The title sounds almost like a sponsored father’s day post, doesn’t it? This post is not brought to you by Hallmark. Instead, it’s brought to you by a tired mom (ahem, me).
Last night started off really strangely. At 10:45 I heard Hailey screaming which has never happened before. I jumped out of bed and ran to her, where I found her to be incredibly upset… asking incessantly for a piece of paper so she could draw a princess. Huh? Something here told me that she wasn’t quite fully awake so I held her and told her everything was ok. Eventually she calmed down and curled back up in bed. I had just crept back into our bed when I heard her scream again. I was shaken up and googling night terrors on my phone as David hopped up to go to her. He took her to the potty then settled her down. In hushed whispers I asked what the heck was that? as we drifted back to sleep.
Then a mere 3 hours after that, more screaming. This time from our littlest.
See, I’ve created a bad habit the past few weeks of nursing Kaitlyn whenever she wakes up. It started off around 5:00 am, which was an ok time for me to get up anyway, so I gave into it. It’s not that big of a deal I told myself. It was a quick 15 minutes, then I’d get a jumpstart on my day. But now it’s turning into all different times of night and she hasn’t really been hungry during those times. She’ll nurse lazily, then I’d take forever to go back to sleep.
So call it cruel if you must, but last night when I heard her, the desperate-for-a-full-night’s-sleep side of me decided to let her fuss for a little bit. She needed to learn to self-soothe, right? Hailey was sleeping straight through without a peep at this age. It’s better for Kaitlyn. You know, all those things tired mothers tell themselves.
Well, spoiler alert, she didn’t settle herself down and instead worked herself up, which, again, being tired and nonsensical, brought me to tears. Do I go to her now? Does that teach her just to cry longer? She won’t let me hold her without nursing so… should I just ‘hold strong?’ Someone just tell me what to do. And more tears.
David, bless him, sat up and told me ‘I got her.’ And he did. He changed her, bounced her until she fell asleep, then put her back in the crib.
…Spoiler alert, she woke back up shortly thereafter and started screaming again so I went in, nursed her and viola, lazy nursing and back to sleep so clearly I haven’t solved any bad habits yet, but that’s not the point.
Every sensible side of me now, after an ever so fulfilling 3.5 hours of sleep, tells me I was being ridiculous. David has a full day of work today and now is going on the same 3.5 hours of sleep that I am, as once 4:00 am hit he decided he was up and started on work rather than try to snooze for another hour before his alarm went off.
And trust me, I’ve already beat myself up and told myself everything I fear you are thinking- children aren’t supposed to be convenient. Drink some coffee and deal with it like everyone else. Babies cry for a reason; are you heartless? You’re being dramatic. Be grateful that a little less sleep than usual is your biggest problem right now. You’ll miss those middle of the night snuggles one day. Trust me, I know I will, but right now we’ve all been running on fumes and I desperately just wanted one full night of sleep.
Mom guilt is the worst.
These are the times that don’t look so shiny on the blog, but they happen. I’m not proud of my middle of the night meltdown. I don’t like that I let my sweet baby cry for a bit. I don’t enjoy shouting it out there that I can’t function on less than 8 hours of sleep. And I certainly I don’t want to spark a diatribe on sleep habits. But I tell you this whiny sob story with a purpose… to attest that picking a man to marry that is a good dad and a true partner in parenthood is invaluable.
David doesn’t make me begrudgingly poke at him until he gets up. He embraces being a dad and the inconvenience and sleeplessness that comes with it at times. He supports me even when I’m overtired and illogical. And I am so grateful for him.
So there’s my very public love letter to David, which is sure to embarrass him.
But just to make sure it does, check out this sweet picture… aww…
And with that, I’m off to make some tea, put on my big girl panties and get on with the day. Now where is that under-eye concealer…
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables says
Oh friend. I’ve so been there. Since dealing with infertility, it makes me feel even worse!! What a blessing it is to have a partner in it with you and willing to take some of the weight off your shoulders!!
Lindsey @ Simply Lindsey says
Such a sweet post!!
Christina says
Sounds like you BOTH are great parents, and have a wonderful partnership! I hear you on the sleep woes…for some reason, my daughter (3) has started waking in the middle of the night screaming “I want the light on!!” Out of desperation for a good night sleep, I stumble out of bed and turn the hall light on for her….and now it happens every night (I fully admit to allowing this to become a habit). Sigh. Oh well, this too shall pass (right??) Hang in there!
