I sit down this morning feeling refreshed. Yesterday I did some soul searching. I read through all your (amazing) comments, which really made me think (and scribble down a few books to look into as well). I took time to really consider my priorities and I wrote them down. I thought about what was out of sync that was causing my unwarranted stress. I think I figured it out.
My top priority is my family (my personal well-being included) and during the day that means caring for and hanging out with the girls, myself and my home. Y’all are right, Hailey and Kaitlyn are at precious ages and it’s flying by. So I started looking at what was taking away from me focusing on/enjoying being mom during the day and a lot of it is, you guessed it, technology. All this time I thought I was a multitasking master, but my constant divided attention is slowly wearing on me.
For me, I think the mom guilt of getting to do what I always wanted, which is being home with my babies, led me to feel like I always should be doing more. So I created more for myself to do. This blog started as a fun hobby, but soon started taking over more and more of my time. Partially because I love it, but also because everyone told me that you needed to treat your blog like a job for it to grow. So I did. But here’s the kicker- it’s not my job. It’s my connection, my outlet, a thing just for me that I love, but it’s not my job.
So my new plan is this: between 5am-7am every morning is me time. This chunk of time is for writing the blog, editing photos, responding to emails and comments, attending to my Shaklee business, responding to social media, checking stats, etc. I love this time because it is cathartic, empowering and exciting.
But when Kaitlyn wakes up around 7, I’m putting it all away. My day as mom will begin. That means being fully present; enjoying the breakfast chaos without checking emails. It means nap times are for relaxing, not computers. It means hitting up the gym, play dates, strawberry patches, cooking and soon, the pool! (And laundry, bills, dentist appointments, repair men, vet visits and all that too, of course)
However, this set up means that my blog format might change a little bit. More posts will be simple, light posts about our day or a topic that’s been on my mind or something amazing I ate. Some of you might like that but I also realize I might lose readers that prefer more structured posts. I’m most likely going to be slower at responding to emails too, but I will still certainly answer them all. And if a morning comes where I’m just flat out exhausted, I’m going to let myself sleep, even if that means no post.
Right now I want, I need, to get back to a style that fits my life rather than making my life fit the blog. It is a Healthy Slice of Life after all, and this season of life demands more presence from me, so my other interests are going to need to adjust accordingly.
This new planned dawned on me yesterday as I was eating lunch with Kaitlyn. I accidentally left my phone in the car so I just sat with my salad on the playroom floor watching her push her stroller, then sit down and clap for herself. I realized how important these moments are to me and developed my plan. I’m not exactly easy breezy, so I even wrote it down and as I did, I felt a sense of relief and excitement flood over me.
At nap time, I grabbed a book and curled up with Koda.
When the girls woke up, we planted the garden and went on an adventure walk.
Besides the pictures, I kept my phone on silent in my pocket. My hand twitched multiple times as I thought about grabbing it to check email or twitter, but I resisted. I think it might take me some time to adjust to not being connected 24/7, but it’s exactly what I need.
When David got home I wasn’t worn down. I felt refreshed, rejuvenated, and I danced around (Uptown Funk is my current jam… how behind on the times am I?) while we made dinner.
Will this plan fix everything? Shoot, I don’t know, but I do know that the idea of it feels really good right now. I feel it better matches my days with my priorities while still letting me have time for the things I get joy from. And though I know I don’t owe y’all any explanation, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated all your comments yesterday. It’s so nice to know we’re all figuring this thing out the best we can whether we’re juggling full time jobs, first pregnancies, moving states, quiet struggles, etc and I appreciated the advice you sent my way. I read it all and plan to take a lot of it to heart. Thanks so much for reading and contributing to this little spot of mine and I do hope you’ll stick around.