Preschool and Mommy Guilt

I’ve never had a bad case of mommy guilt. I realized early on that taking time to work out was good for my physical and mental health, therefore making me a better mom. No guilt. I knew date nights with David are important and so we’ve used a sitter a few times. No guilt. But now, now I’m starting to notice it creeping in.

I’m blessed that this little blog I started a couple years ago has brought some really neat opportunities my way. I don’t talk about it much, but I do some freelance and social media work on the side and I love that it allows me to maintain an identity outside of “mom”, that it brings in a little extra cash and that I can do it while spending my days with my favorite 15 month old in the world.

H and mom

But lately I just can’t find the time to do what needs doing. I consistently get up around 6:00am, or earlier, which gives me a solid 2 hours before Hailey gets up. I spend this time on the computer, getting things done, setting things up, emailing, etc. Once Hailey is up, I “clock out”. I’ve made a concerted effort lately that time spent with Hailey is time spent with Hailey, not on my phone. So I put my phone up and we play, and run around and keep ourselves busy. She takes 1 nap that lasts 2 hours, but those two hours are usually spent doing household things, like laundry, prepping meals and picking up, with only a few minutes for computer tasks. Once the evening winds down around 8:00, my brain is fried and most work is pointless.

So, I finally ready to admit I need a little help.

Why the guilt? I guess it’s my identity as a stay at home mom. I’m staying at home, so my (wonderful) job is to take care of Hailey, right? How can I justify spending money for help when being with her is what I do? Let me also say that this guilt is 100% self-inflicted. David is incredibly supportive and believes I should get any and all help I need.

So yesterday we went and toured a preschool. It was clean, friendly, safe and Hailey kept wanting to hop down and play. The staff was incredibly friendly and had all been there a long time. All of this eased my mind. It helped me realize that not only would a few hours a week be good for me, but it will also benefit Hailey. Sure, we do play groups, but it would be nice for her to learn to interact with other children her age without having me there to run to.

…right? Or am I making excuses to have a few hours to myself?

Can you see the crazy circle I’m going in?

Right now I am fairly certain I will start Hailey in a preschool/mother’s morning out program in the fall. It is just in the mornings and I’ll pick her up at lunch. I just need to decide whether she should go 2 days a week or 3. Right now I’m leaning towards 2… I think.

I’m usually so confident in my parenting decisions, but this has thrown me for a loop. I guess what I’m asking is what do you do? Any advice?

I know you amazing working moms had to face this sooner and I’d love to hear how you chose where your child should go and how you handled it.

Stay at home moms, do you feel the same guilt that I do? That taking care of your child is what you do, so how do you justify needing the extra time?

Non-moms… do I sounds like a crazy lady? Smile

Part of me can’t stand the thought of her being away from me and another part wants to know what I’m supposed to do until this program starts up in fall! Haha.

Oh, parenthood.

Any tips?



  1. Kathryn says

    I am mainly a stay at home mom to a 6 month old (I just work one day a week), and I certainly don’t see any harm in getting a few mornings to yourself to get things done! It’ll help you feel more productive and enjoy your time with Hailey even more when she comes home exhausted from having a good time with other kids her age! Just say no to mommy guilt :-)

  2. says

    Oh, I know how you feel and I felt the same way! I felt guilty at the thought of starting Makenzie in preschool last year, but knew she would love it. Then this year I opted to do Braedon in the toddler program but felt guilty because he wasn’t at the “real preschool age” yet. I did it because I knew I NEEDED that time to work and that otherwise I was half assing my work and my parenting when my thoughts were pulled in a million directions. I am so thankful I have them both signed up and they THRIVE in the environment. They have so much fun. In fact, yesterday was their first day back after the holidays and B screamed NO GO when he saw me come to pick him up. He loves it that much. And then they thrive more at home because I can more fully devote my time AND attention to them. It gives me more peace to be able to define “working hours”. Don’t feel guilty and go with your gut. You’ll still be getting quantity time with her with jsut the few mornings a week having her in preschool and the quality will increase too.
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  3. says