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, I might be tempted to just flip all her lights on before going to bed if I were you! But it sounds like you’ve perfectly the sleep stumble to the light switch, so that’s impressive 😉
And that’s what I keep telling myself too- This is just a phase and it will pass… some days easier said than done!
kathy says
Don’t let that guilt overcome you. we’ve all been there in some form or fashion. Today is a new day, tired or not. You will get through it. Wishing you a beautiful sunshiny day!
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says
You got me all teary over here, Brittany! 😉 David is such a wonderful partner, as you are to him! It’s so great that you guys have each other! The girls are lucky to have such wonderful parents 🙂 Don’t beat yourself up over little things!
Lisa O says
Big hugs to you, I’ve certainly shed a tear when I’m desperate to catch just a couple straight hours sleep and my baby keeps waking. And it is just so lonely when you’re up by yourself, it makes all the difference when you have someone by your side. Even though my baby seems to only settle by nursing now (bad habits here too aaaand I’m a second time mum who said I would be better this time!), it makes a difference having my husband just ask if I’m ok & a sympathetic couple. Feeling like you’re a part of a team makes such a difference hey! Hope you have a lovely, full night’s sleep Brittany. From a tired mama who totally understands xx
Brittany Dixon says
Lisa you are so right! It’s that middle of the night feeling of being the only one in the world awake (I told you, dramatic I am!). And I couldn’t agree more that just hearing supportive words goes so far. Sometimes I’ll crawl back in bed and David will whisper ‘super mom’ and it’s all it takes for me keep going. Love that you have such a great man by your side too! And hopefully we will all get a little more sleep as the days go by <3
Allison says
I really needed to read this today. Thank you!
Lisa O says
*sympathetic cuddle
Eileen says
i love your blog anyway but especially this post- especially this morning. We are having sleep troubles of our own and I’m pregnant with number 2 and have had several recent meltdowns and have been wondering how we are ever going to do 2! My husband willingly helps at night too even though I don’t have to get up for work (per se, raising kids is work too). So this was inspiring to read and reminds me to be super grateful he’s happy to help (even if he does things differently than I do ha ha)
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, yes, husbands have their own way of doing things, don’t they!? I surrendered long ago to letting him handle it how he wants to as long as he is handling it. I hope you are feeling well and don’t worry about handling two- you will do better than you think! Mommy-mode kicks in and you just do it. Thanks for your comment!
Erin says
Awwww….I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old so I know exactly how you feel. As a mom I think the best lesson I have learned is no judgment. I will never judge another mother for what she is doing because we are all just trying to do our best. I have a hard time with crying it out as well but I learned with my three year old that it was the ONLY way she would learn to sleep through the night. I hope you never feel guilty for trying to be the best mom you can.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh yeah, judgement is so worthless because you really don’t know the situation of another mom. H cried it out too and it was painful, but then it switched her into an awesome sleeper. K just seems a bit more, shall we say, determined. Sounds nicer than stubborn, right? 😉
Parita @ myinnershakti says
LOVE this post! You and David are such a great team. As you know, I don’t have kids yet, but I can’t wait to see Vishnu become a dad. It makes me smile every time I think about it!
John J. says
“And this to shall pass”! Hang in there. Good for David! Glad he doesn’t make the “mistakes” attached here. You both chose well!
Brittany Dixon says
I was amiss to not honor my own awesome, involved dad when writing this (I blame sleep deprivation ;)). Thanks for being such a wonderful dad and setting the bar high- Love you! <3
John J. says
Aw shucks. Thanks, but you were easy, and fun, to be involved with. Your mother deserves most of the kudos – as do you with your kids.
Ashley S. says
I feel you, I’ve been there. My son wasn’t a great sleeper and still at times has his nights. Like right now, he is sick and gets so congested in the night. I, like you, was so tired last night my husband went in for the three (or four?) wake ups. I went in as well once– we were together to check on his cough. And my husband got up way before me this morning and went into a full day at work. And while I usually try to handle the night wake ups, my son does ask for daddy because he knows he is there and he won’t be when he wakes up in the morning. Sometimes kiddos (and moms) need daddy to jump in there. I feel the guilt too, but I love how you turned that negative into a positive– appreciation for Dads!!!
