I am glad to hear she is comfortable and enjoying her time with her family. God bless-sending prayers and love.
Katie says
I’m so sorry to hear about Kodas diagnosis but glad you’ve found a way to give her a great quality of life! I totally understand- our lab, Paisley is most definitely our first baby ( she even has a fake hip we got her pre- kids 😉 ) and we will be a mess when her time comes. I’ll say a prayer for sweet Koda!
John J. says
Thanks for sharing this, Brittany. You and David have been heroic in your efforts to comfort Koda and maximize her life. You truly have your priorities in order and make the necessary sacrifices based on your love and splendid values.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
All my love! So hard to go through 🙁 Just cherish every precious moment!
Michelle @ Fit. Flexible. Fabulous. says
“We see this as a gift, a second chance to enjoy the world’s most amazing, loyal companion for a little longer and have her feeling SO good during it.” What a wonderful point to make. Your outlook is certainly admirable.
Hugs for Koda <3
Sandra says
Sending tons of love your way. Koda is SO GORGEOUS in the picture you posted – what a doll. Enjoy every minute!
Karlee says
So sorry to hear about your pup. They are truly family! We just lost our family dog to cancer.
Ashley says
Oh, Britt. I’m so sorry.
Jenny says
What an incredible gift! For so many, it seems that things progress so quickly with their pets and they’re barely given a chance to ingest it all and say goodbye. So I’m glad you’ve been given the gift of time and you’re taking it to focus on the positive.
There’s no question that pets play an important, irreplaceable role in our families, and I’m glad you get to embrace this time with yours.
Clara says
I am so so so sorry to hear that!!!! Thinking of you all!!!!!
Ashley says
So sorry to hear about Koda. Glad you have some time….as time is such a remarkable gift.
What a week of highs and lows with the excitement of your book and the sadness of Kodas news.
Jess Mathias says
Oh Brit. I am so incredibly sorry. We love our fur babies so much and it’s so hard to say goodbye or see them in pain. I’ve been where you are and while it’s not easy- do what you are doing and focus on the positive and give Koda the best. As hard as it is, you will know when it’s time. Prayers for you.
Tara says
I’m so sorry to hear the news about Koda! Your family is in my thoughts for a painless treatment and recovery of Koda.
Brynn says
Sending your family so much love.
Kristy Burgess says
This breaks my heart; but you are doing the BEST possible thing for Koda. She is very lucky to have such wonderful companions. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. xoxo
Alex @ get big, go to work says
I am sorry to hear Koda is so sick, but it sounds as if you and David have some wonderful plans in the coming year to enjoy the time together! Sending love and thoughts to you and your family.
Miki says
So sorry to hear this news. I’m glad you were able to find a specialist and have many more wonderful memories with her. Please keep us updated.
Judy says
We are, and have only been, Vizsla owners. Treasure the time you have with her. Also, the prednisone makes them crazy hungry, so don’t leave any food unattended!
Bets says
I’m so sorry. I know when my dog was sick it was devastating. I hope her treatment continues to go well.
Erica says
We went through the same thing with our dog a couple years ago. Just over a weekend his lymph nodes swelled and it was hard for him to eat and drink. We also chose to treat him with prednisone and chemo for 6-8 months until we noticed him not feeling well again, and decided it was time. The extra time with him was such a gift. Sending you guys all big hugs, and an extra big hug for that sweet pup <3
Cynthia says
Oh I am so sorry about Koda! But you are right, this extra time is such a gift. My parents had to put my dog to sleep while I was in college because there was nothing else that could be done and I was devastated that I didn’t get to say goodbye. I am glad that she will be feeling good during the time she has left. I am sure you will enjoy every precious minute.
Heather says
Sending you lots of love and light (and Koda too). Pets are so very special, and I’m glad that Koda is taking to the treatments well. How wonderful that you are being gifted the extra time, though!
Lauren Brennan says
Tears streaming down my face…. I’m so sorry! Please keep us updated!
Gcroft says
Big hugs Brittany. xx
Jessica @Myhealthypassion.com says
Tears. Legitimate tears. Dogs are family. They are your best friends, the most loyal friends. Big hugs to your family and especially KODA! Lots of peanut butter and belly rubs will make any dog feel better!! (Henry) my beagle, sends his love! <3
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma) says
I’m SO sorry, Brittany. This post made me cry as I can’t handle any bad news about dogs (I’ve been through it too many times w/ my pets), even if I’ve never met them. Koda is such a good girl and I love seeing the pictures of her with your girls. I hope her treatment goes well and gives her much relief. Thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts your way.
Amanda says
I’m sorry to hear the roller coaster your family has been on the past few days! I’m so glad to hear that Koda is feeling better and she’ll have her loving family spoiling her rotten! It’s not many families who know how much time they have left with their pets which leaves people wishing they walked or snuggled them a little more! I love hearing how you’ll be taking advantage of every moment together. Sending love your way!!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
I am sending so much love your way!! You are such a good family to treat Koda so well! I got my first pet in high school so I haven’t lost one yet and the thought terrifies me. 🙁
Shari says
Oh, I am so very sorry! Pets become such a part of our hearts and homes … the thought of losing them is just horrific. I’m glad you were able to find something that will help her, and that she’ll get to spend the days ahead – just like the ones in the past – in a family with such love. Sending hugs your way!