    Brittany, do you know how much these few hours will help Hailey?
    It will teach her many things like social interacting with kids of her own age, stimulation on fields like creativity and more. It will teach Hailey that a few hours without mom is okay and that it will teach her that mommy does indeed come back to fetch her. Brittany, these few hours will do her good and you too. Don’t feel bad about it. Don’t feel that there’s a stigma that SAHM’s need to be there 24/7 for their kids. Preschool & schools develop a child on fields that will help them one day flourish as an adult.
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  4. says

    I’m somewhat conflicted. I want to go back to work full-time (I currently work from home about 4 to 6 hours a week in graphic designer — though I’ve been trying to get into social media marketing!), and I want Liam to go to daycare — I think it would be very beneficial for him to spend part of the day with people trained in early childhood development and with children his own age.

    But I feel guilty at upsetting his routine, at the idea of leaving him in a strange place with strange people, because I know he won’t understand. I know he’d adjust and the place wouldn’t stay “strange,” but I still worry.
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  5. says

    I am a working mom who deep down would LOVE to be a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, this is not possible :( Anyways… You should not feel guilty about sending Hailey to preschool. It will only benefit her when she starts big school in a few years. She will be used to spending time with other kids without mommy and it will teach her to be independent. Choosing the right preschool is tough though. I would definitely go with your gutt feeling and of course the preschool’s “mommy score”. Do you know any other mothers who send their kids there? What do they think? Are the facilities safe and clean? Is the staff friendly? It’s hard leaving our little ones with strangers. Ask if you can call in to see how Hailey is doing. Only for the first few visits. Our preschool/daycare let me do that and it really helped me. Either way, I know that you will make the right decision. You’re a great mom!
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  6. Becky says

    I work full time and our son has been in daycare since he was 14 weeks old. He absolutely loves it! He jumps from my arms to theirs when we arrive, plays happily and then smiles & waves as I leave. He’s VERY excited to see us at the end of the day, but not in a ‘I need to get out of here’ kind of way.

    Everyone told me I’d “just know” when I found the right place. After 4 visits to various centers & home daycares – I did ‘just know’. The place was right (clean, organized, kid friendly) and the people were AWESOME (loving, caring, experienced and stable, but not burnt out). I gave them a deposit check without verifying with my husband b/c I knew it was the right place for us. You’ll just know.

    My personal feeling is that 3 days of week of work, 2 days a week of home-time is the perfect combination of career & family. I wish!!

    • says

      I feel a little silly because I got a great impression with the first place I visited! Is it possible to “just know” that fast?

      Thanks so much for sharing your positive experience. It makes me feel so much better about the decision!

      • Becky says

        Absolutely! The only reason I saw this place last was because it was their summer break the week prior and they were closed. (They still answered the phone & told me to come by during the following week). But, had I visited this place first – I would have gone nowhere else! Trust your Mama instincts :) Good luck!

  7. says

    I am an elementary teacher-turned-SAHM and I feel very strongly that preschool or MDO programs are beneficial to mom and baby. Hailey needs interaction with other children and adults. You need time to accomplish your own goals. Julia goes to an MDO program 1 day a week (9-3:30) and I’d send her 2-3 days if I could afford it! The program has a wonderful curriculum (even for 1 year olds) and she loves working with other children. You obviously can’t help the guilt you might feel- that’s normal! But once she starts going you’ll be so happy with your decision. Good Luck!
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  8. Christina says

    I work full-time, and my 11 month old daughter has been in daycare since she was 5 months old, so I know all about mommy guilt! But my daughter really, truly seems to love daycare, and I think part of the reason she started crawling and walking so early is because she was watching other kids do it! Trusting virtual strangers to care for your baby is always hard – but it has to happen sooner or later (unless you home school :)) and it will be MUCH easier on both of you if it happens sooner! Enjoy those precious few hours a week to yourself, and don’t feel guilty because you are doing what is best for Hailey!