Caitlin says
Oh girl, thank you for this post this morning. I’m struggling with some working mom guilt so it helps to see the mom guilt goes all around. It’s a new day, lets’ start fresh 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Lucky for us, mom guilt knows no boundaries- haha! Hope today is a good one for you!
Jenn says
I could have written this entire post! I feel you! Hope we all get some sleep soon!
jenn says
Third baby and I knew better than to nurse allnight, but that is the bad habit we created, and he’s 15mths! It has to stop one day right? Lol
Brittany Dixon says
It will stop one day… but by then we’ll be worrying about where they are all night 😉
I followed almost all the ‘rules’ with H, but being that K is probably my last, I’ve slacked off a bit on nursing to sleep/etc… so yup, I’ve totally created it but kind of love it at the same time…
Jen says
Girl, I feel you!
No cryi-it-out or sleep debate from me–if you have to let her cry some to teach her that you’re not going to feed her at all times of the night when you know she’s not hungry, you do it. I am HORRIBLE without enough sleep, and, if you’ll recall, the first six months with my baby girl were incredibly stressful in that regard. I finally feel like a human again now that she sleeps through the night!
Hugs, it will all get better (until they’re keeping us up all night worrying about the latest guy they’re dating…)
Brittany Dixon says
Ahh! Way to give me some perspective- I’d totally rather worry about missing a few hours of sleep then BOYS they are dating! Haha, oh man, this parenting gig is crazy.
Brynn says
Wonderful post! Lets hear it for the dads!
Jessica @Myhealthypassion.com says
sweet post! I don’t know how you moms do it, but your doing it and your doing it AWESOMELY!!!!!!!!! (Is that a word lol)
Kathleen Ojo @ My Ojos says
Don’t feel too bad – we all have those very “human” moments under stress, especially baby-induced stress. My husband LITERALLY had to pick me up off the floor one night while I was sobbing next to my daughter’s crib – I was back at work full time, she was waking up 5-6x a night, and I just cracked! You’re right though, this is how you tell a truly good man from all the mediocre stock out there. A guy who loves you at your worst and thoroughly embraces the “partner” aspect of marriage and raising kids? Priceless.
Brittany Dixon says
5-6 times a night while working full time? I would have cracked too! And I always heard your spouse being called a ‘partner’ but having kids really gave it a whole new meaning. Thanks goodness for the good ones!
Marnie @ SuperSmartMama says
Oh the sleep struggles!! My husband is all ready to start sleep training and baby #2 andshe’s just turned 2 months! But I understand the mom guilt: if you spoil them, you feel guilty. If you’re too strict, you feel guilty. Thank goodness for David!!
Christine says
I needed this post today, I have felt the same exact way. With my little one sick these days I’m running on no sleep and depending on coffee. But I said to my husband that I am so grateful to be in the parenting trenches (right not it feels lil the trenches with battling RSV) with him. Lately I’ve only been getting three hours of sleep and when he sees on on a verge of a meltdown he’s the one to say I got it and let me sit back down. Some days are just harder than others and mom guilt is the worst, but at the end of the day nothing is better then being a mama. Thank you for your honesty in this post, it is refreshing and relatable.
Brittany Dixon says
I’m sorry to hear you are battling RSV with your little one! I hope it passes quickly and you get some good sleep soon. I also love hearing how many awesome husband/dads are out there. Glad you have a great one!
Marjorie @APinchOfHealthy says
Oddly enough, mine cried out in his sleep 3 or 4 times last night, which he rarely does. But he appeared to still be asleep, so I did not go up to his room.
Yaaaay David! And we all go through those exact feelings of guilt you describe. Good thing for that under eye concealer…and coffee! 🙂
Tamara @ A Side Of Dessert says
Such an awesome post! It amazing to have such a fabulous partner by your side!
