That’s what I asked myself yesterday. Up until then I would have told you that I was doing a great job of sticking to my plan of 5-7am being my blog/work/play time, then putting it away for the remainder of the day. Doing that has freed up time to play more with the girls, work out, stay current on laundry (eh… scratch that, I’m always behind), read and do other fun life things, like make a veggie lasagna for a friend that just had a baby.
Hashtag this is what my kitchen usually looks like.
But yesterday I failed. I was on my phone/computer a lot. It started with a heartfelt message that I felt was important and wanted to respond to immediately, which was great, but then I let myself spiral out of control. I went on an email binge. Old habits die hard. I think my people-pleasing nature finds it tough to not want to respond to emails/texts/phone calls immediately. I know logically that no one is waiting on pins and needles for my replies but in today’s world of constant connectivity, it’s hard not to feel behind when you see things pop up that you could (should?) respond to. I’m one of those people that develop a tick when I see a few unread emails pop up in my inbox or I realize I have more than 5 flagged as ‘needing a response.’
I’m not quite sure where my insatiable need to feel “productive” comes from, but I’m really working on defining more accurately what productive means to me and how to focus on my priorities because sure enough, though I felt “productive,” I also felt distracted and drained. Holy run-on sentence batman.
I didn’t even notice how gorgeous it was yesterday until Koda went nuts barking at a squirrel and forced me outside to see what was going on. 72 and sunny was going on. North Carolina, you’re fabulous.
Oh, you noticed my thriving porch plant you say? My black thumb strikes again.
Thanks to Burn Boot Camp, I successfully disconnected yesterday afternoon to sweat it out (sprints- ahH!). Then dinner was already made when we arrived home, which was a nice.
Does anyone else double the recipe anytime they make a dish for a friend? You know, that two birds and one stone deal. This veggie lasagna turned out delicious. Both girls ate it up, which is impressive considering mixed up meals like this are sometimes a tough sell with the preschool crowd.
David worked extra late last night, meaning my bedtime was pushed back to closer to 11. I just can’t really sleep until I know he’s home. Because of that, I slept in this morning (until 7:15!) and we all had a family breakfast together before I took off to pick out granite for the bathroom.
I think we found a great option for our project, but I also couldn’t help but gush over the above white/grey/black piece too- how gorgeous would that be as a big island in a white kitchen?
I digress…
I wasn’t even feeling bad about not blogging, after all I clearly didn’t have much to say, and I was just going to hold off until tomorrow… yet as soon as I sat down here at Whole Foods with my smoothie (coconut water, pineapple, banana and kale- enter thumbs up emoji here), I found myself clicking the ‘new post’ button.
And here I sit now, scatterbrained and rambling on about wanting to be disconnected while sitting in front of my computer. Oh, the irony.
So now I’ll leave you with this:
Which one are you?
J says
Long time reader, but first time commenter here.. I’m newly at home with 2 kiddos (on mat leave with my boys aged almost-3 and 12 weeks old) and being off work for a year, away from a very high-octane career (as I suspect you’ve experienced too) really forces you to move away from being outcome-oriented to being process-oriented, I think. Kids are such an in-the moment endeavour where the work you put in doesn’t necessarily produce deliverables – it just keeps the train chugging alone, and paid work is all about effort=outcome. I always find that little things like email, messages and online stuff satisfy a bit of that effort = outcome need (aka a sense of being productive), for better or for worse. It’s just like with food though – a one day binge doesn’t mean you failed! You’re building new habits and that takes time 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Hey J! Thanks for your insight. I really think you hit the nail on the head and I hadn’t looked at it from that perspective before. I really am outcome focused (I love a good checked-off ‘to do’ list or mentally going over everything I accomplished in a day) and your are so right that kids are more process-oriented. Really loved reading your thoughts on that; thank you for commenting!! And congratulations on your new little one <3
Jerrica says
I currently have 2,256 unread emails in my inbox. And yes, some of them are probably important. I don’t even want to know what my spam folder looks like. My husband is the opposite and it drives him CRAZY looking at my inbox 😛 Also, I give myself time in the morning to space out as well. I like to catch up on blogs and world news first thing in the morning and before bed. I like to know what is going on out there…mom world can feel so small sometimes.
Monica says
I’m the one on the left. My inboxes and desktop are ALWAYS clean. I get all stressed out if they’re cluttered. My husband is the one on the left….and I don’t know how he functions!
Monica says
My husband is the one on the RIGHT that is. 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
David is the one on the right too and it drives me bonkers!! 😉
Tracy says
Don’t be too hard on yourself. No one’s perfect! It sounds like you’ve been doing a great job disconnecting on a regular basis. So you had a little relapse…no big deal. You recognize it and get back to your new goals. Eventually you’ll probably find a good compromise of tech vs no tech time.
If it makes you feel better, I am 100% a “no mail” icon person!!
