I saw a Tiktok video the other day and wished I had saved it. At the time it touched me, but I scrolled on and then it was lost in oblivion. However, since then I’ve kept thinking about it and repeating what I could remember to myself. It’s grown in it’s impact.
I shared with you my struggle over the past few months about feeling time whipping by and watching my kids growing so fast. It creates such an ache. I’ve questioned if we should have more kids (we aren’t) or if this fleeting phase of motherhood is just a natural part of life and to lean into the ache.
This message reframed my thinking and will be something I hold onto. I wish I had it verbatim, but allow me to improvise with the hope of conveying to you the sense of peace it brought to me.
They say we only have 18 summers with our kids.
They say we’ll blink and we’ll miss it.
But let me offer another perspective.
How about we tell people…
If you do it well, if you love them hard and prioritize connection, if you show up when they need you, it is not just 18 summers.
What if I told you that these early years, when you are both young, are creating the basis for a lifetime of love. And that you have the ability to create that.
Right now you are forming the foundation of a love story that will go on.
If you do it well.
That doesn’t mean doing it perfectly, but doing it well, with intention and love.
This might look a little differently to everyone, but creating loving boundaries and guidance, being a safe place, supporting and encouraging, will create an unbreakable bond.
Motherhood isn’t limited to the early years. Motherhood continues until you take your last breath, and your impact will continue on even after that.
So, you have more time. You do. You have so much more time.
And what you’re doing right now, although it might feel fleeting, is building a really solid foundation for all the wonderful years to come.
Sarah says
I love that! Thanks for sharing!
Elizabeth says
Love this. I have one heading to college in August-Auburn-ouch for your Bulldog heart. Lol. Anyway, everyone says, “Aren’t you so sad?” And while, of course, I will miss her so much, I’m excited for her. I’ve done my work to prepare her for this and she is ready and I’ll always be a text, phone call or quick trip away. Every stage is wonderful. Embrace them all.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh my goodness, congrats!! Auburn is such a great school (though don’t get me wrong, I’ll be cheering hard against them come 9/30 😉
Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement; I agree with you- every stage is wonderful! 💜
Hannah says
I could not relate more. I still have very young kiddos (ages 1 and 2) but I hate the 18 summers narrative. I honestly feel like I need my mom more now than I ever have 😆 You are absolutely right. You are building a foundation for a lifetime. Even if they’re not under your roof, they will lean on and need (and appreciate!) you more than ever before!!
Brittany Dixon says
Oh you’re in a busy phase for sure! Soak up one baby snuggle for me please 🥰
And I love that you mentioned your need for your mom, now, as I feel like I’m closer with my mom than ever and that is definitely something to be cherished. A lifetime of love! Thanks for your comment 🙂
Dawn Jackson says
I love this so much !
Monica says
This brought tears to my eyes! Very well put. I love it!
Joanna says
Thank you for sharing, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you also for mentioning in other posts how much you enjoy the girls older and being in another season. Our boys (5 & 8) are still young but growing out of certain things and it’s always made me a little sad. I’m definitely sharing this post to other mommas worried about the 18 summers!
amy says
Such a great perspective and it reminds me of an thought provoking and great book I just read called Habits of the Household (you already embody so many of his recommendations but I think you’d love it) https://www.habitsofthehousehold.com
Kelli Harrison says
I can totally relate ! My daughter went to college last year (Nashville and we are in Pa!) it was so eye opening and my son goes next year! We homeschooled so I spent every day with them . I have a friend who told me that I just need to embrace this as a different season and to get to know my husband again ! Thanks for sharing this reminder !
Lisa says
I love this and the reminder to do it well, as often I can think at the end of the day I didn’t do enough, but really I have!
Lisa
http://www.lovefromlisa.com
Leah says
This is beautiful written and I feel it so much 💗 With a high schooler and middle schooler, I feel time flying by. But trying to enjoy every season. I am super close with my family and hope the relationship I’ve developed with my kids continues throughout all the stages of life.
Liz says
This resonated with me so much. As someone who does not have a good relationship with my own mother, I want so badly to build the foundation with my kids to continue a supportive and loving connection as they grow up. It’s one of the main reasons I still choose to be a stay at home mom even though they are both school aged now and go to public school. I see them growing and especially see my tween daughter changing and maturing and I know we might be in for some years where we aren’t as close. I’m trying to really embrace this time with them now where they are in that “sweet spot” age, and be as present as I can be with them.
Jaime says
Beautiful! Just Beautiful! I’ve missed your presence on here the last several weeks, and your cooking inspiration! But I also know that you need to do what is best for you and your family! Thanks for sharing your life and thoughts with us, and know you are not alone. 💗