Cassie says
Ugh! nights like that are so hard! I am going through the same thing with my son who just turned one. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes the will self soothe back to sleep, but if it is 4 am or later, he just cries and cries and can’t be settled back down unless I nurse him. He cries harder if I pick him up and just try to calm him down, he then lazily nurses for 5-10 minutes, takes a pacifier and goes back to sleep…
Monica says
Sleep deprivation is ugly. My 22 month old STILL doesn’t sleep through the night and I still give her a bottle to put her back down. I have NO idea how to stop this, but her doctor doesn’t seem concerned and says to feed her if she wakes up because she’s on the skinny side, so… yeah.
There is no “one size fits all” for parenting, so don’t beat yourself up. You are doing a great job. We all just do the best we can!
Jodi says
I pretty much have spent most if my life sleep deprived and these last 3.5 hrs are just icing on the cake. I find I definitely am wayyyyyy more sensitive when I only get a few hours of sleep ( which is sadly way more than I like to admi…) yesterday I left for work and was feeling exhausted, beat down and emotionally done. Decided to treat myself to human bean on way to work and ordered my usual, asking as usual for them to make it cool enough so I could drink it right away. ( my usual order) I glad a huge gulp and relaize the girl forgot to cool it down and I burned my entire mouth, tongue and throat… I literally cried to work, recognizing this too shall pass, but seriously of all days!!! I made up for it last nite w a few glasses of wine….whatever it takes, whatever it takes…. Hope you get some rest!! Or wine.
Brittany Dixon says
I hope The Bean hooked you up with some extra chocolate coffee beans for that! Hugs! You’re a great mama!
Lauren says
Oh Brittany, I loved this post. While I am so sorry you haven’t been sleeping well, can I just say how comforting it is to hear I’m not alone?! C has never been a great sleeper and it can be really hard, especially as I think of adding a newborn to the mix in May. I am super grateful for a supportive, hands on husband and dad too, but like you, I want to make sure he gets some sleep when he wakes up crazy early and has long physically demanding days. Anyways, I’m praying this little guy is blessed with the ability to sleep much much better than his big sis!
Elizabeth says
I never comment on blog posts, but I probably needed to read this more than you needed to write it … not a good night for us either. But like you said … time to re-apply my concealer and grab another cup of coffee before my next meeting.
Brittany Dixon says
Hope you’re making it through this day and may we both have better sleep tonight! <3
Elizabeth Evans says
You’re right, mom guilt is the worst!!! You’ll figure all of this out in a few short weeks and then you’ll be dealing with a new set of issues : ) Not trying to be Debbie Downer, but I’m a realist. I’ve had so many moments like this with my 2 little ones and the best thing to do is just laugh… because it’s crazy how crazy it gets sometimes!!!!! You’re lucky to have a supportive husband/baby daddy. Hopefully you guys have a good day!
LaToya says
Beautiful picture!!! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Our babies are only babies for a little while and you nursing her at night won’t turn her into an axe murderer. 🙂 We (as parents) do the best we can and God does the rest.
Beth says
No nees to feel guilt! All moms have been there! I’ve got an almost 3 year old and am 8 month old and I know just how u feel. You’re an awesome mom and wife and u had a moment! Were both lucky to have such supportive understanding and loving hubbies! Couldn’t be the superstar moms we R without them! Give yourself a break 🙂 hugs!!
Amy @ Elephant Eats says
Aw, glad David is such a sweet and supportive husband 🙂 I’m also glad to know I’m not the only mom overthinking every decision I make (it’s certainly much harder to think when running on fumes!). My husband sleeps through the wailing on the monitor so unfortunately I don’t think I’ll ever be able to rely on him for night time check-ins. I’m running on no more than 2 straight hours of sleep for the last 5 months and I definitely need to fix this soon, especially since I work full time…My baby actually doesn’t wake up to nurse, but he has bad reflux and wakes up just plain uncomfortable!
Brittany Dixon says
It’s so easy to over think everything at 2am, isn’t it? I hope you get some sleep soon! <3
Jenny P says
I love this post, and wholeheartedly agree. Let’s hear it for the dads! And it’s nice to hear real stories of middle of the night struggles. It helps to feel like you aren’t so alone! Those night demons are the worst…
Daddy Fatpants says
Sounds like what any REAL dad should do. Why is it up to the mom to get up in the night (except for nursing of course.) I realized you don’t have a real job, live in a mansion; IE not the real world. Christ, get a grip. He didn’t do anything spectacular. Doesn’t he work like 80 hours a week? How often is he NOT there for you?