  9. says

    I now work full-time, but initially (birth-3 months) I was trying to work part time from home. Ultimately? I felt like I was both less of a mother and less of an employee because I was so torn with my attention. By sending my son to daycare 3 days a week at 3 months (until 8 months) I was able to be productive at work, and then be the best mom possible when he was home. At 8 months (he’s now 19m) I went back to full time, and, yes, it kills me, but I do think our daycare does a wonderful job with him. He has his best friends, runs to meet me at the end of the day, and is very social and outgoing. He has learned so much from the other children (both good and bad), and I’m very happy to have that option. Especially now that he can tell me (a little) about his day! (Limited to “Played inside Gianna” or “Saw fishie”, but y’know)
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    • says

      That’s exactly how I’m beginning to feel! Like I’m only so-so at everything because I don’t have time to fully focus. Great point. I’ll feel so much better if I can relax a bit more and just enjoy the time I have with Hailey.

      Also, I love the stories you get to hear- so cute! Saw fishie. I can’t wait to hear that!

  10. says

    Love the honesty of this post. While I am not a stay at home mom yet (I hope to be after we have another baby), I do know with certainty that I’ll put my son in a MMO program 2 or 3 halfdays a week if I do get that opportunity. He loves playing with other kids and I think it’s a great experience for him. Don’t think of it as feeling guilty that you aren’t spending a few more hours a week with Hailey, instead, think of it as a great learning experience for her as she learns how to interact with other kids, share, play in a group, and other things that she couldn’t necessarily do at home. Best of luck and I can’t wait to hear how it goes. As for this summer, I have no suggestions, though I do know some MMOs have summer hours.
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  11. Layne says

    Before you were a mom you were a woman and then a wife. Don’t feel guilty for taking time to be the best you to serve your family. As a former nanny I can tell you how much children grow from learning from others their age, its AMAZING! You’ll see so much growth from yourself and her during this time apart. Good luck with what you decide!

  12. says

    I’m not a mother (yet!), but I think you should 100% do this! I used to work at daycare and the interaction with other kids helps SO much! Sounds like this is absolutely the best of both worlds. Whether you go with 2 or 3 days a week is up to you… could you maybe start with 3 and see if you need it? If not, back it down to 2? Or vice versa? I think you’ll quickly see Hayley will love it and you’ll be so much more “there” when you’re with her by not being with her for a few hours a few times a week. Good for you for seeing and admitting you need some help and having the courage to make a change!
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  13. says

    I think it is a good idea. Just a few days a week won’t hurt anything and it will get her used to interacting with other kids in a structured setting. Speaking as a teacher, this is a great thing. Obviously, you aren’t just leaving her because you want to or even to just sit around. You have nothing to feel guilty about. But I know how you feel, we had to do it for about a month when my daughter (now 7 months) was about 4 months and I felt so guilty.

    • says

      I keep hearing teachers say what a good thing it is, which is making me feel so much better about it. After all, you guys know what you’re talking about because your are trained in child development! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  14. says

    I work full-time and my 14 month old goes to daycare full time. I’m not going to lie, I hate having to work and sending her to daycare BUT our family doesn’t have a choice. Thankfully, I love the teachers, atmosphere, security precautions and so on that are at Addy’s daycare. I think it would be great to get some time to yourself and for Hailey to get some time by herself. I was lucky in the fact that Addison has rarely shed a tear when going to daycare…all hell would have broken loose if that had happened! Addy loves her “classmates” and it definitely excited to go to daycare daily. If worse comes to worse, you can at least say you tried and it didn’t work for you, but you might as well try! You’ve got nothing to loose! You could start small with 2 days and if you decide it’s working out well, you could bump her up to 3 days. Good Luck with your decision!

  15. Cindi says

    We aren’t sending Molly to pre-school until she’s 3, but if I had to get actual work done like you do or if she had a younger sibling around, I would definitely feel no guilt in sending her at age 2.

  16. says

    Such supportive commenters above! Wow, what a conundrum. It seems to me that every mommy’s situation is different and you have to do what works best for you. Why not give it a try and if it’s awful (for you or her), you can pull her out! Or if it seems like she would do better with three days rather than two, you can ratchet up. She seems like such a confident, thriving little girl that she will certainly thrive here too!
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  17. Hanna says

