I talk pretty openly about my fondness for intuitive eating. Moderation without restriction is something I believe strongly in, but it hasn’t always been that way. Once upon a time (that time being college) I had more shall we say interesting? eating habits as I struggled to find my definition of healthy. I would gobble down late night pizza in its entirety and had even been known to put my feet up and eat an entire 6 pack of bagels in one couch sitting. After those moments, I’d feel the urge to restrict, and a Monday “fresh start” was a regular occurrence- whether that was in the form of eggs and pork rinds while joining my roommate on Atkins or chewing on a stalk of broccoli when I focused more on veggies.
I never had an eating disorder and I don’t take those words lightly, as I know people that struggle with them and it is not a term to throw around haphazardly. However, I certainly had disordered eating habits and occasionally some of those old sentiments bubble up after my more indulgent stretches. Take last week for example.
With a full week of tasks to attend to, the days were packed full. On top of that, my allergies kicked up something fierce, so I only made it to bootcamp once at the beginning of the week. Now you may assume with less exercise, one would focus more on eating well, but for me, they tend to go hand in hand. If I’m active, then I find myself wanting to cook and eat healthy food. If I am inactive, stressed and busy, the desire for balance and quality food fall by the wayside as my energy drops and I opt for just making it through.
The crazy week led into the (wonderful and celebratory) crazy weekend and by Sunday I found myself in a place where I hadn’t exercised for a week and had been choosing heavier and more frequent meals than my norm, not to mention small slices of cake every time I walked by. That’s nothing terrible of course, but I felt sluggish and BLAH and then there it was, that old feeling- the urge to restrict.
Grand plans of nothing but veggies and lean proteins briefly bounced through my head. Luckily I can recognize it now and know that path isn’t the best choice for me. For me, restriction is never the answer. It leads to success followed by ultimate failure, two words that don’t belong in my version of balance.
So instead, I take the following steps:
Focus on adding, not subtracting. Filling my cart full of vegetables and incorporating them into my meals leaves less room for the junkier food. Drinking more water. More real, unprocessed food. Focusing on MORE of the good stuff instead of less of the less desirable puts everything in a positive and motivating light while still making the progress that I’m after.
Move more. I will make it to bootcamp this week, but I am unable to do so as often as I’d like. However, I’ve hit my 10k step goal for the past 3 days now by just moving more. Cleaning around the house, putting the girls in the stroller and walking, etc. I’m not focused on the calorie burn number, just on getting my blood flowing because it makes me feel good, which leads to a positive spiral.
Organizing. Cleaning out the fridge, planning meals, structuring my days- all of these refocus my desire for control onto positive and fruitful areas of my life. While I used to use this intense will power to restrict, now I put it to work for me and feel the satisfaction of getting to the bottom of my laundry pile, knocking out photo edits and catching up on other various to-dos.
I’m all for reeling things in a bit, stocking up on good food and setting healthy intentions, but I am careful not to set myself up to fail by creating strict and unreasonable guidelines.
Plus, being a role model for my girls, I never want to have them hear me say “mommy can’t eat that” or model restrictive behavior. Under our roof, I feel passionately about doing all I can to set them up for healthy relationships with food, though that is a post for another day entirely.
How do you handle your more indulgent weeks?
Have you ever struggled with disordered eating?
What helped you?
Kate says
Sometimes, when live gets busy, it’s really hard to keep both exercise and healthy eating on the agenda. While I’m a lot less likely to change my cooking style, I do notice that when I ditch a run “because I’m busy”, I am more likely to have a late-night snack or indulge in a little dessert after lunch.
I love the idea of focusing on adding healthy food instead of restricting!
Emma says
I loved this post!!!! I am the same way…the less I move/exercise more likely I am to want to eat all the Reese’s or tortilla chips!! I love your mentality and I think it’s so great that you’re sharing it with us! Of course, we all have our over indulgent and busy weeks where exercise and 100% healthy meals are for sure a no-go, but I’m glad to see you realize that and I loved your tips on adding (more veggies, more movement, etc)! You mentioned a blog for another day about what you’re doing to make sure Hailey and Kaitlyn have healthy food relationships…I would love to read it, because I think nowadays it is soooo important to teach our kids that food is fuel and fun and life…not the enemy!!
Kate says
Great post. I think it is easy to think these things we feel like we “know better.”
