My dad is in the hospital right now and has been since Thursday. My mom was not able to be with him at first because of Covid, which was gut wrenching for all of us. We are so grateful she has been able to be with him for the past couple of days. Our biggest hope and prayer right now is that he is able to go home soon. If you are the praying, or well-wishing, or good vibe type, we’ll take them all right now that this can happen.
I feel like I’m an alternate universe. And I really don’t know how I’m supposed to be, so I’m just… being, I guess?
I cry every day. But in between the tears there is normalcy, too. Yesterday we went on a long family bike ride and played soccer together. I cooked dinner. I had to tell the girls to cut it out when they got a little crazy.
David has been incredible. I’m the emotional one between us by a landslide, and he is my rock, but the level of compassion he’s been able to give me is incredible. Somehow he is striking the balance between being the steady and strong “I’ll take care of it” husband and the loving “I’ve got you” support I need. I’m so grateful for him.
Kaitlyn turned 6 years old on Saturday. While talking with my mom I admitted I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to celebrate her properly and she assured me I’d find a way. Per usual, Mom was right. With the help of a gorgeous sunny day, a slip and slide, mud pie, and a few of our closest friends, Kaitlyn had a wonderful birthday. Grateful.
Sometimes my mind gets lost in future worries. What if? What about when? How am I supposed to?
I’ve been trying to give myself a lot of grace with that. Some of the best words a friend has given me lately are “every emotion you feel right now is justifiable and completely normal.” It helps to hear that jerking from emotion to emotion is OK and even normal.
Then there is my mom. I can’t even find the words to describe the depths of this woman’s love and strength. The funny thing about strength is the different forms it takes. From the note taking, question-asking, decision maker to the incredible power of embracing vulnerability, and feeling deeply and openly. Somehow, some way, she is doing both right now. She amazes me.
Last fall we went to see Frozen II in the theaters: my mom and dad, my brother, my nieces, the girls, and me. When Anna started singing “The Next Right Thing” I sat up straight, looked directly at my dad and asked him if he had received his royalty check for letting them use his phrase in a major motion picture. As long as I’ve lived, that’s been Dad’s advice for the hard times. When you can’t see the end game, just do the next right thing. So that’s what I’m doing right now.
One step, then another. Wash and repeat.
Michelle says
Prayers, thoughts and big hugs to you and your family!!! You’re amazing!!
SHU says
I’m so sorry, Brittany. Yes anything you are feeling is valid. Sending love and prayers and thoughts.
Lynn Thow says
Brittany,
I’m praying for you and your entire family! Your daddy gives great advice. Do the next right thing. I’m going to practice that as I go through out my day today.
Big hugs to you!!
Lynn🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Kate says
I’m so sorry Brittany. Praying you can have him home soon and are able be together. ❤️
Christina says
Prayers for your dad and your entire family ❤️
Have you heard of the Do the Next Right Thing podcast? Check it out – really positive and helpful. I think you would like it.
Stephanie says
Oh Brittany this post brought tears to my eyes. I have read your blog since day 1 pretty much and I am praying for your family. Your dad seems like a pretty amazing guy. I pray he is able to come home soon!
Joanna says
Praying for you all and hoping your dad can come home soon. I’ll be thinking of your dad’s advice as I go through my days. He sounds like a wonderful person. 🙏
Lauren Brennan says
I’m praying, Brittany! 💕
Lindsey says
I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad! I’ll be praying for him and your family! <3
Torrie @ To Love and To Learn says
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, especially during an already-stressful time in the world right now. My father-in-law was in the ICU a few years ago when his body went into septic shock, and he ended up having to have his leg amputated. For two months he was in the ICU, and we had no idea what was going to happen. It was a constant state of worry and stress on top of worry and stress, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I know it’s awful, but it won’t last forever, and you’re stronger than you think. Prayers for you and your family!
Kathy says
Praying for you and your family. <3
Emily says
Hi there. This post touched me. My father, who has lung cancer, was admitted to the hospital (alone b/c of COVID precautions) last night. It’s so sad that my family can’t be there with him. These are such hard times. But being present and taking things moment by moment, all while sending love long-distance, are all we can do.
Sarah says
Oh, I am so so sorry to hear this. Praying that he will be able to come home soon! Yes, every emotion is OK. There is not a playbook for how to do this. Although it sounds like your dad could inspire one!
Kelly says
God bless you all ♥️ Praying for your dad and your entire family!!!
Stacey says
Thinking of you Brittany and sending many prayers <3
Sarah says
I will be thinking of your father, hoping he can come home soon.
Erin says
Praying for you all right now. Hugs from CA.
coco says
praying for your family!!!
Lisa says
Thinking of all of you. We’re in a similar situation, my dad was taken to the hospital 10 days ago. My mom has only seen him through the outside window in ICU. He is now in the rehab area, which is on an upper floor, so she hasn’t seen him since last Thursday. It’s heartbreaking, and sucks to be so far away (they’re in IL). Whatever you’re feeling is absolutely fine. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and know that there are a lot of people thinking about you and your family.
Amy says
Sending prayers up.
Kim R says
Praying for you and your family. I cannot imagine the heartache you are feeling. Know that we are all here, supporting you and praying💕
Katie Shottes says
All the prayers to you and the family ❤️
Ann says
I have been praying for you every day . I know it’s so hard I have been through it. The best advice I can give is let yourself cry for a bit then get up and get yourself busy with a task. Sending lots of prayers and love from Texas!!!
Laura says
I hate to hear this. I’m so glad your mom was able to get to be with your dad eventually in the hospital; no one should have to be battling alone. I know even under “normal” circumstances, a time like this can be heartbreaking. Sending love to you and your family.
Kathleen says
Sending positive energy, healing and strength to you and your family.
Eva says
Thinking of you and your family Brittany <3.
One thing that struck me is how your dad always commented on every post of yours. Will miss seeing his comments. <3