    Mom guilt is truly the worst feeling. I feel it all the time! I don’t have the option to be a stay at home mom so we have to send our girls to daycare. My oldest daugther Conley, is 3 and my mom kept her for the first 2 years until she had to go back to work. We toured a few daycare centers but I hated them all. They smelled weird, the women wore scrubs, and the kids slept on cots. I hated it. We settled for a lady that we’ve known for years to keep Conley. She keeps 6 other kids that are Conley’s age and so far it’s worked out great. The sitter is now keeping our youngest daughter, Abby. We put Conley in a church day school from 8-11:30 during the school year and she is learning so much! She loves it.
    I think that sending Conley to a day school was the best decision we’ve made! It’s expensive, but she’s learned so much already. She’ll be used to school when the time comes for her to go to “big school” and she’s getting a jump start in her learning.
    Hailey seems to be a social little lady so I bet she will love it! Good luck with your decision!

  18. says

    I’m a full-time working mom so my daughter has been in childcare since 22 weeks when I went back to work. We opted to go with a nanny share arrangement with another family whose daughter was close in age to our daughter (also very close friends of ours) because we did not want to put them into a larger daycare setting at an early age. C loves spending time with her nanny and her friend E, but I think that by the time she’s 2.5 or so we’ll switch her to a preschool setting for more social interaction and a learning curriculum. She loves being around a lot of kids and learning new things and I think she will thrive in that setting. I’ve often felt incredibly guilty for being a working mom, but after doing it for a year I can confidently say it has been good for me and for C. She is a friendly, outgoing and confident child and I partially credit that to being able to be away from me and my husband and knowing that we always come back. The other part I credit to her just being an awesome kid 😉
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  19. Paulina says

    Read this: Its about a SAHM facing the same decision as you.

    My own story is that I had to return to my full-time job when Amy was 11 weeks old. I was a crazy mess. This was absolutely the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do. Part of that was probably because I was still going through the postpartum “baby blues” but I think it is incredibly hard no matter how old your child is. We toured daycare centers while pregnant and found a wonderful one in my own neighborhood. They have an open door policy, which means that parents can visit anytime unannounced. This made me feel like they had nothing to hide, and I went to visit her on my lunch break every day for the first week or so. I’m lying. Her first day, I was way too emotional so my husband did. The teacher told me to call or stop by anytime if I want to check up on her, but I made my husband do it because I knew I’d start crying like a crazy person. So, you’re normal to feel crazy about this.

    Fast forward 13 months, and Amy is thriving and I LOVE LOVE LOVE her daycare. She has learned so much. She is a very happy, social, silly little girl. I am considering becoming a SAHM when/if we have a second child and one thing I can’t figure out is if I’d still want that baby to go to daycare. I think I would, even if its just once or twice a week. I’ve seen how much Amy has benefited from being around a group of her peers and learning so much from her teachers that I wouldn’t want sibling #2 to miss out on the opportunity.

    So I’d say go for it. In the meantime, what if you hired a babysitter to come over a few hours a week so you could get some work done?

    Best of luck with this tough decision.

    • says

      I love hearing stories about how much kids have thrived in a more social environment. It’s also interesting to hear you say that you wouldn’t want a second child to miss out on that opportunity, which gives me more faith that this truly is a great decision for both Hailey and me. Thanks so much for sharing!

  20. says

    Logan has been in school from 8-3 since he was 5 months old for 5 days a week. It was definitely a choice for me to work part time, not something I need, but I like it and I want to do it. He loves school, I love that he goes to school. I am a strong believer in school over nanny or stay at home mom. He is very social, adaptable, and learns more than I could teach him. I also felt very isolated and lonely when I stayed home. He even went to school over winter break for a few hours.

  21. says

    I work full time and I think my biggest source of mommy guilt comes from the knowledge that I couldn’t nor would I want to be a SAHM. I just couldn’t do it. Miles goes to an in-home daycare that’s accredited and has its own curriculum but doesn’t separate the children by age. I picked it based on price, the environment (reminded me of my baby sitter growing up) and the owner’s philosophy (she feeds them home-grown veggies, teaches them to garden and offers organic items). Miles has thrived in the environment and loves going to play with his friends. In fact, some of his first words were names of kids at daycare. I also credit the environment with helping him to develop language and social skills. Sending Hailey two or three mornings a week is nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, I’m sure she’d like the time away – to play, interact, get into new things.
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    • says

      Can I send Hailey to your place? Teaching kids about gardening in veggies- amazing!! :)
      It’s funny that your mommy guilt is about not wanting to be home! I guess we all have our (unnecessary) guilt over one thing or another!

