David came home yesterday around 2:00 to find me sprawled on the couch and staring at the ceiling. Kaitlyn was taking her piano lesson upstairs and Hailey was starting on her final draft of her King Midas paper. And I… was just staring at the ceiling.
I often share how much I love homeschooling because it’s absolutely true. I love teaching and learning beside my kids. I love our flexibility of schedule. I love having conversations with them about life skills and more complex worldly issues alongside multiplication. I love watching them light up when we go down a rabbit hole to learn more about a topic that interests them.
However, since two things can be true at the same time, it’s also absolutely true that it takes a lot of energy and effort. And there are days that I have wondered what it would be like if they were both at traditional school all day… what would I do with all that glorious time?!
I’m speaking to this through the lens of homeschooling, but I’m pretty sure it’s just parenting in general. And whenever I have a day that takes a lot out of me (ie: yesterday), I give myself a pep talk. The main gist of the pep talk is this: anything of great value takes great effort.
I’m super proud of my kids. I know you other parents feel me on this. Yes, they are a little quirky and silly, but they are also curious, kind, hard working, empathetic, and respectful kids. The fact is that raising good people takes effort. There aren’t really many shortcuts to a worthwhile goal, so if it feels hard or draining to you some days, too, it’s because it is hard and draining.
It’s also incredibly rewarding. I know you parents feel me on this, too.
So whether you have babies in diapers, teens with more grown up challenges, a tween like me, or shoot I don’t know, maybe us adult kids are just as challenging (mom- thoughts?), just know that it feels hard because it is hard. It’s also one of the most important and worthwhile pursuits on the planet.
We will fall short at times because we are human but we will be successful because we keep showing up and putting in the effort.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk/personal pep talk. 😜 I promise not every single one of these “daily diary” October posts will be an introspective journey; it’s just been an unusually mentally demanding Monday and Tuesday this week!
And now, goal check-in:
More presence and patience? Yes. I think that’s what wore me out.
More time outside? Yes. We did reading on the porch, went for our morning mile, backyard swinging in the afternoon, and walking with David.
Less phone? I didn’t do so great on this front. There was definitely some mindless scrolling of news and Instagram. Again, I think I see it as a mental break but it doesn’t end up energizing me so I need to create a new habit.
Read a novel? Nope. New habit- reach for a book instead of my phone. I did that as a new year goal and it worked great; time to reinstate it!
Less alcohol? 1 drink. While cooking dinner. I feel like vodka sounds hardcore, but I sometimes just like it more than wine. I pour about 1-1.5 ounces over ice with lemon and olives, then add water until it’s about half full.
Meditate? I did. I used Headspace then cancelled my free trial. I’m switching to Insight Timer which so many people recommended!
Tracking grocery budget? No money spent.
Karianne says
It is so refreshing to hear this discussed. I don’t have tweens yet, but my homeschooling family (3 boys) is in the process of shifting from “little kid” stage to “middle kid” stage (they are 3, 5, and 7). I love that they are close, but the sibling dynamics can be intense sometimes and there’s really no escaping it. I had a “mental check out” last weekend because it is exhausting being the cruise director.
However, I can also completely relate to everything you said about putting in the effort throughout the highs and lows in each of whatever stages you happen to be in. I think investing in relationships and helping each other become better people is always messy but always worth it.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh I love how you said that: always messy but always worth it. So true of life! <3
Jenni says
I love all of these October posts! I miss the old style of blogging and this makes me so happy! I relate so much to burn out and finding balance. I hope this month helps you!
Laura says
Go easy on yourself- I’m certain that homeschooling moms are a special breed! Also, I see laying on the couch and staring at the ceiling as not a bad thing; just something that is needed at the moment. And I agree, most things that are worth it take effort! I often think of my behaviors and lifestyle choices as how it affects my whole family, including myself. It’s always going to be a give and take situation, giving to my students and my own family, and taking a bit of free time whenever possible, whether that means napping on the couch with my cat like yesterday afternoon, or hitting the trails for an epic workout. When I had a very rare day off on Monday (from work and kids were in school) and I told my 8 year old, his first reaction was “no fair!”. And my response was- “no, it is fair. I do a lot for many people, and I deserve a break also”, to which he responded “you’re right, mom”. And I’ll tell you what, no one has the motivation and drive like a mom on a true day off! I wouldn’t want it every day, because I thrive on the rush and energy I get from teaching at my school (800+ middle schoolers), but damn if I don’t enjoy a day off! Anyhow, I say moms should take any opportunity to crash/ checkout/ run up a mountain (whatever you need in that moment); I do it all the time and always feel better for it 🙂
I’m loving your daily posts, and I hope you are also enjoying writing them!
Brittany Dixon says
I love that you got a well deserved day off! I’m like you, usually thriving on the energy of going, but that makes the days off that much more sweet 🙂
And yes, I am enjoying writing them; thanks for reading them 🙂
Becky says
I LOVE this! I have been working on being more present and patience with my kids and it can be draining, especially when they are bickering. But I always remind myself it is worth it!!!
Also, my kids are in school full-time, but I choose to work mostly ‘full-time’ hours–subbing (mostly high school) and teaching phy ed at my kids school (elementary). I sometimes wonder if I would be a better a mom if I cut down on hours and had time more “free time” to run errands, clean the house and be more present once the kids were at home. However, at this time, financially it gives us a little more income to do the ‘extra’ activities with the kids that we couldn’t do when I was a stay-at-home mom. Plus, subbing at the high school gives me an inside look at what to expect in the upcoming years and when my daughter starts there next year. Sorry, I went on a little tangent, but this has been on my mind lately as well.
Also, if you find something besides scrolling on the phone in order to ‘disconnect’ let me know! I have tried picking up a novel, but sometimes it requires too much brainwork as well;-)
Brittany Dixon says
I think it’s so funny how ALL of us wonder “maybe I’d be a better mom if I … XYZ.” It must just come with the parenting territory because when I read all you do I’m like WOW, that’s amazing! I love that you’re getting a sneak peek into what your daughter can expect for next year, too. I think that would be really helpful 🙂 Thanks for your comment!