Yesterday I was the mom I often only strive to be. After feeling rushed the day before, I really wanted to focus on the moment at hand. So I left my phone on the counter and treated it as a house phone instead of a computer. And you know what? I finally discovered how to slow down time; I quit filling up every momentary gap with technology. All this time I spent thinking I was great at multitasking, I realized Iβm often just distracting myself and unnecessarily making myself feel extra busy. While itβs great to have email, the web and social media at my fingertips, I want to make sure Iβm living my life in the real world, too. Hereβs a peek into how the day wentβ¦
6:00 am β Iβm up and at the computer.
7:00 am β Kaitlyn wakes up and I nurse her. She takes her sweet time then we stay in her room to pack away clothes she has grown out of (already?!) and unpack some of Haileyβs old ones to take their place.
8:00 am β We enjoy a breakfast picnic while watching the men work on our back deck. No phone, just conversations with Hailey and her 300 silly questions.
9:00 am β Kaitlyn goes down for her nap. Hailey and I head to the playroom to paint nails, throw birthday parties and play house. A lot of house.
About here I realized my instinct to check my phone and was grateful I didnβt bring it with me. How sad is it that while Hailey runs to grab a toy, I use that 2 seconds to quickly check email? The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?
10:00 am β The play switches to her room and I go back and forth. Play for 10 minutes, leave to wash sheets and towels for 15 minutes. Repeat.
11:00 am β With both girls up and Kaitlyn fed, my window to sneak in exercise opens and I jump on it. 2.5 miles.
My patience that seemed bottomless just hours earlier wears thin as I huff and puff up a hill and Hailey keeps asking βwhere we going now mama?β as she draws our route onto her βmap.β Adorable, yes, but I seriously can barely breathe, much less chat and keep you entertained kid.
The noon hour passes photo-less with a quick shower for me and lunch all around.
1:00 pm β Once I get both girls down, I decide to continue embracing this limited technology. After replying to a few quick emails, I hammer out some thank you notes, brew a cup of tea and make a few phone calls.
2:00 pm β Kaitlyn is surprising me with a long second nap and I hardly know what to do with myself. I decide cleaning the house and dinner prep is a good choice.
3:00 pm β I feed Kaitlyn again and she hangs out with me while I dry my hair, fascinated with the noise from the hairdryer. I realize not having it in a messy ponytail on top of my head actually makes me feel a lot more put together.
4:00 pm β We make a trip to the farmers market for milk and end up with a pumpkin, honey crisp apples and honey sticks too.
5:00 pm β THIS WEATHER. I leave my phone at home (again, is it sad that this is rare?) and with Kaitlyn in the Ergo and Hailey pushing her lawnmower, we go for a neighborhood walk to soak in the sunshine and 70s.
6:00 pm β Dinner for Hailey and more dinner prep for me.
7:00 pm β I bathe the girls and get Kaitlyn down before crawling into bed to read with Hailey. She snuggles up on my shoulder and even shares some of her beloved pink blanket with me. Oh that moment is sweet.
8:00 pm β David is home! Dinner finally comes together.
The next hour is spent on the couch, chatting and watching TV and by 10, we are in bed.
Donβt let me fool you into thinking that this is what our everyday looks like. It isnβt always this idyllic. However, Iβm realizing I can make more days look like this by putting down my dang phone and stepping away a little from my computer. I wasnβt able to βget doneβ as much as I usually do, but the trade off was less anxiety, feeling like time really did slow down and having a better ability to parent with patience.
So while I know itβs unrealistic to think everyday can be like that, I want to make more of an effort to try.
Have you ever consciously stepped away from technology?
Was it hard? Freeing?
Marnie @ SuperSmartMama says
Smartphones. A blessing and a curse. I have to make a conscientious effort to step away from my phone, too. I can’t leave the house without it — it’s the second thing I check to make sure I have after my car & house keys. My husband and I have to remind each other to put phones down during mealtimes every once in a while, which is sad, but true.
Marjorie says
I am SO struggling with this right now. I mean, is the world actually going to come to an end if I respond to an email, tweet or blog comment within 12-24 hours, rather than immediately??? NO.
And you are right that it makes us feel “busier” than we actually are. Technology can become a time-suck, and my time is to limited to be wasting time online. I need to work on this!
Brittany Dixon says
I (obviously) have the same struggle. I really pride myself on getting back to people quickly, but I have to be conscious and careful that it’s not at the expensive of my being there for my kids. They come first, but talk is cheap so I want to SHOW them that. Not always easy
Al says
Yup. I quit Facebook in February and it’s the best thing I ever did!
I go through phases of “leaving my phone” in another room or off, but I struggle to do that when one or both of my Children are at school and I am the first call if something is wrong. Therefore when I leave my phone or turn it off, it is usually after 3pm when both are back in my care. Or after 6pm when it’s dinner, bath and bed and I have everyone with me and they all need my attention. I love these times when I can do this.
