Yesterday was a very challenging parenting day. I don’t mean that in the way of tantrums or power struggles, I mean it was a day where you feel the full weight of what it means to be entirely responsible for someone else’s well-being. And it was scary.
I don’t feel comfortable sharing all the details, but over the past couple of days, Hailey had a cluster of different symptoms that had her not feeling well- very odd for her. Several different factors came together and after seeing three different doctors, we were being sent to the hospital for a CT. I’ll cut it right there and say that we thankfully did not have to end up getting the scan, thank goodness, but for an intense few hours, everything else in my world fell away.
She is sleeping now with the doctors saying that they think everything is resolving. She went to bed being silly and trying to stall, all good signs to me. Still, yesterday’s experience sticks with me and reaffirms my outlook on life– if you and the people you love are healthy, nothing else matters.
Sure things are important- we all must discuss and manage our money, we all have busy lives and scheduling conflicts, we all get tired and stressed, but I got a peek (a minuscule one) into what life might be like with a sick child and my heart has never felt so heavy for the families that have that as their day to day reality.
Parenthood is full of so many ups and downs and experiences like yesterday make me stop and evaluate my priorities. It’s tough to balance how much time you spend on work and responsibilities versus time you just spend on fun. It’s challenging to know how much money to spend on present day needs/fun versus saving for the future. I get stuck between work your tail off now so you can play later and just relax and enjoy today. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have it figured out, or if just trying to perfect the balancing act is life itself.
All I know is that I am so grateful right now and no messy house, unattended to emails, dirty dishes, unfinished projects or early baby wake ups can shake that.