I don’t know about you, but I slept horribly last night. It’s not that I went to bed particularly scared or worried for my own safety in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, but just feeling disturbed in general.
My nightmares weren’t about bombs. In one, I was being chased down and in another I was one week away from graduation and realized I never attended my second period English lit class. Overall it just showed me how unsettled I am.
When tragedies like this happen, I can’t help but wonder if the world has always been this crazy or if it is getting worse. Or is it that now that I’m an adult, I’m not longer sheltered from the evil.
I also wonder why I choose to write a post like this. There isn’t much direction to it. I’m sure there will be many Boston posts today, as their should be, and many will be better written than mine. I don’t have anything especially insightful or poignant to say; I’m more of a jumbled mess of emotions. I am angry at the coward who is behind the bombings. I’m incredibly saddened for the victims. I’m frustrated for the runners that put so many hours of their lives into training, only to have their moment striped away from them by senseless tragedy. I’m inspired by seeing people run towards the victims and doing everything they can to help. I’m feeling fiercely protective over my family.
And I’m a little scared. How can you not be? Sometimes it doesn’t feel safe to go anywhere anymore. But that’s what the cowards want. Their intent isn’t mass causalities; it’s mass hysteria. They want to scare us into hiding in our homes and making us cease to live our lives. Knowing that that’s how they win, I refuse to do it.
So I’ll go out and live today like any other. No, actually, I’ll live it better, with more love, patience and kindness.
And when Friday comes, I’ll still board my flight to Boston as planned. I won’t be scared to visit my friend and see, for the first time, the city that so many people speak so highly about. I refuse to let fear dictate my life. I refuse to let the coward win.
Thanks for letting me sort through my thoughts today.
Colleen C says
Come and enjoy our beautiful city! Thank you for not letting them win! If you need any Boston suggestions let me know!!
Brittany says
We are a beautiful city. Come enjoy it. Born and raised Boston girl right here. This is a horrible thing but we will get back to normal. Though the marathon will never be the same again. If you need any suggestions about things to do, please ask.
Jen says
I’m asking myself those same questions. I absolutely love Boston and know you’ll have an awesome time this weekend! <3
Liz @ iheartvegetables says
It’s such an awful tradgedy, but all you can do is be thankful for your safety, and try to support those that need you! It is so sad, but we have to keep going!
christina says
Despite you not knowing why you wrote this or feeling like you didn’t have a direction, I’m still amazed by your post. You said it all perfectly. It’s so hard to not let these terrible people affect us, not let them instill fear in us, not let them win, but in the end, we must persevere. We are so blessed to not have been affected first hand and have to remember to live each day to the fullest, as cliche as that sounds. My heart breaks for those affected and I wish there were more ways we could help out. My first thought was to donate blood, because that’s the least I can do, and hopefully it will help in some way. I hope you can shake the anxiety and have a good time in Boston. Thank you for writing this!
Erin @Axell's Kitchen says
I was thinking all last night at how I am terrified to raise my son in this world the way that it is becoming. Scary. But you’re right we can’t live in fear!
Shari says
“No, actually, I’ll live it better, with more love, patience and kindness.”
^I think this is what it’s all about … it won’t change the atrocities, of course, but we can fight back in a way by bringing even more love into the world.
Lee says
If anything, I think that tragedies should remind us to go live life to the fullest because we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future and, not to be morbid, how long we have. I think you should go to Boston and enjoy that great city and not let fear take over.
Also, I have that dream about forgetting to go to class for an entire semester all the freakin’ time. Apparently it’s a very popular dream, which is strange.
Coleen @ The Redhead Baker says
I saw someone repost a comment by a comedian (Patton Oswalt) that was very well-written. I’m mobile, so can’t C&P, but the gist being, “my initial reaction is, I’m done with humanity. But then someone pointed out all the runners and bystanders going to help, and I realized that the good people outnumber the bad, always have, and always will.”
Hanna says
I hope that your friend in Boston is ok. Boston is such a beautiful city and I hope that you have a fun trip there. So much history! You’ll love it 🙂
Christina says
Thanks for posting this today. And I agree, I’m feeling fiercely protective over my little family as well!
Kathleen Ojo @ My Ojos says
I always look forward to your posts on these type of events (and there have been too, too many lately). You always put into words exactly what I’m feeling – confusion, shock, and fear. I know we shouldn’t let the terrorist “win” by being afraid, but how can you not be? We’re raising our daughters in an increasingly dangerous world. I’m trying to focus on the positive today – all the people who rushed to help the victims, all the love from around the world pouring into Boston, the love I can show those around me that might make their lives better. Thanks for posting!
Heather says
Since becoming a mom I definitely find myself more affected by these tragedies when they happen than I used to. I find myself more disturbed and worried about raising a family where there is so much senseless violence that can happen at any moment with no warning. I know it does no good to live in constant fear, but sometimes I wish I could keep my family safe in a little bubble. Granted, I’m sure that’s what these kind of people want who do such things, and it’s better to keep on living and appreciate the good that does still exist all around.
Kaitlyn @Keeping up with Kaitlyn says
I completely agree with everything that you said. We cannot live in fear. Great post, Brittany!
Sherry says
Your post brought tears to my eyes. Tears of being so proud to be your mom! As long there are people like you, we can make a loving and caring world for all the little Haileys, Kylas, Olivias, & Alexes to grow up in. When I go out today I will think about your quote “No, actually, I’ll live it better, with more love, patience and kindness.”
Danielle says
Such a beautiful post, Britt.
Joanna @ Midwestern Bite says
I think your posts are always beautifully written and even when you think it is a jumbled mess that’s how we feel too so perhaps jumbled is just what we need to read. I think our world is getting crazier and in general so many are looking in the wrong direction to fix it. Your blog is an inspiration even in times of chaos because it focuses so much on family and I think our country needs more of that good feeling, especially now.
Kelly says
“No, actually, I’ll live it better, with more love, patience and kindness.”
Amen!
Jane Preston says
Completely agree! Have a fun and safe trip!
xoxoxxo
Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen says
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I do believe the true aim of terror is the lasting impact of fear. Carrying on despite the tragic events that so often plague our world is the only way to show these twisted creators of destruction that they cannot win.
I am just sad that something that should be so inspirational, community building, and celebratory of strength, endurance, and hard work, has been turned into something so horrific and sad.
Kaye says
An eloquent post in the midst of such terrible tragedy. Enjoy all that Boston has to offer!
Aileen says
It was a terrible thing…even I who live halfway across the globe felt a lot of different emotions but mostly sadness and anger at this senseless killing. Reading more news updates and seeing pictures still give me goosebumps. How some people could harm innocent civilians is beyond my understanding. My heart goes out to Boston…
You are right…never let those people take things away from you
Courtney says
I have lived in Boston my entire life and your post brought tears to my eyes. This amazing city has had so much love and support coming our way and seeing the acts of kindness people displayed yesterday truly shows that good will always be more powerful than evil. I hope you enjoy your first trip to such a beloved city!!
blackhuff says
It’s very sad what happened at the Boston marathon. I think everyone in this World of ours, are afraid of bombs. Such terrible thing that man have invented.
Danica @ It's Progression says
I think you said it all wonderfully. It’s hard to put these feelings into words, but I love that you pointed out that those cowards want us to be afraid. And that instead of hiding away, we need to go out and spread more love and kindness <3
Neil Butterfield says
Tragic what happened in Boston. While these events are designed to paralyze people with fear, it’s important to not succumb to this. They will be brought to book and hopefully eventually learn that their efforts are futile.