And to all the moms out there whose husbands sleep through kid waking–give em a kick to the sack once in a while and tell them to man up.
Jessica says
Looong comment ahead, haha.
I have a 2.5 month old son and an almost 8 month old daughter and I understand what you are going through!
With my son there was No Question that we would have to do some sleep training. He never napped. I NEVER let him cry or fuss at night, not even for a minute, and by 7 months old he was waking up every hour inconsolable because he didn’t know how to go back to sleep. He didn’t want to nurse or be rocked, he just wanted to sleep and didn’t know how. So we sleep trained and it was incredible for everyone.
This time around, I knew better. I put my daughter down drowsy but awake and she was a decent sleeper and always fell asleep on her own. However, as we approached 7 months she was waking more and more. I nursed her every time. SOME nights she would sleep through, or only wake once, so I knew she was capable of sleeping, she just didn’t.
My husband works nights so I didn’t have any help. With her eating three times a night and all day long I could not keep up with her. I was getting 5 hours of broken sleep a night at the most, feeling weak all the time while trying to be a mom to my son and a wife to my husband. I finally sort of had a mental break down. Her pediatrician told me to cut out the night feedings. Since she wasn’t a TERRIBLE sleeper like my son I felt so bad doing any sleep training…but I had to for my mental sanity and my physical health.
On his day off my husband took the monitor, gave me ear plugs, and told me to go to bed. I slept for the first time in 7 months. The next day she started sleeping through the night, eating better during the day, and I feel like I am alive again.
Long story short, I understand the guilt sooo much!! But getting enough sleep is good for mom and for baby, and for the family. Hang in there, and do what feels right to you. (And definitely make the decision during the day, not in the middle of the night.) <3
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much for sharing Jessica! I know I need to be a bit more consistent in my approach for Kaitlyn’s sake and I do think it might take a little bit of crying, like it did for Hailey. I love your tip about making the decision during the day, not at night. I have 0 logic at 2am!
Ana says
You’re doing so good, momma! I don’t have a lot of hope to offer, just wanted to tell you you’re not alone! 😉 I have two girls too: a 3 year old and 15 month old. And I’ve been in your boat since #2 was born. My 3 year old was an AMAZING sleeper and still is. 12-13 hours a night since 2 months old and long, consistent naps. But my 15 month old, since day one, has never been that good. Her “great” night of sleep even now is only 9-10 hours. I had to nurse her randomly throughout the night until she was 1yo which is mind boggling to me because I didn’t have to do that with #1. Even now, I don’t have to feed her but she STILL randomly wakes up at night and there’s no rhyme or reason to it. Yet somehow, she’s still happy and go with the flow all day even though she sleeps less than her sister. It’s so hard as an over-analyzer, especially in the middle of the night, when you feel all alone, to not think “what is wrong with her? why doesn’t she sleep like her big sister? what did I do wrong today? why can’t i help her be on a schedule” and I still don’t have the answer to those darn questions! I just learned maybe there’s nothing wrong and she’s just a different kid and some nights will be great, and some will be awful (dramatic 😉 ). Love your blog!
Brittany Dixon says
Oh my gosh ANa, everything you aid is exactly how it is here too! K is so happy and easy going despite her broken sleep and I keep thinking it’s my fault for lack of schedule or whatever- haha! Sorry you have to deal with some of the craziness too but so glad that I’m not alone 😉 Thanks!!
Kristi says
Just wanted to mention that my now 2 yr old was a very “determined” baby as well. Crying it out (especially in the middle of the night) did nothing but get him worked up and it took him twice as long to settle. Whereas nursing would quiet him and get us all back to sleep within 10 mins. It was kind of frustrating because all my friends babies were easy going and sleeping through the night at 6 months, etc. Once I settled it in my mind that he just needed the extra comfort (not necessarily the nutrition) it took some stress off and I stopped resenting my baby for waking me up (#realtalk), lol. Over time he pushed the wake up time later and later and by 11 mos was sleeping through the night.
And now at 2 he has also started randomly waking up with what seem like bad dreams and saying nonsense. The most amusing was when he woke screaming “Pineapple!! I need pineapple!!’
Brittany Dixon says
Pineapple! Haha, it makes you wonder what could possibly going through their sweet little minds, huh??
