What makes a good summer? I don’t think checking off all the items off a summer bucket list is necessarily the ticket to bond with your kids (which is why we are doing this instead of a list).
When I first was thinking about this post, the first tip that came to my mind was a little unconventional. I considered leaving this out, but it’s really been useful for me. That tip? It’s to get a babysitter or do a swap with a friend and watch each others’ kids for a few hours on a consistent basis. Why is getting help a tip to actually bonding with your kids? Because I believe in quality over quantity. As a SAHM/WAHM, I have a lot of quantity time with my kids, but I finally got it through my head that quality means more to me. Getting a sitter for 4 hours in the morning means my afternoon is free to be with my kids- body, mind, and spirit.
But what about the time we are with our kids? How do we make those stretched out summer days count and connect us on a deeper level? Here are a few ways I’ve found to bond with my girls this summer.
Set the clock for 30 minutes to 1 hour and let them call the shots. If you can do it without a time frame, kudos to you, but sometimes it helps me knowing it’s for a limited time. I’ve learned so much about my kids by letting them take the lead. I’ve learned their passions and what lights them up. I’ve learned that sometimes they’d rather just have me play dolls or build forts with them rather than do a fancy pinterest-worthy craft.
Look at photos and tell stories about the pictures. Yes, we love a good walk down memory lane. I’ve been using any free moment I have to try and finish off our 2017 family album (yes, I’m way behind, but Mixbook makes it easy to hop on and do just a little at a time). I’ve concluded I take way too many pictures, but when I see the joy my kids get from thumbing through our albums together, I know it’s worth it. Here’s more on how I turn family memories into keepsakes.
Make a mess in the kitchen. My girls LOVE making their own sourdough, pizza dough, and mixing things together until it resembles… you guessed it… dough! I let them roll it and mix it and then we bake it and taste their crazy creations. Other times I enlist their help with something real (like these apple cinnamon oat muffins) so we can all enjoy the product. We usually end up taking extras to the neighbors houses, which is another fun activity on its own!
Read aloud together. We all know reading with children is a simple way to improve their language and reading skills. But research also shows that reading with children actually stimulates patterns of brain development responsible for connection and bonding. This makes sense when we consider that story time usually involves cuddling, eye contact, and shared emotion. We’ve been in the habit of picking a single novel at a time (I recommend these!). We like to make it a special event when we can with snuggles, blankets, popcorn (sometimes special popcorn!), etc. Then we discuss the book, like a mini book club, and if one is available, we’ll watch the movie when we are finished with the book too, which is always a fun treat!
Another tip I heard once that has stuck with me is the importance of breaking the routine. As someone who typically enjoys having a routine and order, I completely agree that going off course sometimes leads to creating the strongest memories. Growing up my mom would sometimes announce a backwards dinner, where we’d bake and eat chocolate chip cookies for dinner, and to this day those nights still feel special and make me smile. Especially during the summertime, I love being reminded that it’s ok (and encouraged) to shake things up a bit. Making memories is what it’s all about!
How do you navigate quantity versus quality time with your kids?
What are your favorite ways to bond with your kids during the summer?
sherry says
So many special moments you are creating with your family—and nice to have it all documented for the girls to be able to look back on one day with their kids!
Kathy says
I totally agree it makes sense to get help so later you can be totally with your kids. It took me a long time to learn that. You’re on top of things!!
John J. says
You, and David, do an awesome job of bonding with Hailey and Kaitlyn while creating wonderful memories – all of which are saved through the jillion of pics you take! Keep sharing and encouraging other parents to make those special bonds.
Laura says
Wonderful ideas! I am all about adventure and spontaneity when it comes to bonding with my kids. Sometimes it’s a little thing like baking and eating a chocolate cake for a late lunch when I am home with the kids over summer. Or sometimes an impromptu afternoon drive and hike or exploration someplace new or different (many choices where we live- desert, mountains, plains). I also love bonding over the bigger summer adventures like our various road trips- late night swimming in a hotel pool, pushing our limits just the right amount on an exciting hike, laughing over the silly things. I look forward to seeing these experiences evolve as my kids get older. My absolute favorite summer bonding moment with my mom was a late night pizza run when I was around 10. My dad and sister were asleep but my mom and I were night owls and we were watching a PBS show on the best pizzas. They showed one covered in broiled tomato slices and my mom decided we had to have one. Without waking anyone else up we drove into town, must have been close to 11 pm, and shared a pizza at a restaurant that stayed open late, with broiled tomato slices. It was the best pizza we’d ever had and I remember a lot of laughter! I often wonder if my mom left a note or anything, saying where were going (before cell phones)! My mom also picked me up once from a track meet when I was 12 and drove us straight to get our passport photos- she had just booked June tickets to Germany with a travel agency, but hadn’t even told my dad yet (they had talked about it, but were still on the fence). She saw me and said- we’re going! It turned out to be one of the best memories and decisions ever made. I lost my mom in 2003 and I am so grateful for those adventures and bonding moments which have shaped me into the mother I am today.
Kristen says
I don’t even know you, yet this comment made me emotional. Thank you for sharing your sweet memories of your mom. <3
Laura says
Thank you Kristen. I’m not usually so open and honest, but I lost one of my dearest, closest friends unexpectedly on Monday, who is also a mother. After a couple of days of extreme grieving, I have been doing a lot of reflecting.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh Laura, I’m so sorry for your recent loss. I’ll be saying a prayer and thinking of you as you navigate through this difficult time. I’m so sorry.
Brittany Dixon says
These truly made my heart swell; what a beautiful tribute to your mom and the love she had for you. Such special memories; thank you for sharing <3
kaly says
what a beautiful tribute to your mom and the love she had for you.