I struggled with an eating disorder for many years and it was all about restriction (without hardly any indulgence). Now, I indulge often. I will say that sometimes I have thoughts of “I need to eat less sugar” or “I need to cut out the refined stuff” after a few days of heavy indulgence, but all it takes to get me out of that is an invite to lunch from a friend. Food to me is a lot about the experience and I’ve learned to trust my body to keep things balanced out.
jennifer says
I have never had an eating disorder but I would over indulge and then restrict – like I would “start my diet on Monday” and that means Sunday is like the last supper of junk food. I would always set myself up for failure. Lately I have been feeling the thoughts of – no carbs, increase protein, but I haven’t and instead I am doing the opposite which has not been good and I have been feeling terrible. I am glad you mentioned the idea of not cutting out but adding in – so clever! I have recently lost weight and people ask what I did and I tell them nothing crazy just eating what makes my body feel good. I seem to have forgotten that the past couple of weeks, so thanks for reminding me! 🙂
Danielle says
If I ever read a post that I really needed to read, it would be this one. I feel the exact way. I never want my kids to have the same dieting past as me. It is hard for me to choose intuitive eating and not want to restrict my calories to lose weight. I am going to try your tips and see if it helps me. Thank you for this post.
Brynn says
Yes, thank you for your honesty. I was in a bad place where I thought I had to workout (aka cardio for 60 min a day) and restrict for a year of my life. Once I focused on eating whole, healthy foods, I was a lot happier. So when I start to slide off that path, I give myself grace and focus on adding in, moving more, drinking water and remembering what fun I had (vs. negative thoughts on what I ate).
Courtney @ Sweet Tooth, Sweet Life says
I can absolutely, 100% relate to this! I, too, find that when I’m less active that I tend to eat more and make more poor choices than usual. And yes, I may be 37 weeks pregnant, but I’m totally in this stage at the moment. Exercise just isn’t really happening, and all I want are quick and convenient (and usually, sugar-laden) foods.
I’m sure once pregnancy is over (which is hopefully not too much longer…!) I’ll get back into a routine, but it can be so hard to get back in the swing of things, let alone, with a newborn here 🙂
Kathy says
Good post! Makes me think about what I say and do regarding food/diet. Thank you!! You’ve got it together. 🙂
Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says
I think it’s wonderful that you ensure your girls have a healthy role model, and that you can focus on adding and not subtracting. That’s a great way for me to think of it too. I know I’ve gone too much overboard on the sugar lately, but cutting back on fruit is kind of a ridiculous answer to that problem – a better answer is to pair it with more protein so I’m not eating my weight in berries and still feeling hungry!
Heather says
Really good post! I had very disordered eating when I was younger – I focused far too much time on reaching a certain number on a scale and was all about restricting. Now, I’m trying to find a better balance and have struggled with this since having kids. I can’t seem to lose the last few pounds and in turn enter a vicious cycle of eating my feelings because “what’s the point?” and then cycle back around to being super motivated and working hard, only to hit a rough patch again. As my kids get older, though, it’s very important to me that my daughter especially not see me negatively talk about my body and I want to teach them a healthier way to live.
Kathryn says
I loved this post as I was nodding along the whole time as I was reading it! I used to really struggle with disordered eating and was familiar with the starting again routine on a Monday. What helped me the most was a mental shift when I accepted, over a long time, my body type and making peace with it. Making that decision gave me the freedom to start focusing on health and how good food made me feel, rather than obsessing over weight. Getting into cooking and experimenting with making different recipes also really helped as a motivator for just enjoying good, balanced meals.
I normally handle indulgent days/weeks by knowing/planning when they’ll crop up – family events, date nights, etc, both so I can look forward to them but so that I can also plan to go grocery shopping the next day to stock up on healthy foods, or organise a walk or workout to get moving again. Something else that helps is not looking back at what I ate and getting anxious over it, but instead focusing on how I enjoyed that moment or day and recognising it as a special occasion. Just like we need rest from exercise, work etc, sometimes having a day or two off from our normal eating routine makes me realise how much I love my norm, which helps me see that the indulgences were a one off and not the beginning of the end!
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says
I love love love these tips Brittany! I’ve definitely been in the same boat and I agree that for me, being active and eating healthy go hand in hand. So when one falls off, the other usually does too. Not good! But I live the tip of adding in more healthy things (so there is less room for junk) rather than restricting the junk all together!
Katie says
Loved this post! Since you mentioned it, I would love to see a post on how you help your daughters have a healthy relationship with food. I have a 3 month old girl and I have already been reminding myself that I need to cut out the talk about my weight (right now it’s losing the baby weight) and just keep the focus on being healthy.
Hilary says
I think almost everyone can relate to this. I love your mentality to not necessarily eat less but to eat more of what makes you feel your best!
Erin L says
This is a great post. I’m struggling with my 4 year old and loving relatives/babysitters spoiling her rotten and excessively when I’m not there. She gets so much junk that I am viewed as a dragon because I don’t feed her that way. Any tips?! I’ve told them to give a BIT of a treat (maybe 1 strudel) not 4 strudels!!! And yet… They do it. How do u deal with well meaning friends?