Thank you, Brittany, for the reminder. I will do it today. Make it a habit. And then it will become daily. Keep reminding me! π
Brittany Dixon says
Sigh, and now I feel guilty for trying to lure you back to facebook π
I miss you! Can we get the girls together soon please?
Joelle says
I love this post. I am totally guilty of checking my phone every 5 minutes. Thanks for the reminder of what’s most important.
As an aside, where did you get that adorable doll house? Also, recipe for that yummy meal??
Brittany Dixon says
The dollhouse is a KidKraft one that Hailey got for Christmas last year. I found it on sale on zulily!
The meal was just ok. I was disappointed that lacked a little in flavor otherwise I’d share!
Carrie (This Fit Chick) says
oh gosh, YES. I am trying to slowly pull back— SLOWLY is the key word there. It is so so refreshing
char eats greens says
Sounds like a good day! I’ve been trying to step back from technology lately too!! I used to have the TV on way more than I wanted (especially since I didn’t want Nia to watch any TV before the age of 2), and it has helped tremendously!! Plus, I didn’t check my email until the evening last night and I felt a-okay about it! I really do think stepping away has made me less anxious/stressed so we’re onto something. Now if you can just get me back into meal planning and we’ll be laughing!
Laura @FitMamaLove says
It’s really hard for me to step away from my phone and I think it’s great you gave it a try for a day. We just had an unplugged camping trip and it was nice, but definitely felt weird to not check my phone all the time. I make sure the phone is always down during mealtimes, though. That’s family time!
Nicole says
Is it sad I’m a little nervous of the thought of not having my phone to browse? Such a hard habit to break! Also… that beef & broccoli dish looks amazing! Would you consider providing a link to the recipe, or the cookbook?
Brittany Dixon says
The dinner actually wasn’t all that flavorful! I don’t think the recipe is online, but the sauce was made from basic garlic, white wine and soy sauce. If I find a way to make it more tasty I will share!
Nicole says
No worries! Thanks for the reply :).
Heather says
This. We’re always noticing just how often we’re on our phones, and for a week we put our phones away when we got home until after the kids went to bed. I think it’s something we need to do again, and make more of an effort to put our phones away on at least one day of the weekend. Sometimes our phones can be very useful, but more often than not I feel like they’re just unnecessary distractions taking away from valuable family time. Thank you for this reminder!
Joanna @Makingmine says
I needed to read this today. I’ve been far to “plugged in” lately, and my life is chaotic as a result. I can only imagine how many wasted minutes add up from being on my phone each day! The detox starts now! π
Jerrica says
I gave up my phone right after my son was born 4.5 years ago. I have dreamed of being a mom since I was little, it is all I ever wanted and it is my job. People cannot sit on their phones or browse the internet all day at work, they would get fired!, so why is it different for stay home moms? Children imitate behavior that they see so if they see you distracted, frustrated, annoyed or anxious, those are the behaviors you will see in your kids. Kids don’t understand what a cell phone is, they only know that it gets attention when they are not. I do not ever want my kid to feel that I am too busy to read that 12th story, or too distracted to answer ‘why?????’ one more time. I have not missed one. single. moment and there is nothing in the entire world that can take that away. Also, I live in Silicon Valley, the technology capital of the WORLD. If I can do it, anyone can! On a side note, I do have an emergency pre paid flip phone that costs $2 to use. It stays in the car and has yet to be used. I also ALWAYS lay out my day for my husband before he leaves so he knows where I am and how to get a hold of me and I do NOT stray from my plan.
Brittany Dixon says
Loved hearing your input Jerrica, especially the part about a child not understanding what a cellphone is, but just that it is getting attention. That one hit home!
For me, my phone has been a gift many times when I’ve felt the isolation of being a SAHM (especially early on), so I can’t hate on it completely, but I do strive for more balance and discipline of when I should and should not be holding it. Thanks for adding to the conversation!
Katie says
Great post, I love the reminder to set the phone down! Random question as I have a daughter about Kaitlyn’s age. How did you know when she was ready to be in the jogging stroller for runs? I have one and have taken her on walks in it, but have been waiting to use it for running. As the weather starts to cool off I am wanting to take her out on runs with me!
Brittany Dixon says
First I should say my ‘running’ is probably equivalent to most people’s walks π
As for the head control, I asked the doctor at her 2 month appointment and she had such great control that she gave me the go ahead then, but I held off for probably about another month. However, if I was a fast or long distance runner, I might have waited even longer.
That’s just my experience though, so definitely talk to your doc and stick to whatever makes you feel comfortable!
lauren says
I struggle with this. I’m not a stay at home mom, but I tend to check my phone 1000x a day. And in the am, I always want to look at something or send a few texts. And then I lose a lot of valuable time. There’s also the convenience of the camera on it. Sometimes I wish I took more pictures/videos of my son. It’s hard to limit checking things, but I want to make more of an effort. Sometimes at night my husband asks me what I’m doing when we sit down to watch TV, and my response is usually “looking at random stuff”. I’m “addicted” to looking at new recipes, blogs, etc. but I don’t need to be doing that all/every night.
