You’ve heard more than once that I’m a fan of yoga. It’s true. The challenge, the sweat, then serene sense of calm that comes over me after a class. I love it! For something I love, though, I don’t actually know much about it. For instance, when people ask what kind of yoga I take, I respond with “hot” or “power hour.” I don’t really think those are true types of yoga though because they don’t have a fancy sound to it, like ashtanga or bikram. In fact, I once said I took bikram because I thought it was synonymous with hot yoga, but one angry yogi (who knew there was such thing?) quickly corrected me saying she doubted I took true bikram. I just shrugged and said ok.
So there’s the truth. I’m a yogi that knows nothing about it. I’d like to learn, though! In fact, I have quite a few questions I’d like to ask my yoga teacher…
Do you get nervous to start of the first “Om” at the beginning of class? I know I wait until I hear at least 2-3 oms get going before I join in.
When you voluntarily come put a block (or two… and sometimes a strap) beside me, are you subtly telling me I don’t belong in this level class? Because clearly I’m not listening when I show up again the following week.
Is learning how to deal with body odor and people drenched in sweat part of your training? Like, do they make you go to a professional football locker room after summer two-a-days and touch people? I love to be touched (minds out of the gutter, people), but cringe for you when you have to correct my sweat-drenched posture.
Do you insist we try to jump into crow strictly to get a tickle out of watching me flop and roll all over the place?
Do you really sanitize the blocks after class when you have us drop them in a basket? Or are you really just stacking them back up after we all leave?
When we show up in umbros and a t-shirt, do you secretly want to hand us pamphlets about Lululemon?
Finally, are you loaded? Is teaching yoga really a fast track to becoming a millionaire? If not, what are you doing with the $16 a pop people pay for a class?
Did I miss anything?