Tips are welcome!!! 🙂
Parita says
When you describe your old self, I can relate 110%. While I never had a eating disorder, my habits and behaviors, as they related to food and exercise, were a bit extreme. I can honestly say that my eating habits are the best they’ve ever been, however, I’d be lying if I said that some of those restrictive thoughts never crossed my mind. The thing about it is that I know how dangerous my behavior once was, so I can stop those thoughts before they actually materialize into something. Great post!
Jen says
I can’t wait for your post on how to help your daughters have a healthy relationship with food!
Elizabeth says
Isn’t it sad that we are constantly thinking about our bodies and how food impacts it, and feeling guilty about over eating or eating junk? Then making sure we exercise to stay fit & burn calories. And when you see a really fit mom you think “wow, she looks great! I want to look like that”. Women (and people in general) in Europe are so much more fit but probably eat more bread, drink & smoke more than us! It’s just their active lifestyles that keep them slim. I wish I didn’t think about food & exercise so much and just lived in Europe of something (lol!). I’ve been really focused on getting into bikini shape lately and have tried to focus on the good foods but have definitely restricted (punished) my indulgences.
Catherine says
Wow, I totally related to this!! I was the exact same way in college (I’d love to meet the college kid who’s NOT like that!) and didn’t really change my ways until much later, sadly. It really changed when I started meal planning. I know that advice gets thrown around all over the place, but it helps SO much. That, and not bringing my husband grocery shopping with me! 🙂 He seriously adds at least $20 to the trip, and all in impulse-bought, terrible-for-you foods. He does not follow my list!
Restriction has never, ever been my thing, and dieting is just not something I can do because of it. Allowing myself to indulge here and there, but generally maintaining healthy eating habits has been the best way for me to stay in good health.
Melissa says
I am the same way! Eating well and being active seem to go hand in hand. When I was injured a few years ago, I ate poorly and didn’t make an effort to exercise in ways that I could. The result? Gaining a bunch of weight and feeling less healthy. I faced a few health concerns during that time. Maybe coincidence, maybe my body responding to my poorer choices. I’m getting my groove back, though. And I’m not into cutting anything out entirely. I enjoy my treats but try to keep them as treats, not daily occurrences.
Julia @ Drops of Jules says
As someone who had a battle with anorexia (that I still occasionally have to ward off), reading this gave me so much hope. Thank you for these little reminders that being healthy doesn’t have to be an all or nothing complexity. It just involves adding in bits of mindfulness to our days.
Jessie, FlusteredMom says
I have days where I could totally live off of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards from Dairy Queen. And I don’t struggle with it at all. Now if Dairy Queen was my next door neighbor, I’d have a problem.
Taylor says
I can definitely relate to this! If I have a big dessert or two, I really try to move on the next day and not dwell on it. This can certainly be hard sometimes, but I like the point you made about adding instead of subtracting. I just focus on eating a lot of healthy food and not depriving myself.
Ashley says
This post was exactly what I needed to hear this morning! Focusing on adding more instead of subtracting is such a better way of thinking about things. I often find myself in the same carousel of these thoughts of “starting clean” on Monday but knowing that I will fail after just a couple of days. Thanks for this post and your openness about these issues!
Caley says
I know this feeling all too well – I try so hard every day to try and not binge or eat emotional or disorderly!!
Mona says
Great post! I’ve struggled with disordered eating on and off for many years and my weight has gone up and down because of this. I definitely still struggle at times with emotional eating, but in the last couple of years things have definitely improved.
Nowadays eating well and staying active go hand in hand and thankfully I’m much better at warding off the negative thinking on days when I indulge.
Jill K says
Brittany, I would love for you to one day write that “post for another day” about setting your daughters up for healthy relationships with food. I am the middle of three girls, and I love my mother dearly, but she has struggled with her weight her whole life and her negative self-talk, constant comments about food and dieting, putting locks on the pantry and refrigerator (for herself) when we were children, etc. all contributed to what I now deal with mentally, which is a negative relationship with food and an obsession with weight, healthy eating and the spiral of indulgence vs. restriction.
I am not a mother yet, but I think so often about how I must somehow avoid making negative comments about my appearance and about food in front of my children one day, especially if I have daughters. I worry that it will be VERY difficult to refrain from, but know it is the key to keeping children’s heads free of negative thoughts on this topic.
Would love your thoughts! Love your blog — thanks!
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Jill, thank you so much for the extra nudge. I will put it at the top of my topics to write about list, especially since it is something I feel very strongly about. From your short description, I think you will do so well when you are a mom. I think the most important thing is to be mindful of the negative talk and behavior, but I’ll elaborate more in a post. Thank you so much for your input!