When I hear that someone is pregnant, I get very excited for them. I remember people telling me all the horror stories about having kids… the lack of sleep, lack of personal time, etc… so I always want to make sure that I tell them a positive truth (well, my truth at least) that being a parent is the most freaking awesome thing in the world.
Is it challenging? Absolutely. But totally, undeniably worth it.
However, being a mom means that I must go about things a little differently than I did before being a mom. And you know who understands that best? Other moms.
Yesterday, after a few diaper changes and feedings, the mommy mofia (Susan, Cindi, Jen, Jenny and I) rolled into Birkdale Village.
Oh yes, that’s right, I finally got to meet sweet Wyatt. He’s a doll!
Lucky for us, the folks at eeZ Fusion and Sushi were more than accommodating to our group.
And the sushi hit the spot! (Brown rice rainbow roll)
It’s nice hanging out with other moms because you have the same thoughts… how to eat one handed while holding a pacifier in a baby’s mouth with the other, when to request checks because you need to nurse within 20 minutes or risk a melt down, which restaurant to choose based on whether they have a changing table in the bathroom or not… we get each other.
I’ve found it incredibly vital to have this kind of support because I also have some fabulous friends that don’t have children and it’s hard to explain (not that they ask me to) why I can’t do everything I used to.
One of my best friends just got engaged (shout out to you, Hewee!
…. wait a second, she doesn’t actually read the blog… haha) and is going to look at wedding dresses this weekend in Atlanta. We’ve been BFFs since 7th grade and the thought of not being there while she tries on dresses makes me sad. I’ve thought about it every which way, and I just can’t make it work. I can’t take Hailey on a 4 hour drive, then to a bridal shop and a girls lunch and expect her to not get cranky and then drive 4 hours back home. Plus, I’d probably be too stressed about whether or not Hailey would bust out screaming in a fancy bridal shop to enjoy the experience. Packing up everything she needs for a day and making sure I’m somewhere I can nurse her every 3 hours doesn’t make things any easier, either.
As I get older I’m learning that you can’t plan your life according to others. You have to get married, have kids, accept jobs, move cities when it works best for you. It isn’t selfish- it’s life. Maybe I can’t be there for trying on dresses, but I’ll sure as heck find a way to be go down to visit and celebrate the bride-to-be during this exciting time because they people you care about most are worth the extra effort, even if the timing is a it different than you would have hoped.
And the people you really care about? They’ll understand. But it also helps to spend time with others in your same situation to help ease the guilt. And that’s why I love mommy play dates 
Have you ever had to miss something special to you because of an uncontrollable life event?
Did your friend or family member understand?
I feel blessed that Kristin completely understands. And that’s why I love her.
Lee says
One of my best friends is pregnant with her second. Depending on my job situation, my husband and I might start trying later this year so that will be really nice to have a friend with a baby that’s similar in age if it happens that way.
Lindsay@FuelMyFamily says
I had to miss the christening of my goddaughter because it was a 7 hour drive I was goIng to have to make by myself with my then 2 year old while pregnant and puking all day with number 2.
I had kids young so I was the first of my friends to get married and have babies. It’s nice now though that they are all doing it too, brings us even closer!
Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean says
awwww best friends are the best!
Paulina says
When I was pregnant, I would hear stories about mom’s not having time to see their friends as much and I just didn’t get it. Can’t you just leave the baby with dad or a sitter? But, now I totally get it. Even if you were to make the 4 hour drive without Hailey, you’d still have to pump every three hours, and I think pumping in public is even more of a hassel than nursing. My two besties are getting married this spring and I’m in both weddings and have already had to miss out on some of the fun wedding planning stuff. I want my own Mama Mafia lol, maybe in a few years when these newlyweds start making babies!
Brittany says
I agree- pumping is so much more of a pain than I thought it would be. ALmost to the point where it’s not worth it. And no one understands until they have to do it themselves. I know I didn’t understand until I had to do it!
Gina @ Running to the Kitchen says
I’m going to comment on the other side of this “situation” (not the right word for it, but can’t think of a better one) as someone who is the only one without kids in a big group of friends. While I know kids and a family is what all my friends want and I’m happy they have achieved that or are on their way to achieving it, I don’t want that and it can be frustrating because I’m the one left with no one to relate to on outings or trips anymore. Obviously, it’s my own choice to not have kids but for as much as you probably feel included by your new group of mom friends it’s pretty much the opposite for me.
Just thought I’d throw that out there. Not looking for sympathy or anything just my take on it all 🙂
Glad you got a day out with people who “get it” 🙂
Brittany says
I love hearing the other side! I give you props for knowing what you want I think that’s great. And I think both sides feel left out at one point or another. I know I feel left out when my girls go on a big, wild trip and I can’t go, but I know that great friends are always there for each other- even if they can’t 100% understand what the other is going through. Thanks for your comment 🙂
Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen says
I’m not a mom. I may never be a mom. (Who knows at this point? I may never be a wife either!) But I love that you have found others with whom you can relate to…it’s rare to be able to find an entire group of women who are on the same level, and in the same position (whether that is age-based, single/married, mom/not-a-mom) in the same place…at the same time! [After college anyway. ;)]
Cindi says
I love our mama mafia! Had so much fun seeing you and Hailey – can’t wait to do it again!
