There is a phrase that says “make sure you’re disappointing the right people” – have you heard it? It’s a phrase I ask myself every so often. I hate letting anyone down, but asking myself “am I disappointing the right people?” helps me keep it in perspective. It sticks in my head as a further reminder that we can’t do it all. For happiness, we have to prioritize and then live those priorities.
Like money or time, we have a finite amount of energy of any given day. And like money and time, we have to choose how best to spend it.
Logic would tell me to spend it on things that bring me the most joy and progress, which is great except with I have more things that bring me joy than energy I have to give. I suppose this is a good problem to have.
Off the top of my head, things that I enjoy during a typical day:
- Quiet mornings with tea
- Being present with the girls (not just teaching or reading to them but being there in a mindful and engaged way)
- Conversations with David
- Online/phone communication (chats and tests with family and friends, blog post comments, instagram convos, etc)
- Working out
- Making good food for my family
- Being outside
The list goes on, but I was thinking about this in terms of my October goals and finite time and energy. I’m inevitably going to have to let one area lag behind and it’s important to be intentional about which area that is on any given day.
I don’t believe my priorities can be static. I mean, overall they can (family is always number one), but day to day they are bound to ebb and flow a little based on the day’s needs. But overall, if I need to let one area slide a little, it’s best to be proactive in choosing what that category is.
This is a very long winded way to say that staying off my phone directly leads to more time for the major joys in my life. Even more importantly than time, it allows me to have more energy and peace with those things I value most.
This was obvious to me yesterday. Despite my early wake up I felt more centered the whole day long without using my phone much beyond some texting, a couple Bearolina phone calls, and following Madeline’s leg day workout.
I’m not narcissistic enough to believe I’m truly disappointing anyone by not being on Instagram as much, but it’s clear to me that even though it’s something I enjoy, I value being immersed with the people in front of me more. I do feel some need to be on there for blog/business purposes, but what are those exactly?
Defining goals for the space is probably a good idea, but those seem to morph from month to month. Ultimately this blog remains a creative outlet and social connection for me first and foremost, so I should treat it as such. Thus my experiment in a temporary return to daily journal style writing. I’m really enjoying it!
Ok, let’s goal check for day one:
More presence and patience? Absolutely. I was more relaxed through the whole day and even sat and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas with the kids, just snuggling, not scrolling.
More time outside? I think so. I had tea with David on the porch, we went for a walk, and Hailey had a soccer game, so fair amount of time outside.
Less phone? Definitely.
Read a novel? Not yet, but I reserved a couple at the library to pick up today. I did read a chapter of Teach Your Children Well (such a good parenting book!).
Less alcohol? It’s kind of cheating to start this on a Sunday when I don’t have drinks anyway, but sure, I’ll give myself this one. No alcohol.
Meditate? I did! A whopping 3 or 4 minutes. I started the one week free trial of Headspace.
Tracking grocery budget? I am all caught up on this and even wrote a short list of some items I need to restock when I go by today.