Sometimes I wonder if I’m misrepresenting my life.
It’s not intentional. In fact, I very much intentionally try to “keep it real” through blogging and other social media. However, even with that focus I undoubtedly end up showing you the pretty meals, happy moments and the highlights of the otherwise rather ordinary day to day. It’s just makes more sense to share our afternoon adventures rather than the endless laundry piles or my constant effort to organize a fairly chaotic house.
I know I’m not alone. Most people’s instagram accounts read like a highlight reel and honestly, I love it! I really enjoy seeing pretty meals, cute kids, accomplishments, gorgeous scenery and home decor.
And though I usually congratulate myself for avoiding the comparison trap, every once in a while it catches up with me.
I’m certain it’s just a matter of my trying to play catch up this week (Hailey’s birthday thank you cards still haven’t gone out – ::hangs head in shame::), but I’ve caught myself pinning a fabulous looking dinner, admiring my friend’s adorable homemade greeting cards, running into someone who manages to get dressed in real clothes and make up everyday, hearing how one of my friends is kicking serious tail at work and wondering how a fellow blogger manages to create fabulous content on 1200 different social media outlets consistently. How?!
Then I got an email yesterday. Such a kind, genuine email from a reader asking how I possibly manage to do all the things I do and what tips I could offer. I nearly choked on my tea. And that’s when I decided I had to post on Wednesday, because I had to answer her question.
The secret to how I do it all is this:
I DON’T.
And furthermore, all those people you follow on social media aren’t doing it all either. At least, they aren’t all doing it all ALL the time. It’s impossible and it’s OK.
Do you high five yourself for cleaning out your inbox then look over to realize the laundry basket is overflowing again?
Me too.
Do you dominate cleaning and cooking healthy food, but then feel like you’re sub par on work (or blog) performance that week?
Me too.
Do you enjoy an afternoon of being super fun mom then have no time to cook so you have to pull out freezer food for dinner?
Me too.
Do you wonder how the heck other people get their children fed, dressed and wearing matching bows when you had to resort to throwing a muffin and a ponytail holder at your children as you all rushed out the door this morning?
Me toooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
We’re all in the same boat, no matter what you have going on in life. We’re all trying the best we can and priorities have to shift a little day to day, which is why we can’t be all the things, all the time. The sooner we embrace this, the happier we can be.
If you’re struggling with this, my best advice is to tune out the clutter for a little bit. Don’t scroll through facebook. Skip checking instagram. Take a day off of reading blogs (not this one though, of course ;)). Tune out all the external noise and take a look at all the stuff you are doing everyday that you aren’t giving yourself credit for, because chances is that it’s a lot.
Then come back with a refreshed outlook. It’s OK to admire the fancy meals, beautiful clothes, hard work and perfect amazing trips of others, but keep in mind that it’s their highlight reel and you can’t compare that to your behind-the-scenes.
Hope it’s a great Wednesday! And if you love seeing some real life moments on your instagram feed, check out the ones that keep me laughing at women in real life (which I highly suggest following).
Do you struggle with comparisons on social media?
John J. says
You never make a mistake when you “keep itreal”!
Ruth says
Thankyou for writing this. I so get caught up in comparing. But I need to remind myself we each have a different story. X
Parita @ myinnershakti says
100% agree with this! Having it all sounds great until you realize that it’s probably pretty boring! 🙂
Katie says
I’ve been SO down on myself for not making it to the gym this week…but other things took priority and I need to keep that in mind! We really can’t do it all! Thanks for a great post that left me feeling refreshed on this dreary Wednesday!
Brittany Dixon says
Don’t get down on yourself Katie! And if it helps you feel better, I haven’t made it to workout this week either. It will have us that much more ready to get back to it next week 🙂
::virtual fist bump::
Carol says
I just recently joined Facebook again, because my son’s class at school has a page
and his teacher posts awesome pictures there. So, as a result, I’m slowly making connections
there again. When I choose to spend time perusing Facebook, I’m always reminded of how
my life is SO DIFFERENT (and usually not in a good way) than others. It’s tough, and I’m a working mom with JUST ONE child (and no plans for any siblings for him), so I have to work hard not to compare myself to others to begin with!
It’s a struggle for sure, and I’d love to visit a social media site that makes me feel better about myself, if that ‘s possible!
Liz says
Social media shouldn’t make you feel inadequate, nor should it make you feel adequate. You are the one who decides your perception of social media. I think if you finally accept your life exactly how it is and love your life for exactly what it is, you will notice that you’ll be indifferent to the images or other lives you see on social media. Your life is enough. Social media is never going to make your life seem better than it really is, and it’s only as good as you believe it is.
Carol says
It doesn’t make me feel inadequate or adequate. I just don’t see very many moms who have a life similar to mine. But I’m an original creation, and happy to be unique.
Brittany Dixon says
Big hug to you Carol! It can be tough, but it sounds like you’ve picked a path in life that is working for you and that is what is most important. I’ve found that the more I’m confident with my decisions and the more I love my decisions, the less I need to explain or defend them to others. It sounds like you are doing the same so rock on with your unique self girl! 🙂
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma) says
I try really hard not compare myself to others on social media. Like you said, it’s a highlight reel. It’s not their every day life. I don’t know if you ever listen to the podcast One Bad Mother, but I love it, and they are always repeating “You’re doing a good job!” to every listener and to each other. I think it’s important to tell women/mothers that their doing a good job. 🙂 Especially when they are seeing other women who they think are doing it even better than them.
Brittany Dixon says
Love that message Kelli! I try to tell all my friends what an amazing job they are doing- mostly because they really are rocking whatever their chosen path is. I’m in awe at the talent my friends have. Thanks for the comment!