  22. Jerrica says

    I have a 3 and 1 year old and feel the same way. My feelings were very strong when my baby was born but I also had PPD which made my emotions all over the place. Now (since being treated and overcoming my ppd), I have decided to take in each moment I can because I missed out on so much when I was depressed and those feelings of guilt are unbearable. I do understand that socializing kids is important and we also do the toddler time groups and get out multiple times a week. For us, that is enough. School will come soon enough and for now I want to enjoy every moment I have with them (especially with the recent events in CT). Being a SAHM is a difficult job, but it has to be the most rewarding!

  23. says

    Oh, I know the feeling. I was suppose to start working from home this month but it has been pushed back now to February due to CEO changes. So right now, I am working two 7.5 hour days and one 5.5 hour days which isn’t bad but man, was it hard to leave this morning. Keely is still sleeping when I leave for work & my mom gets to my house so you would think it would be easier but for the past 3 weeks, I have been getting her up everyday and I totally missed our morning routine. Just gotta get through the next few weeks. Good luck with everything and it will get easier plus Hailey will have tons of fun with other kids.
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  24. says

    I think this is an excellent idea. And honestly I think it’s best for Hailey. She needs the structure and interaction with other kids as much as you need some solo time. You both will benefit immensely.

    I work 4 full days a week and often have my nanny stay 30-60 min longer after I’m home so I can take care of some stuff around the house (and get a speed workout in).

    Great decision!
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  25. says

    You keep saying your a SAHM, but that’s not true. You work. You work at home. So the way I see it is that you’re a part-time SAHM/WAHM. So it’s find to act like one. Putting Hailey in preschool a couple of mornings a week isn’t bad. Independence on both of your parts is good. The earlier the better with her developing strong social skills, right? And this will not only allow you to maybe get a bit more sleep AND a bit more work done, but it will also allow you to have even better quality time when you’re together.
    Being a mom sounds like the hardest job ever. No need to martyr yourself if you don’t have to.
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  26. Danielle says

    Daycare/preschool has so many benefits! I am lucky in that our daycare is part of my firm, so C is in the same building as me and I can pop down to visit him whenever I want. I am continually amazed at the skills he’s developed in school. His vocabulary has exploded with words we’ve never even said in our home, and he comes home singing songs and talking about his friends everyday. In addition, while it’s annoying at first, he’s also contracted all the yucky childhood illnesses that come with group settings and I am grateful he’s getting the exposure now, as opposed to when he starts kindergarten and really needs to be present and focus. As others have said, it is much harder on you than on them. They love it, I promise!

  27. lauren says

    I agree with the poster above, you’re definitely a part-time SAHM/WAHM! Give yourself some credit :)
    I think a 3 day morning program sounds great for you and Hailey. My little one is due in July and I still haven’t figured out exactly what I’ll do for daycare. I work full-time right now and I enjoy it! Full time daycare looks expensive in my area (RI), but not working at all and not getting out of the house would cost me a lot more. I think you have a great solution, I only hope I can figure one out as well.

  28. says

    DO IT!!! I’m in exactly the same position as you. {Except K gets up at 5-5:30 so I definitely do not get up 2 hours before him;)}. He goes to preschool 2 days a week, and while it makes me feel absolutely ridiculous it’s so necessary. Sometimes you just need uninterrupted, focused time to work. You also need time for yourself- just YOU! Honestly I still don’t get half the stuff I want done, but I wrestle with adding another day of school for him for all the reasons you said. Ahh motherhood. 😉
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  29. Steph Van Rossen says

    Girl – you should not have any guilt!! You are a fabulous mom and this is just the next step in your daughter’s development. She is ready to socialize a little more, be away from mommy a little, learn to wait her turn, etc., etc. This will be a great thing for both of you.

    I guess I should say that I have 2 kids ( 9 & 11) and both of them started preschool at 2 yrs. old and went 2 days per week. They both loved their days at school.