Danica @ It's Progression says
Oh Brittany, I’m so sorry your family is going through this 🙁 Poor Koda…I’m glad to hear that she’s being helped though and that she’s already showing many signs of feeling better. Our dogs are just as much a part of the family as anyone else so I can imagine your sadness and worry, especially before you were able to see the oncologist. I’m so glad you’ll be able to enjoy (to the fullest!) being with Koda for quite a while longer.
Julie says
I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending tons of love and best wishes to your family! You are heroes to Koda!
kaitlyn @ Keeping up with Kaitlyn says
Oh Sweet Friend, I was in tears while sitting in my car at the Trader Joes earlier today. So thankful your family has this extra time to love on Koda. What a blessing. Prayers to you all.
Jenny Pittsburgh says
Oh wow…I’m so so sorry. I’m happy to hear that Koda is feeling a bit better. Hugs to you and your family!
Nik says
I’m so so sorry. I actually cried a little reading this as I can feel your love for Koda in your writing. Furry family members are so incredible and I’m so happy that she is feeling better and you have longer with sweet Koda. My prayers are with you guys!
Jerri Lynn says
I feel for you so much. Our 9 year old Boxer has been through Thyroid cancer and at her old age I try to enjoy every day with her. She is our kid’s best friend and was a loving companion for my husband and I when it was just the two of us. Cherish the moments and share a few hamburgers with her!
Hannah @CleanEatingVeggieGirl says
I am so, SO sorry to hear this Brittany. Dogs are people and members of our family, so that must be so rough. I will be praying for you all!
Bonnie Esterow says
Having a dog is truly a gift. I have had to put 3 of my 5 dogs to sleep. 2 Goldens for cancer & the last one was a feisty little rescue. She was 14 yrs old deaf & senile. It was her time. You & David will know when it’s time…. Koda will tell you. Enjoy your time w her. She is very lucky to have had such a great family.
Liv @ Healthy Liv says
I’m glad to hear that Koda’s condition is treatable and that you’ll be able to savor lots of moments with her, shower her with love, and soak up as much time as you can.
I so wish it was curable and I teared up just reading this and thinking about my own sweet pup. Prayers for you and your family!
Chantal says
I’m so sorry to hear 🙁 Heartbreaking!
Jennifer says
I am quite certain the way you feel about Koda is the same way I feel about my sweet Chloe. I can feel it in your writing. Which is why I’m crying big ugly tears right as I finished reading this! I am so sorry about her diagnosis, but I am so glad that there is a treatment for her to live as happy as she can! Hugs to you mama and hoping Koda continues to take her treatments very well.
Al says
Perfect. Post.
So, when is the next playdate for Koda & Bunker? Let’s see how many walls, hikes and play dates we can accumulate in 18 months!?!?
PS – when are you camping? We. Want. In. (Seriously.)
Lauren says
I am so sorry to hear about Koda :(. I follow your blog and I know how much of a part of the family she is. We just went through this with our cat too and while the outcome wasn’t what we wanted (we lost him 3 weeks after discovering his cancer) I know that there are lots of great stories out there of animals getting a lot of extra time and it sounds like that’s promising for you. If it helps, we tried holistic options with our cat and we felt they dramatically helped his quality of life towards the end. If they don’t interfere with the oncologist, there are a lot of people reporting success with lymphoma in animals through holistic options. (we didn’t know what type of cancer our cat had but we were told it was probably carcinoma)
Caitlin says
Sending you lots of love and prayers during this time…
Katie H says
I’m so sorry to hear this Brittany. I’m glad that you get the extra time with her!
Monica says
Oh, my goodness… I’m so sorry that Koda is sick. I’m so happy that the vet feels she can have some more quality time with treatments! I really hope they work for her as long as possible.
I completely understand how hard this is. Dogs are family. Our first, Maggie, died in my arms on the way to the vet. Hardest night of my life.
Chelsea says
Oh I am so sorry to hear this! I am currently going through the same thing with my golden retriever (different cancer, but cancer all the same). She went for a routine surgery to get a cyst drained, and they decided to check on another cyst that had grown (the vet assured us it would be nothing), and it came back from the lab as cancer. She is also going to start weekly treatments in hopes to give her a bit longer with us. It’s the hardest thing to go through, as dogs are such a big part of the family. Non-dog owners don’t quite understand, but dogs are 100% members of the family, and it is so heartbreaking to watch them go through things like this. Sending hugs and good vibes to you, Koda, and the family!
Lynne says
Hello Brittany,
I have only commented a few times on your blog but I enjoy reading the updates of your lovely family. I wanted to say that I have gone through lymphoma twice now with two different dogs and perhaps can lend some insight for you. If you are interested, please email me. All the best wishes for Koda!