Natalie @ Living Green Chicago says
I agree with Sarah! My husband and I moved to the city right after graduation, and almost two years later, we are still trying to figure out how to meet new people. Who knew college made that so much easier than the real world does. It’s great to hear that as a new mom you’re finding other mommies in similar stages of life – I can’t imagine how helpful it must be to have a strong support network right now!! So exciting 🙂
Tiff @ Love Sweat and Beers says
Wedding dress shopping is so much fun! Be sure to toast with some champagne after if you find a good one. 🙂 I recommend Bridals by Lori, but I’m biased since that’s where I found my dress.
By the way, I love that first pic of you two!
Heather Culligan says
I’m a regular reader, but this is my first time commenting so yay for that! I must say that I found this post to be very refreshing. I’ve been married for a year and, of course, people bring up the baby conversation. I love my career and the life hubby and I lead right now, so the timing just isn’t right. I love that you said ‘you can’t plan your life around others.’ I struggle with that as I watch friends have babies, sometimes already on the second one. So, thanks for the honesty and the reassurance! Funny how someone with kids can also relate to those without!!
Brittany says
Isn’t it funny that right after you say ‘I do’ people want to know when you’ll pop out a kid? It’s crazy. Good for you for knowing what timing is best for you and thanks for commenting 🙂
Julie says
Love that you are providing a positive view of being a mom! I’m not one yet, but considering i get choked up reading birth stories, i can’t imagine what it will be like to have my own little peanut! I think showing that is is hard work, but that it’s all so rewarding is important!
I feel like as far as friends understanding, that is their job! Especially at this age in my life, i feel like you have to give and take in friendships (and all relationships) and understand each other! No hard feelings over small things that can’t be helped 🙂
Christie says
Oh I wish I had known you guys were getting together! I would’ve loved to have joined you guys! Maybe next time.
Brittany says
Yes, come next time!!
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma) says
I’ve never been wedding dress shopping. Finally 1 of my friends got engaged last September! I’m so excited for her!
Congrats to your friend!
Sarah says
I can relate! My sister got engaged on Christmas Eve. She lives in Mississippi and I live in Pennsylvania. We were able to do a little dress shopping together before she had to go back home, but I know she misses seeing Nolan and I miss being able to be more a part of the wedding stuff.
But we both root each other on and are happy for each other’s life adventures…we just miss each other. I guess it makes the times things do work out all the sweeter.
Jen says
Yesterday was so much fun! Hailey is too precious. I can’t wait to do it again! Love that picture of me and W 🙂
Erin says
I love your blog and wait for it to pop up in my email. O appreciate all of your thoughts. We are in sync right now. I have a 1 month old and love being a mom but I too watch the clock to see if I can get one more thing done before the next feeding. Thank you for making me realize I’m not crazy and there are others out there just like me. Babies are wonderful and I wouldn’t change my life for anything!
Brittany says
We’re all just doing the best we can- those feedings sure do come quickly, don’t they?! 😉
Dana Tamasi says
Brittany! I love reading your blogs and watching you and hailey grow! Kristin will totally understand your situation!! You have a great friend in her. My in-laws have a lake house on Sinclair so if you ever want to get together when you are visiting your parents on oconee shoot me a message. I would love to meet hailey
Brittany says
Hi Dana!! SO good to hear from you- thanks for reading. I love seeing pics on FB of Tripp and Paisley- they’re precious. I’d love to see you sometime. Maybe we can work something out on my next road trip 🙂
Roz@weightingfor50 says
Congrats to Kristen!!! TRUE friends completely understand that “real life” simply has to take priority sometimes. Keep doing what you’re doing Brittany, you are balancing it all and doing what is best for you and your family.
Natalie says
Brittany, thanks so much for this post. I just found out I was pregnant last weekend, and spent much of the week worrying about the timing. My sister- my only sibling- is getting married 6-7 weeks before my due date, And I’ve only been at my new job a month, so very little maternity leave. However, if we planned our family around outside forces we would die without kids. Thanks for your inspiring post!
Brittany says
I’m also a firm believer that if you wait for the right time, it will never come 🙂 CONGRATS on your pregnancy- don’t let the outside circumstances rob you of any joy during this special time.
Autumn@Good Eats Girl says
Completely agree about hanging out with other moms…it’s definitely needed some times! I have friends who aren’t moms that try to talk all mommy things with me, but at times it’s nice to be around other moms! So glad that you had a great time with friends yesterday!
Heather says
aw so fun! I can’t wait to meet wyatt one day.
It’s so great you have other new moms to hang with!
Samantha @ Health, Happiness & Skinny Jeans says
This is such a great post. I think it’s important for everyone to cut themselves some slack when life gets busy and the people around you who truly care will always understand. I am not a mom but I understand that life changes and that those friends and family members with kids will have different scheduling requirements and I don’t mind one single bit!! Whether its weekly or every few months I am always grateful for the time we have 🙂
blackhuff says
Just like you, I too make sure to tell them the positive, cool things about being a parent and caring for the little one when they are born because there are so many people who do talk fear into you when pregnant. Good for you.
Sarah says
I dont have any kids yet, but i think the whole moms group and support thing is so cool. Such a bonding experience as well!