    I think you are making a great decision! Let go of the guilt. :-)

  30. Meghan Taylor says

    I have always heard the rule of thumb with mothers day out programs is that you send your child the number of days that match their age.

      • Meghan says

        Dont Feel guilty. I bet even with 2 days you will have more than enough time to get things done. I bet you forgot how much you really get done without a little one following you around. Two days will feel like two weeks if you have been doing it with her attached to your hip thus far! ha!

  31. Kate says

    My 14 month old has been in day care since I went back to work when she was 12 weeks. It has been the best thing for both of us. She is at an awesome facility that shares views similar to my own about what is good for kids (outdoor play time! Arts and crafts! Books!) and my daughter absolutely loves it an gets so excited to be there. It also frees me up to work, which, to be honest, is something that I enjoy and don’t want to give up. Win-win, in my book.

  32. says

    Definitely don’t feel guilty Brittany! I know it must be hard not to with a little one, but I was actually a nanny for a stay at home Mom and I never judged her situation at all. I always told her she should spend some extra time on herself. As nice as it is to stay home, you shouldn’t be doing it ALL the time. You need to make yourself a priority as well and do things that make you happy (besides being with the little one). Even though you are a SAHM you work very hard, plus it will benefit Hailey with interacting with others, knowing how to share, play, all that stuff. I would sometimes take the kids to daycare just so they could get that interaction with others and I think it really helped them get social and not so attached to the Mom as well. That’s another big thing, the attachement issue. Um, okay sorry that was super long. I think whatever you do is right for your family and that’s all that matters!

  33. says

    Our kids are now getting to an age where they crave playtime with other kids. You crave and need some time without worrying about Hailey’s needs. It sounds like a program 2-3 days a week where she still gets to eat lunch and have her nap at home is ideal for everyone.

    We do playdates and visits to the playground every day I have off as it seems you do too, but as you said you need time to get your work done too. If you can afford it, go for it.

    Raffi (15 mo old) is at daycare 2 full days a week right now and I personally think it’s too much. I don’t think it’s right that he has to eat lunch out of his home and take his nap on some mat on the floor. If I could take him somewhere for 3-4 hours a day it would be ideal for everyone. He could run off some energy and I could work without worrying about him not sleeping in comfort. It sounds like you’ve found that and that is simply awesome.
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  34. says

    Wow, 44 comments (I’m late to the game today), so I’m sure that I have nothing new to add, but when I was a nanny, the parents the parents I worked for enrolled their kids in preschool, even though they had me. They did it for the learning aspect. Sure, I could teach them numbers, letters, and what sound a cow makes, but I couldn’t teach them how to socialize and be their own person outside of a caretaker. I couldn’t prepare them to Kindergarten the way preschool can. I think it’s 100% healthy for Hailey and for you. Guilt, be darned!
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  35. Kate says

    I totally understand what mom guilt is like — I work outside the home and my little one has been in daycare since she was 4 months old. In the beginning I had a really tough time with everything, but now that she is older (she just turned 1), I am SO happy that she gets to socialize, play, and learn things that, quite frankly, I don’t know that I could necessarily provide as well at home. I’m also convinced that my daughter started walking earlier, learned baby sign language sooner, etc. because she is constantly surrounded by other children who she can learn from. I, too, got that “this is it” feeling about our daycare when we first toured it, and my gut was right. The teachers LOVE my daughter and she loves them! I think you and Hailey will both benefit from preschool — and nothing is better than a happy mommy and happy baby. :) Good luck with your decision!

  36. says

    Non-mommy here. {And fellow Charlotte blogger!} I don’t think you sound the least bit crazy! :) When I was in college, about three days per week I nannied for a family with two young girls (1 & 3!). Their mom was a SAHM but she admitted she sometimes just needed some time to herself, so she could grocery shop alone, get a manicure, even just take a nap! They also used me for a few date nights, but mainly I was with the girls for many hours a few days a week. I never saw it as the least bit selfish or crazy on their mom’s part. Plus, it’s good for littles to learn to be apart from mom and dad sometimes, even if just for a few hours.
    Those of us who work in an office take paid vacations – SAHMs deserve time to themselves off of work, too!
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  37. Kara says

