I’m not bold enough to announce I’m starting a new series or anything but I did ask for reader request topics on IG a week ago and got some really great input (thank you!). I typed them all out in a google doc and am going to just go through them in order, checking them off one by one. Hopefully one post a week!
There is everything from favorite quick dinners to the specifics of running short term rentals to planning family travel and more; lot of all over the place ideas, just how I like it. If you have a topic you’d like to add to the list, please send it to me either as a comment or as an email. I’m really looking forward to this!
Today’s topic: I’d love to hear how you take time for yourself with homeschooling/always being “on.”
Such a valid topic for all moms, right? No matter our specific situations, we juggle so many roles that finding time to be with or work on ourselves often seems like an afterthought.
To clarify upfront, these reader requests are not me here doling out advice, but just my experience with the topic. Please feel free to chime in with your experience and/or advice in the comments. I’ll be reading them!
So, time for myself. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m probably not the best at this, but it has gotten easier as my kids have gotten older (10 and 8) and more self sufficient. They are not as physically needy as they were as babies and toddlers, though the emotional neediness at times certainly tries to make up for it. 😉
Here are a few things I do consistently that help ensure that my cup is full:
- Wake up early. Whether I use the time to blog, clean up the house, or prep for our day, having time to enjoy the quiet and be alone with my thoughts and not needed by anyone starts my day off on a peaceful note. Usually I can count on being solo from 6:00-8:00 with computer time being 6:15-7:15, then a Sniffari with Finley until 7:45, then getting dressed so I’m mentally and physically ready to hit the ground running with the kids. Even if I don’t want to get up with my alarm, I’m always glad I do.
- Exercise. Exercise for me is equally beneficial for my physical and mental health. It’s an hour break to get outside, move my body, and lift weights. The kids know this time is sacred and that they’re on Finley duty. When David isn’t on crutches, this also serves as our time together to chat about things going on in our worlds. That fills my cup.
- A heated time out. If I really need an escape, I’ll go take a bath or get in the Sauna Blanket. It’s a self imposed time out that I can use to read or listen to a podcast or just breathe without anyone asking me anything.
Bedtime used to be on the list, but we’re getting to a phase where the kids’ bedtimes and mine are fairly close. They usually head to bed around 8:30 and pop their heads out intermittently to use the bathroom or fill up their waters, settling down by about 9:00. We go to bed around 9:30/10:00 so while it is a great hour to decompress, it’s not much and I’m usually just zoned out, worn out from the day.
However, being a wife and mom is what I’ve always wanted in life so in the moments I feel stretched too thin, I go to gratitude. Not the gut punching sentiments of “soon enough they’ll be grown and gone,” but just the simple “I’m living my dream.” And then perhaps I suggest watching a movie and soak in the big hugs and cheers I receive and savor the couple hours to mentally check out 😉
Related: How I Handle the Hard Days of Homeschooling
OK, please tell me how you find time to fill your cup!
Do you get enough alone time?
Were there ages/phases that felt more demanding to you?
Amber says
I’m also a homeschooling mom to little ones and I get up really early to workout and read. As nice as it is to sleep in at times I find that I am much more alert and joyful when I have that time in the morning so that’s what motivates me to get out of bed! I also remembering reading from “M is for Mama” how important it is to see that “me time” as a blessing and not a “deserved time” so that even on days when I don’t have it or don’t have enough I find gratitude in what I did have rather than feeling annoyed if it was cut short, due to early kid wakeups etc.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh that’s good; thank you for sharing!
I have slept in at times and though the sleep is nice, I end up spending the whole day feeling off or behind because of my lack of morning time. What a difference it makes!
Rebecca says
I struggle with this because I’m introverted and even as a kid myself, needed quiet alone time. With my 5 year old home for the summer, it can be hard to get quiet during the 2 1/2 year old’s nap time. They also wake up very early (often 5:30 when my husband gets up) and I don’t sleep well, so the standard “wake up early!” advice doesn’t work for us. My daughter is also always “play with me!” and my son is rather clingy, which doesn’t help. I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but do find it harder to be very present with them if I haven’t had a bit of quiet.
Karen says
As a fellow introvert and a homeschooling mom of four (oldest is 22 now! How?) I can tell you it gets better. When I had two that were that young and close together, if the youngest was napping, that was “quiet time” for the older one–he was encouraged to stay in his room and read/play quietly. Bedrooms always only had stuffed animals and books, no noisy toys. I also had some early risers, so my “me time” was often, if not during nap, then it was in the evenings after they had gone to bed. But now my youngest is 11 and I seem to have a lot of me time opportunities, so again, it will get better! You’re in the weeds right now, but it won’t always be like this.
Kelli says
The first year is super demanding for me with breast feeding but I also think those young toddler years of making sure they aren’t going to hurt themselves.
Exercise is super important to me. When I can I love acupuncture and a date night. I definitely don’t get enough time for myself with kids being 4 and 1 but I love the idea of telling myself “you’re living your dream!” Because that is so true for me too.
Brittney says
I love that you ended this post on such a positive note! Reframing how we think about anything is a game changer. “I have to…” turns into “I get to…” I was so sad when my oldest went to Kindergarten. She felt so tiny and young still and her being away from me for 7 hours felt unnatural to me – and her little sister missed her too! Eventually our younger one went to school, but she didn’t get much of that experience due to the pandemic. Still though, I got used to having huge chunks of time to myself to exercise, run errands, wander HomeGoods & Target, pretend to clean…😂 Even though I didn’t like the feeling of the girls being away from me for so long, I had adapted to it so the transition from a mom with two kids in school all day to a homeschooling mom (adding in another babe to the mix) left me feeling like I had zero time to myself. At first it felt frustrating, but I knew I had to shift my thinking – I get to spend my time with these precious little lives that God has tasked and blessed me with! I still appreciate quiet time for sure…kids talk A LOT and though I love those sweet little voices, I need a moment to hear my own thoughts sometimes haha. But shifting my thinking, like you suggested, whenever I feel impatient or tired, allows me to refocus on the sweet faces infront of me and look at and listen to them with renewed eyes and ears. Now, instead of “needing” 7 hours a day to “recharge,” I enjoy the time that the girls are playing together upstairs or watching tv or crafting. I also stay up way too late after everyone in the house has gone to sleep – that’s my real “me time” 😂😂
Brittany Dixon says
“Kids talk a LOT” Oh gosh I feel this on a deep level. I remember wondering why my mom would drive in the car with no music and now I get it- she was savoring the silence- haha! But you’re so right and I admire your perspective, especially adding a new sweet babe to the mix! I think I’ve forgotten just how demanding those days are. 🙂
Joanna says
Brittany, I love this post and perfect timing for me because I just sat down from a tiring day. I’m terrible at carving out time for me. I wake up early but our boys (4 and 7) don’t really sleep in. So then I end up staying up way too late in the evening to get that time. I agree with you about feeling gratitude, it sometimes takes me a minute since I’m so focused on the million things I have to get done lol. But turning to gratitude helps me destress and be thankful of my blessings. My husband sent me this today and it helped: If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Brittany Dixon says
Ohh… that sentence is good! And so true. I find anything I struggle with externally is usually due to my expectations of the situation. Once I can bring myself to take a deep breath and readjust my expectations, it makes the biggest difference (currently thinking about Disney and how David has a super sprained ankle- expectation adjustment needed! :)). Thanks for sharing!