Whether it shows or not, I consider myself a fairly ambitious person. Combine that with my need to please (that I’m forever working on) and it keeps me pretty busy.
Like I mentioned yesterday, I woke up with my head in such a fog– I largely blame female hormones. Whatever the cause, it isn’t a fun place to be when you feel like you are starting the week behind, have a really long list of things that need to get done and have two overtired girls on your hands, one whining incessantly about what are we going to doooooo today?
Apparently my answer of I don’t know- stay in jammies and do laundry? isn’t an acceptable answer to a 4 year old.
I turned on some Disney Pandora, marched past the whining and got to work folding laundry while chatting with the girls about who knows what. Evidently it was dull enough to have them decide to find something to play with on their own and soon enough they were cooking a feast in the play kitchen and putting babies down for naps.
Slowly my emails and the outside world faded as I got caught up in singing along with Gaston (yes, I know every word) and acting out other ridiculous Disney scenes to get giggles from the girls.
Slowly but surely, I felt a metaphorical exhale as all the things I was “supposed” to do disappeared from my mind. Somewhere between my ratty ponytail and over-sized pajamas, my heart realized that THIS is the kind of mom I want to be.
It’s easy for me to get busy entertaining or shuttling around my kids, but to just stopping to be with them? How often do I really do that?
We moved on from laundry and dolls to baking.
Sure, there were squabbles over whose turn it was to stir, but with nothing on our agenda, we could take our time and let me tell you, those muffins were realllllly well mixed.
The morning passed slowly, which can so often feel like dragging, but this time it was different- a welcomed, un-rushed flow.
High on this together time, I found myself wondering why every day couldn’t look like this.
Why can’t every day be filled with strawberry muffins,
homemade kale chips,
all day jammies,
desperate attempts at drawing what Hailey dictates,
feeding ducks and making roller coasters in the driveway?
Why can’t life to be one big Pollyanna episode?!
Well, in the dawn of this new day, I know why every day can’t be like that. There are things that need to be done to keep the wheels of life turning. There is alone time I need to have to keep me sane. There is life stuff that we have (and want) to engage in.
However, days like yesterday remind me that every so often I want to be more intentional about putting the rest on hold. I want to make sure those that are most important to me feel like they are most important. I think one of the best ways to do that is unscheduled, quality time.
And though I know not everyday can, or should, be like yesterday, I hope that with intention that I can add a few days like that more often. Those are the days where some really sweet memories are made. Those are the days I realize how much I really LIKE my kids. Those are the days that recharge my batteries.
And now I’m ready to catch up on the rest of the life stuff today.
Do you have days where you feel like THIS is the kind of mom/wife/friend/daughter I want to be?
What is different about those days?
For me, it’s the unscheduled time. Not having anything to rush to or do makes the biggest difference in how I parent.
Kathleen says
I was just wondering about those kale chips you made… Do you have to use a dehydrator or could you just bake them on a cookie sheet ? Also, jammies all day and no plans are the best days 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
I’ve always made them with a dehydrator because personally I could never get the oven kind crispy enough. I bought a dehydrator from a friend for $30 and have loved it! It’s great for frying herbs, fruit, jerky and making kale chips. I’d highly recommend snagging a used one if you are interested. I think a lot of people buy them, don’t use them much and sell them, so you can get a much better deal if you buy used.
Jessica says
Yes! I have those moments all the time. The days when I stop having an agenda and we just go with the flow. It can even be having the kids help me clean or just taking 15 minutes to read books and do puzzles. That little amount of time is exactly what they want. 🙂 btw…were you in Statesville last Wednesday? Weird question I know, but I think I saw you. Not a stalker I swear. Ha ha! I know Alison F and she’s told me numerous times to follow you on your blog. I’ll explain why I asked if you were up here. Ha ha!
Brittany Dixon says
Small world- Yes I was in Statesville! Did you see me looking exhausted and overwhelmed? Because bringing two kids to traffic court certainly did me in 😉
Amanda L says
So true – I struggle with this a lot. I work full time, and have wonderful parents nearby, so a lot of the time I feel like I’m not paying enough attention to my son – either im leaving him in the care of others longer to go to the gym or grocery after work, or using weekends to run errands and clean the house instead of playing, going to the zoo, etc. To top things off I’m the type who can’t relax until all the work is done (I’m really a joy to be around on a Saturday, I tell ya). I’m trying to stay more “on top” of my personal obligations (household tasks, chores) so I there can be more time for play after work and on the weekends. This may require me to stay up past 8:30 every night though, so I can’t say I’ve mastered it yet – but I’m trying!
Brittany Dixon says
A big high five from a fellow 8:30er 😉
I share your sentiment about not being able to relax until I’ve gotten stuff done. The big one for me is a clean kitchen (a messy one drives me CRAZY), but David has helped me chill out by reminding me that I’ll never have it all done. And it’s true. I did all the laundry yesterday and somehow more clothes are in the basket today! I’m a work in progress too…
Kate says
I have kind of an ambivalent feeling towards unscheduled days. On the one hand, I like when I get things done, when I work towards my goals. On the other hand, unscheduled days allow me to focus on what is important to me. Balancing those two conflicting emotions and days is the real challenge!
Love your quote about disappointing the right people!
Have a productive day – conquering your to dos! 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Definitely agree with you about balancing the two. I think I have a tendency to lean towards scheduling a lot of productive days and the unstructured ones usually end being forced upon me. I’m always surprised at how refreshed I feel after one though, so I need to do a better job about consciously adding them in!
Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says
I love this post because it speaks to how I try to remind myself to think in the here and now, when everyone is so busy living their crazy busy lives in NYC – I want to always be cognizant of how lucky I am in my pretty awesome current life. And also, to be that same kind of mom in the future, which I think a lot of people can lose sight of. You can be happy just being at every stage even as life changes.
Heather says
I agree… as much I love having fun things planned out, sometimes those slow days with absolutely no plans are the best. You can just take each moment as it comes because there is nowhere to rush to. We can be spontaneous and just go with the flow and I’m beginning to like that more as time passes.
Kathryn @ Family Food on the Table says
I’m a go-go-go type of person by nature, so when I do stop and take in the little moments, I find them all the more rewarding. I have learned to put pause on my to-do list (which is easier when I have scheduled in specific times for various tasks so I know I’ll have some dedicated time later to finish it up) and just be with my kiddos after I’m done with my job. And for me, the mindfulness aspect – really being in the moment with them – is what makes the days special and rewarding. When I fully engage, I can tell a difference, and I know they can too. Now I’m just striving to find a way to make more time for moments like those… always a juggling act!
Tara | Treble in the Kitchen says
I totally do!! It’s tough being in school and working right now, but I know things won’t always look like this. Loved this post 🙂
Heather says
Can you tell me about those towers your girls use in the kitchen? My 14 month old always asks to be picked up while I am cooking her dinner and it is not easy cooking with one hand!
I am a very scheduled person so I try every morning to be OK with leaving the house a little late or staying outside an extra 10 min before dinner time. It makes for a happier kiddo if we take our time to move through the phases of the day together.
Brittany Dixon says
Yes- David built them. I’ve been promising foreverrrr a post on how he did it and he FINALLY started editing the pictures and putting together the measurement yesterday. He said it is easy to do and is much cheaper than the learning tower. Hopefully it will be ready to share soon!
Amanda L says
Yes! We desperately want to copy them too!
Lindsay says
That’s exactly he kind of mom I want to be too! I struggle to be in the moment with my kids, I can’t seem to let go of all the ‘things’ I need to do. I’m a work in progress ;). I work at this by not planning anything for days on the weekend, and then let things happen organically. If I’m not ‘planned’ it helps me be more spontaneous.
SHU says
I love this post – you inspired one of my own (I quoted you 🙂 ).
Even though I’m not home every day, I totally GET that feeling you had and I’d love to have more of it.
tanya says
I struggle with this way too much! I really do need to make time for days like this 🙂 They seem to be the perfect days and the days that memories are made.
katie says
Very well said! I’m not a mom, but I lately have struggled with understanding what I really should be spending my time on. Somedays I have the mix right, some days I need to readjust.
Dana says
Wow! This post so resonated with me. I felt like I started the week already behind…It just left me feeling yuck!! Thanks for the reminder that things will get done and sometimes you really just need a day to be in jammies and see what the day brings…thanks for the reminder 🙂
Katie says
I agree with this, but most of the time, I feel like this is all I do, so I need to find the balance. I work from home, so I need to be by a computer all day, and I feel like while I do hang out and play a ton with my 23 month old, she needs to be out and about, seeing things and exploring. And I go a little stir crazy myself!I have such guilt with that, but I do know that she does love hanging out and playing, because she will tell me “so much fun today”, when all we have done is play play doh and princesses 1000x and that makes me feel a little better.
Molly says
Hi! I’m always looking for a good muffin recipe and my daughter LOVES strawberries. Can you share where you got the recipe from?
Thanks!!
Brittany Dixon says
I don’t actually have a recipe- I googled several then was trying to create my own version. It turned out fair, but not great. There seemed to be a lot with good reviews by googling strawberry muffins though!
Edye says
The love you have for your family is so sweet! You’re a great role model for a teen girl like myself <3
Blessings,
Edye
Heather @ What Does She Do All Day? says
You’ve just described what I’ve been feeling recently. I started working at home and it’s taking a toll on me and my children. They’re so used to having me around and being able to spend time with them, but suddenly I don’t have as much time. And it’s breaking my heart. I just want to spend time with my kids, do fun things, do a bunch of nothing together. Bake muffins when we feel like baking muffins!
Glenda Paul says
I love this post! I find it really challenging to slow down and just enjoy time with my son, even though if you asked me to describe a perfect day, that would be part of it. The to-do lists and have to dos often take over and it seems like it take a very concerted effort to slow down and just enjoy not being scheduled or rushing or getting that last load of laundry finished! Thank you once again for your honesty and glimpse into a day in the life 🙂
Heather says
I love this post. All to often I get caught up in our busy schedule and things that need to be done that day. I wouldn’t say I have full days where I say this is the kind of mom or wife I want to be, but moments. It is hard to have a full day right now to say this is how it should be, but like yesterday when I put the kids in the jogging stroller and took them for a run and they laughed and kicked and played the whole way, I knew that is where I wanted/needed to be right then. All was right with the world! I love the picture of Kaitlyn watching the muffins in the oven!
Grandma Honey says
What is the name of the dehydrator you have the kale in? I think I may want to buy me one of those. Does the kale need to be dry when you put it in there?
LOVE your blog and watching your girls grow up!
Brittany Dixon says
I have a NESCO that I bought from a friend for $30- totally worth it! I usually wash the kale then dry it in my salad spinner before I put it in. 🙂