Katie T says
I am definitely the one on the right with no emails in my inbox. I also have a ridiculous amount of sub folders that my emails are sorted into. My boyfriend makes fun of me because of it actually. But I can’t stand having a disorganized inbox! What if I needed that email about socks from my mom from 3 years ago and I couldn’t find it in the right sub folder?! << Not even exaggerating, its a problem.
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, I love that your emails are all sorted! I have the same thoughts, but what if I need that email about tiny detail XYZ?! I can’t delete it 😉
Monica says
I do the same thing! I have a zillion sub (and sub-sub) folders, but I can’t stand having anything in my inbox.
Sabrina says
I always double a recipe when bringing one to a friend!
I had the same kind of day yesterday. I just felt off all day, and I didn’t have a lot of energy, and I didn’t give my kids or home the attention I could have. My inbox is looking neat though…
Char says
Oh man. I flop back and forth to being on top of things (last month I got my inbox from over 3500 emails to like 300 – which were all unread!!). But now I’m back in the “meh” mode. Mainly because of my toddler that doesn’t sleep through the night (which means I don’t have a consistent routine for anything right now) and my laptop being incredibly slow. The slow computer has had the biggest effect though. Since it can’t handle anything I do (it seriously takes it 10 minutes sometimes to just even open the internet!), I just say “F it!” But I think I need a routine–whatever that may be–to help with my mind. I feel so anxious when I don’t have a routine!
Heather@hungryforbalance.com says
I go back and forth between the two. I say this, by the way, as I eat my lunch, work on blog stuff, and post this comment
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
Omg yes! I cannot have unread emails! It drives me crazy! haha Good for you for doing a better job of disconnecting! I think it’s normal to have off days. It sounds like you checked yourself and got back on track. 🙂
Brittany says
We all have our own internal struggle with balancing work and life. You will find your groove!
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says
It must be so hard to disconnect! I think that’s definitely going to be something I need to learn when kiddos come along 🙂 I have been trying to put my phone away in the evening when I’m home with my husband though, since we’re both guilty of sitting across from each other on the couch, staring at our phones!
Tanya says
Ah, that second one makes me sweat just looking at it. My inbox must be empty at all times!
LaToya says
I’m just like you. I never had a name for it (people pleasing) but you just gave me one!
Sherri @ Adventures of Love and Marriage says
I am totally the one on the left. As soon as I see I have emails I have to immediately check them. Organization is both my strength and totally my weakness. I have such a hard time putting the phone down and get totally antsy when I see I have a lot of unanswered emails.
I am starting to miss the old days when our phones didn’t have those capabilities and we weren’t accustomed to always being online.
Brittany Dixon says
Me too Sherri! I love having so much at my fingertips, but sometimes I miss the days of being out and coming home to listen to the answering machine instead.
Brynn says
i have an average of 50 emails. If it goes above that is when I do a big purge. Otherwise I will get to those unread notes at some point…probably once the inbox hits 51.
Jen says
Ha, I think I’m somewhere in the middle with the zero emails and the zillions of emails.
You’re doing a great job whether you think you are or not. The fact that you even CARE if you’re disconnecting enough of focusing enough on the girls or working out enough automatically means you’re awesome, know what I mean?
It’s another gorgeous North Carolina day out there today! I hope you’re out enjoying it.
Lauren @ Oh Hey I Like That! says
Omg I am totally the first email icon. I can’t STAND when it shows that I have unread mail in my inbox. Even if I don’t totally read the email, I feel the need to glance at it, just so that the floating red number isn’t staring me in the face. On the other hand, whenever my mother hands me her phone for something, I see that she has at least 100 emails and it drives me up a wall!
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
I’m inbox ZERO!
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma) says
I’m totally 0 e-mails in my inbox. It’s definitely that Type A personality shinning through. I can’t stand seeing one waiting for me and not responding. It’s compulsive, I know.
Monica says
Your parting comment made me laugh. Just take it one day at a time!
Oh my gosh, I’m SO the empty inboxer. If I have more than, say, 5 emails in my inbox, I get super twitchy. My boss is the other one. It gives me an anxiety attack every time I catch a glimpse of his inbox… I’m not even exaggerating! I don’t know how he can live with that kind of chaos.
Lauren Brennan says
I decided yesterday to not check my email all day long, and you know what? I got 45 emails, of which only 2 were of importance to me. 43 emails were immediately deleted. So why do I usually check my email every time I pick up my phone???
You had inspired me (yet again) to limit the amount of time my phone is in my hand. I’ve been enjoying nursing and just watching my baby suckle rather than reading those 43 unimportant emails. <3
Mona says
I feel guilty when I don’t reply to text messages or emails; but then I also miss the time when I didn’t have a phone (especially as smartphone!) and no one cared that I didn’t get in back in touch immediately. I hate it when people get annoyed if I don’t reply to a text 10 seconds later…I reply because I feel guilty, but I wish I was less connected. It very rarely happens, but sometimes I’ll forget my phone at home for the day, and it’s always an amazing feeling of relaxation.
Definitely the one on the right with emails, but that’s more because I’m awful at deleting the junk stuff I get in my inbox.