Ashley says
Yasss! All of this. I am so much happier the less I try to compare myself to other people’s highlight reel. I have a really hard time with what to post content-wise for business. I love all the pretties – and I can make mine look that way (and it’s probably best for business) – but I also want to be real and not make anyone else or there feel like they’re doing less. It’s definitely a challenge – and one I really think about a lot.
Brittany Dixon says
I actually love seeing the pretty stuff because it inspires me! You have such an eye for decorating/gifts (obviously)/beautiful showers and parties and I say post more! I’m terrible at that stuff but seeing more of it gives me ideas I can modify and use in my own life. Really, the more the merrier is my opinion 🙂
Kim says
I’ve written about this before in regards to infertility/loss and pregnancy and having children. I’ve definitely taken a few breaks from social media when I was struggling. However, aside from that aspect of it, I used to find it quite annoying when people only post the awesome parts of their life. It became amusing and sometimes entertaining (and even funny) over time though as I knew several people who would boast about everything they have or the vacations they went on with their husbands and I knew it was only because this 30 something year old still got a lot of things paid for by her parents, lol. I don’t think people should air out their dirty laundry on social media, but it’s refreshing when people keep it real 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Ah yes, I agree there is a balance I appreciate. I love seeing beautiful pictures then get a good chuckle when they show a behind the scenes peek.However when some people take it too far and it feels like constant complaining, then that’s not very much fun either. Great point!
Heather says
Really good post! It’s so easy to start comparing your own life to what you see on social media and forget that what you’re seeing is only a very small piece of a much larger picture. While it’s validating to see other mom’s with piles of laundry everywhere, it’s also really nice to see the prettier parts of the day. There’s a reason why you always hear people say to focus on the positive. 😉 It’s motivating for me when I see a nice looking meal or a well decorated home. It gives me ideas and something to work into my own life and reading about a really great day reminds me the great days I do have rather the rough days where nothing went right (but I’ll also sigh with relief when I hear that I’m not the only one having a bad day). 😉
Alyssa @ Renaissancerunnergirl says
I definitely struggle with comparisons, especially since the mid-20s are an age where I see other people’s engagements/weddings/babies OR pictures of everyone out clubbing looking like they’re having a blast, and I just haven’t gotten to the first stage yet but I am definitely not into the NYC party/club scene. I’m SO happy with my friends, family, blog, running, cooking, reading, fun outdoors life that I have going on, but sometimes seeing a constant stream of perfection can make you feel a little “less”. I often take social media breaks for this reason – I’ll do blog stuff, but not look at Facebook for personal use, for example 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
I remember feeling in that “in-between” too! I jokingly called myself an old soul but I was over going out (in the sense of late nights and drinking) but wasn’t married. I followed the same path it sounds like you are on (invest time in your own interests) and it all seemed to work out well. Sounds like you have a wonderful life! 🙂
ErikaMC says
I’m not on social media other than reading some blogs so I don’t have the constant ‘high light reel’ in my face to compare to. Honestly though I think we can do it all if we adjust what our ‘all’ is. It might be different each day and we have to decide ourselves what that is and what priorities we have – I bet a lot of people could also do more if they spent less time looking at social media. I feel like I do all because it’s all I want/need to do. I don’t make goals I know I can’t obtain, I don’t make a to-do list longer than I can handle so I don’t feel pressured to do more than I know I can, want or need to do.
Brittany Dixon says
Great advice to look away from social media more often. It’s something I am incredibly aware of and continue to try and do a better job at (putting it away). I am FAR more productive when I leave my phone in another room while I knock things off my list. Great tip and reminder. Thank you!
Monika says
Love this post! My fiance tells me all the time that I would be much happier if I stayed off FB/Instagram because I do play the comparison game and it sucksssss. But I do know that people just post the highlights and not the bad stuff…I just can’t help but fall into the trap sometimes 😉 But you are definitely one of the bloggers I most admire! I can’t even get myself to meal plan/cook and I don’t have kids (does having 2 dogs and 2 cats count for anything? haha).
Brittany Dixon says
2 dogs and 2 cats most definitely counts for something! Haha, but for real! 🙂 Thanks for the kind words Monika!
Amanda says
But the difference is…you HAVE freezer food! Thats winning! Last night my kid ate wheat thins for dinner. Tonight will be another adventure, I’m sure 😉
Brittany Dixon says
Haha I love this! My mom used to have “backwards dinner” nights where we essentially just ate cookies 🙂
Jen says
I love it when you “keep it real” on Periscope. 🙂 I thought you weren’t blogging on Wednesdays? What happened? Not that I’m complaining…I usually miss you on Wednesdays.
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks Jen!! Although I periscoped about my thermostat the other day which might have been a new low for me… ha! I don’t blog on Wednesdays anymore but had to make an exception today because I just had some words I had to get out 🙂
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me says
I fall into the comparison trap wayyyyyy too often. Thank you for this Brittany.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
Thanks for sharing this! I 100% agree!
Jessica @ Our Young Adventures says
This is totally the struggle of following social media and blogs too closely. Comparison traps are rough! But it is so important to realize there is no way everyone else is doing it all, all the time! I can do one thing at a time really well and everything else kind of falls by the wayside. I struggle with balancing more, but I don’t think it is something you every fully achieve, but something you always work toward, because, well, life!
alex says
I needed this! Especially this week! Thank you!
Kelli says
Funny this post came up 1 day after I deactivated my facebook account I just always left feeling like my life was so boring when I would go on FB and see these people and what they are doing going eating etc.I have two wonderful kids who I homeschool and to me that’s exciting enough feel like a weight been lifted off my shoulders not to mention I have more “free ” time! 🙂
Maria Negron Kneib says
Yes! You nailed it. Thanks for posting =)