This balance stuff is SO hard. I could probably log out of facebook…I don’t even post, I just friend-stalk π totally not important.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh yeah, I struggle with balance everyday! I’m really working on ‘batching’ my tasks (allocating a certain time for emails and not checking or responding in between), but it isn’t easy. I figure just realizing I need to work on it is half the battle π
Alex says
That sounds like you had a very nice day yesterday.
I actually didn’t own a smartphone until a year ago. This really helped me be intentional and focus on the conversations I was having, living in the present and making memories. Since I’ve gotten an iPhone, I still do a pretty good job of keeping it tucked away when my fiancΓ© or I are on a date night or catching up about our days, but I don’t aleays practice this with more idle time, say when we are in a car. I’d like to get better with these moments.
Angela @ HonestlyAngela says
I love the idea of treating your cell phone like a house phone. I am going to try it for a few hours a day so I can focus on my little one and be in the moment. Thanks for the inspiration!
Maria says
One of the things I looked forward to the most on our recent trips was the fact that my phone would not work. But darn AT&T even has service in Alaska? Jerks π
I often need my phone nearby for work, so it’s not easy to step away, but I CAN delete my social media apps, which I tend to do on a regular basis. I don’t know how many times I’ve deleted and downloaded Facebook. Perhaps I have a problem?
Domi @ Eat, Pray, Lift says
Oh man, it’s hard. I was always the kind of girl who would forget to check her phone all day, and even when I got a smart phone it wasn’t too bad…until I started blogging. Now it’s like there’s the added pressure of checking email/social media for business as well as personal. I’m finding that I can still be well-connected if I limit my phone time, and it allows me to be SO much more productive in other areas. Like any habit, though, it’s a bear to break. You’re definitely not alone in that struggle!
Urban Wife says
Ouch. This post really hit home and reading through the comments, I especially loved what Jerrica said about kids not knowing what a phone is, just that it’s something else getting attention and not them. Our son sees any of our phones out and he immediately wants to look at it. It’s crazy but definitely a good reminder that we need to be more intentional about the example we want to set for our kids. Thanks for sharing this post!
mandi s. says
This is off topic but just wondering…will you give your kids the flu shot? Trying to get some input from other mothers about this
Thanks
Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries says
I’m pretty good at putting away technology on weekends and when we go on trips, but during the week, it’s TOUGH for me. I should try to do this some time. I have a feeling it’d be good for me and challenge me!
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma) says
I think this is such a great post! It’s important for ppl to put down their phones (i.e. handheld computers). They are such a distraction. I feel terrible when David’s telling me a story and I grab my phone to browse instagram — ugh, it’s terrible! I need to stop! I quit FB in June and I do think that’s some what helped. It’s nice to have less notifications popping up and one less thing to check. I did have to make a fake one for my MIS page, but I barely check it and I don’t have any friends on it so it’s not a distraction. Good for you realizing this!
Lindsay says
I have been trying to be mindful about using my phone during the day. I make an effort every day to leave my phone in the other room for a few hours at a time so that I can just play with Edith especially when Alder is napping and we have our one on one time. It’s really hard to do and I myself know how easy it is to pick up my phone to check emails in between toys
Jillian @ Baby Doodah! says
I Personally haven’t ever done this, I’ve tried, but have miserably failed. I go out side with my son, leave my phone inside and intend to not look at it again until he is asleep. It rarely works out. LOL I end up asking my husband to bring my phone out, when he’s on his way out with the food for dinner.
I need to get better. I want to be more present for my son – he’s experiencing so much and I’d like to experience all of it with him.
Really great post and a reminder that putting the phone down is a good thing!!
Nan says
Love this post! I am actually the probably one of the rare people in the world who do not have a smart phone of any type! Think Zach Morris’s Saved by the bell phone… well, maybe not that bad! Anyhow, I love love love email and my facebook, etc but I just know my personality that if I had access to it all day, I would be on it all the time. People laugh and ask all the time how I get by with just a regular phone but I do…. By the way, I know its not easy at all but the way you manage with your two little girls is so completely inspiring. I have a 2 year old now and beginning to think about #2 and I just feel so overwhelmed. Me and my little guy are so comfortable in our routine that I feel so nervous about shaking it up! You give me hope!
Chantal says
I want to do this. I NEED to do this. We just got back from vacation and I was hardly on my phone since, well, I couldn’t be without WiFi. It was freeing and I didn’t even get annoyed by it. For some reason I’m nervous about leaving it at home when I go out, so maybe I’ll make a concerted effort to leave it in my purse π
Liz Nwansi says
I just found your website through this blog post but I’m absolutely on board with the no phone thing. I actually recently had to delete my FB because every second I was scrolling through updates rather then being present with Penelope.
Love this post and your blog!