Growing up I remember thinking that talk radio was for old people. It’s so boring. Why listen to someone talk when you can rock out to Dreamlover? By the way, that song came out 20 years ago. Mind = blown.
I’m eating my words now, though, because I love listening to talk. I listen to Wake Up with Taylor on Sirius XM, so I’m not sure if that classifies as “grown up” talk radio, but I also listen to Dave. I’m a big fan of Dave. Dave? Dave Ramsey, of course.
He’s a financial guru, but I also tend to see eye to eye with him on other issues as well, like politics and parenting.
The other day I was listening to his show and while he was discussing how to raise kids to be smart with money, he uttered the phrase- more is caught than taught.
I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since then. I totally believe in that statement.
Sure my parents discussed right and wrong with me, but I’m a decent person because they led by example. They are good people and do the right thing. I caught that. I caught a whole lot more from watching them live, too… mostly good
Hearing the phrase served as a reminder of the kind of parent I want to be. I don’t want to lecture, I want to lead by example .
I’ve been thinking of my hopes for who Hailey will be and the words that come to mind are strong, confident, healthy, happy, grateful, kind, smart, giving, loving and self-reliant… in no particular order. These are ideals I strive for in my own life, but obviously I’m human and fall short. This mantra has me really focusing, though, on living my ideals in hopes that Hailey will “catch” them.
When I’m nervous to meet someone or do something new, I take a deep breath and try to go into it with the confidence I’d want Hailey to have. When I find myself tempted to pinch my thighs and say “SHRINK already!!”, I catch Hailey out of the corner of my eye and instead smile at myself in the mirror and say “look how strong momma is!”.
It’s starting to make a real difference in the way I view, treat and handle myself. I’m slowly becoming the person I want my daughter to be.
More is caught than taught. Think about it. Think about the way you treat yourself and the way you live. Would you be proud if a child grew up to be exactly like you? If not, what would you want to change for them? What’s stopping you from making that change for yourself?
…deep thoughts on this Tuesday. Thanks for letting me ramble.
Ann Marie says
I also believe that kids should see us not being so perfect; that we can make mistakes and that sometimes things are scary, but we can do it! Kids can be intimidated by perfection also.
Great point- so true! Lucky for me, I’ve got the “not being perfect” thing covered 😉
Lindsey @ Pas de Deux says
Oh Brittany, what a terrific post! I don’t have kids (yet), but this is such a goo thing to remember–actions speak louder than words!
Parita @ myinnershakti says
LOVE this post so so much. Actions always speak louder than words. I often think about what I “caught” from my own parents and what I want my kids to “catch” from me and Vishnu. You pretty much summed it all up for me!
I love listening to Dave too. I have never heard this phrase before but I know that kids pick up on everything! My 3 year old daughter treats her baby doll like we treat her. It’s funny and eye opening at the same time! Great post Brittany!
Tiff @ Love, Sweat, & Beers says
Love this! Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts. I totally agree, and now I’m going to have a few deep thoughts of my own today.
Susan @ Real Life Travels says
Agree, I also think it’s really important to say yes to kids rather than always no. They hear No so many times during the day. It’s pretty hard to do sometimes but it’s made me relax in certain areas of my parenting to allow him to do things that normally someone would say no too.
Love this! While I think what we say to our kids is so important, our actions and what we say to others matters just as much. Great post, Brittany!
Hi, I’m a new mom. You hit the nail on the head with this post. A reminder that I need to lead by example.
I also listen to Wake Up With Taylor!! You’re the first person I “know” that also listens to her. Other than that, yes I think teaching lessons is more about what you don’t say, and also more about what you do.
Hey girl heyyyyyyyy! It’s always fun to meet a fellow little effer. It’s like we’re in a secret club 😉
Fabulous post. So proud that our daughter has grown into the young woman that I would want to be!
Aw, mom, I love you. Thanks for making me catch the good stuff 🙂
Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen says
Thank you for rambling. 🙂
LOVE this idea…and it really is so true. Although there are definitely words that stick and make impressions long after they have been uttered, generally they aren’t ‘lessons’ but comments made in the simple act of living. Actions, and the words that come through daily interactions, can be so powerful. Even when explicitly setting out to teach kids, one of the things, as a teacher, I have to remember, is that just saying it doesn’t make it ‘stick.’ Kids need to touch and do and witness and practice, and all of that comes in to play in this concept.
Part of me regrets not going into teaching because I think it would be fascinating to learn about how kids learn. I’m so grateful to caring teachers like you that make it fun to learn, and sometimes even sneak knowledge into their heads without them realizing it 😉
PS- custom nutty butter giveaway? Clicking over… NOW
Kaitlyn @Keeping up with Kaitlyn says
Such an amazing post!! I’m in college, so no kids for me anytime soon. But I completely agree with this! Love it!
“I’m slowly becoming the person I want my daughter to be.”
I love that statement.
I am continually trying to be a better person than I was the day before. I fall short too many times. I want my son to have a better childhood and relationship with me than I had with my parents. It takes a lot of work to not fall into the same patterns my they did.
Thanks for this post, I loved it all.
I love the deep thoughts today Brittany! That mantra is so beautiful and true! This is a great post! I don’t have kids, or even close to that but I love what you’ve stated!
This is a good reminder! I need to model the behavior I’d like to see in Penny. It’s hard work though.
Danica @ It's Progression says
I agree 100% that our children learn from watching us live rather than just by what we tell them. Have you ever heard the song “In My Daughter’s Eyes” by Martina McBride? If you’ve never listened to it before you absolutely should, just prepare for some tears.
Just wanted to say that I love listening to Dave. 🙂
That is so true! I think I learned so much from just observing my parents. I think it’s especially important when it comes to girls and their body image. My mom never said a thing negative about her body until I was pretty old… And I think that was huge!! I never had any negative thoughts or even thought about things like weight until I went to college. Pretty crazy to think about, but something I hope to instill in my girl(s) one day.
lindsay @ fuelmyfamily says
I agree, and it becomes more and more important as they get older. I also make sure if i feel i over-reacted to my 4 year old that i go back and appologize, mostly if i speak to her in a not so nice voice. I want her to see I mess up too but i appologize and try to work on it. All we can expect from them is their best efforts, not perfection
Paige Colson says
I love Dave Ramsey!
Great post hunnie. I love your thoughts on it all. Definitely has me thinking about some things now 🙂
I absolutely love this post and I had to write down the sentence…“I’m slowly becoming the person I want my daughter to be.” This is perfect! I could never put into words what I want for my sons but this sentence is absoultely perfect. It will be forever in my mind. Thank you so much for the beautiful post.