It’s so hard to not compare babies, especially when I have two of my own that are so different, but I’m learning to just go with the flow… some days better than others 😉
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey says
I love dads! Seriously, I don’t know what I would do without John.
I was right there with you when my girls were waking up and I knew they weren’t really hungry but I would feed them anyway just to get them to go to sleep. It was really bad around 10 months, then again at 12 months. I finally realized each stage is just that – a stage – and it will pass. They’ll go back to sleeping through the night once it has all passed. Is she going through a wonder week/growth spurt?
Per H, my goddaughter has recently been waking up (she’s the same age as H) and has been screaming that she has spiders crawling all over her. Definitely night terrors!
Sabrina says
I hope tonight is better for you!
Raffi had night terrors around age 2. It was a tough time because there isn’t much we can do except make sure they don’t get hurt falling out of bed or something. I hope it was just a one-off for Hailey and she’s back to herself tonight.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
You are an awesome mom. And your girls have a great dad. 🙂
Christy says
Sounds like a wild night! My almost three year old was up last night as well, so random. once I finally got her settled and back down, my 1.5 year old (who usually sleeps until at least 8am) was up for the day at 5:30. Just another day in the life!
Please please please don’t feel bad about sleep training. I know people have strong feelings against it, but it has been a miracle in our home…besides last night of course! My second child was up all hours of the night until she was seven months old. I’d finally had enough. She cried for one hour the first night, two minutes the second, and never again. She now sleeps about 14 hrs a night and is the happiest, silliest, and cuddliest baby ever. She loves to sleep and loves her crib! And I (mostly) have my sanity back.
Good luck tonight! Hope you get to catch up on that missed sleep.
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for the comment Christy! And the encouragement to sleep train. We let H cry it out for one night when she was little and that is all it took and she’s a fabulous sleeper. I’ve been softer with K because she’s a peanut, but since she isn’t even eating when she wakes up now, I’m getting a little tougher about it. Maybe this weekend we’ll give it a shot. Thank you!!
Christina says
love this post!!
Irina says
You are doing good. Some kids just train better than others. Hang in there, you know that eventually all this will pass and you get the full night of sleep! With my oldest (3 years old), I did some consistent sleep training, and she was a decent sleeper, but she was really skinny, so I nursed her at night (x2, then x1) till she was probably 10mo. Then she just dropped her feeding, there was some fussiness, some crying, some crying it out, then she was sleeping through the night at about 12 mo. There are times when she woke up, teething, sick, etc, but for the most part we are doing OK. With the baby, I was not as strict on sleep training. She would wake up 3-4 times a night and nurse, then go back to bed. This schedule was probably till about 10mo. She was a lot more determined and I was a lot less motivated. It was easier to nurse for a few minutes, than listen to crying baby for 20+ minutes, and I did not want her to wake up my entire house. Eventually, I started sleeping on the floor next to the crib, and when she would wake up, I would pat her down, saying night-night every time (no nursing) and being very gentle. This lasted for about a week, she got the message, and started to wake up once to nurse and then sleep. It was a hard week… I work full time, so I was a zombi for a while at work, but now it seems like it was not so bad… Eventually, she just dropped the nurse and was sleeping through around 12 months as well. She weaned at about the same time – both my girls lost all interest in the boob by 12 months. We just recently put the kids in the same room (nap and night) and it is work in progress… but everything eventually gets better. You know it does. It is not your first rodeo, you got it 🙂 It is hard to be on during the day when you have not had any sleep (3.5 hrs is no sleep in my book), so pat yourself on the back for getting the blog post out and getting through the day! Baby steps, baby steps 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much for sharing and the encouraging words Irina! It’s comforting to hear that there are so many of us moms out their navigating the sleep wars the best that we can 😉
Emily says
Kudos to you for keeping parenthood real! I don’t have kids yet but I sure still know they’re not just cuddles and smiles (though they’re that too hehe). It’s refreshing to read about vulnerability as we’re only human. I only wish I can be half as good a mother as you and marry half as amazing a partner <3
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you for such kind words Emily! It’s definitely not all cuddles and smiles, though those certainly help get through the more challenging times 🙂 And not to sound like an old grandma giving advice, haha, but definitely never settle because when you find the right person to be your partner through life, it makes all the difference! <3