    Hi Brittany! I teach a 3 year old preschool class right now but I have also taught children as young as Hailey. You are not alone in how you feel as almost every parent that enrolls her child in preschool expresses those same feelings to us as teachers! I can tell you that Hailey will LOVE being around other kids and will reap all of the benefits of being in a school environment. I know it sounds crazy to think of Kindergarten now but during my undergrad I did my student teaching in a kindergarten class and I could tell almost right away the children who went to preschool/nursery school and those who did not. There is a huge difference socially/emotionally and I would absolutely recommend starting sooner than later, guilt free! :)

  38. says

    I may not be a mom, but I honestly feel this is the right decision. Not only will it give you a few hours a week to get other things done (every mommy needs some ME time), but your little beauty will be able to play with other little kids her ages. Having that interaction is GOOD for her <3

  39. jennifer says

    I had to go back to work when Alana was 4 months old and my Mom watched her. When she turned 1 and was walking my Mom could no longer safely watch her for that long because of her weight issues. She weighs over 400lbs running after a toddler is not an option. So now she is in day care full time but I work down stairs making all of their food for breakfast lunch and snack and I know and trust all of the teachers. My Mommy guilt comes from working out or going to this new bible study on tues. I feel like Im not giving her the time she needs but then what about me and my health and well being.

  40. Lauren R. says

    I have been a preschool teacher for years and let me tell you I understand. Parents tell me almost every day how hard it is feeling like they are bad parents because they have to leave their children. But let me tell you it is a GOOD THING! You want your child to be able to feel safe with others beside you, you want her to bond and develop secure attachments with other adults, it is a very good thing! I love the social skills children develop at a young age because they are surrounded by other children on a daily basis. I think it is rough to leave your child all day but doing a part day is really pretty awesome for them!

  41. Meghan says

    I think we all suffer mommy guilt at some time or another. I am a working mom teaching other people’s kids all day. I feel guilty I don’t spend all day with my son or that we get home and I am tired. One thing I don’t feel guilty about is him having the chance to play with other kids all day. At 11 months he loves it. Even durin winter break we sent him one week. He walks in and right to his friends. He loves his teachers and is always happy at the end of the day to see me. It’s hard but I think both you girls will benefit!

  42. says

    Just wanted to pop in to the discussion to say I had the same struggle as you! I knew I needed a few extra hours, and that it would benefit L, but it was such a difficult decision. And then I found two different programs and agonized over the choice between the two. In the end, it’s really worked out well for both of us. She goes twice a week, and the few hours FLY by. But it’s worth it– I get some stuff done, she loves going to “school” and I feel like a more present mom with the rest of my day. I do have to say though, that the 3 day option would have been really nice!
    Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..Smoothie Pancakes + Greens for kidsMy Profile

  43. Britt says

    For me personally, not judging at all I wouldn’t put my own 15 month old into a preschool type program at all.. Since it is just two hours a day could you find something to do together that could give h socialization with other kids? Library story time and mom play dates like you said are enough time spent with other kids her age. I also wouldn’t be able to justify spending money for a babysitter /mothers day out program because my job is strictly stay at home mom (and student ). Maye stay up two hours later hahah?

  44. Heather says

    So glad to read this refreshing string of comments! I have a very curious, active, social and independent 23 month old and another baby due in a month. I don’t have strong local family or friend resources, and I have been battling with this same predicament. I read some posts on other sites which bash stay-at-home moms for taking an opportunity to put their young child in a part-time pre-school. It was making my mom guilt much worse. I just can’t help but view pre-school for our 2 year old as a “win” for all of our family members:

    1) our 2 yr old has a chance to be in an environment 3x a week for 4 hrs a day (following local school district’s annual calendar) that encourages and fosters use of all of their natural attributes
    2) baby gets bonding time with mommy and is primed for sibling time when toddler returns
    3) mommy gets baby bonding, house/ finance /family responsibilities taken care of and hopefully a few Zs in there too *fingers crossed*—All of this helping mommy to be more mentally and physically available for quality tuned-in toddler time
    4) hubby comes home to happier fam members and doesn’t have to worry about us all pulling our hair out by the end of each day

    I feel much better after reading some posts of encouragement. Finally! Thank you!

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