A year ago today I was scheduled for an induction. Being a week overdue, my doctor strongly suggested it and I was put on the schedule to come in early morning on the 15th. I still had high hopes of going into labor on my own, especially with a big storm and a barometric pressure drop, but no real contractions came, just a call from the hospital at 6:00 am to let me know they were full. Apparently the barometric pressure had worked for everyone but me and I was getting bumped.
That day was hard for me. I struggled with emotions. The disappointment, the exhaustion, the excitement and fear battled within me. However, the morning of the 16th, everything felt right and David and I were overjoyed when at 2:04 pm our baby girl came barreling into the world.
Somehow a year has passed since then and I sit on the eve of the one year celebration of the birth of my last baby. I am undeniably filled with emotion.
The joy I have in my heart is indescribable. Of course being the sentimental person that I am, I am also experiencing the bittersweet feeling of time passing too quickly. I often wondered about this day- how would I feel/handle our last baby reaching this milestone. I pictured me crying over old pictures and holding the girls tightly to relieve my nostalgia-induced meltdown, but now that I am here, it’s true, I am overwhelmed by emotion, but just not the ones I foresaw.
I am grateful. Grateful that I have two healthy children. It’s not a blessing I take lightly and holding onto this is what makes all the other stuff seem small.
I am happy. Kaitlyn has brought so much laughter to our family already. She is small and feisty, full of spunk and adventure. She’s cuddly and loving but keeps on our toes. She is going to be a force to be reckoned with. Watching she and her sister interact and bond brings me more happiness than I ever would have thought.
I am excited. This emotion has surprised me the most. I thought I’d spend today looking back, but instead I am looking forward. A new chapter is opening up for our family, as we are over what I loving refer to as ‘the baby hump.’ And though I will feel a small ache inside when I see so many of my beautiful friends welcome their new babies into the world, I am ready. I’m ready to welcome more adventures, more learning, and deeper bonding.
I’ve learned over the past few years that you can never really hold onto a moment. No matter how many pictures you snap or videos you take, you’ll never be able to relive that exact moment and feeling again. So it’s best to follow the old adage and just live in it, soak it up and keep rolling. Instead of dwelling on the fact that life moves on, I want to embrace it and remember how fortunate I am to have a first row seat to watching these two incredible girls grow.
Happy Friday everyone! I hope you have some cake coming your way this weekend too 😉
John J. Stathas says
Wet eyes over this post. Your heart is so eloquent! Hugs later today for all three of you lovely gals.
Jennifer says
Aww, I know how you feel. My 2nd and last baby is turning 9 months old this month and time is just flying by!! My husband got snipped b/c we know deep down that 2 kids is enough for us; but not gonna lie- I still get those pangs everytime I hold one of my friend’s newborns!! It is exciting though to know how much fun lies ahead though as they get older 🙂
Karen says
Happy 1st. Birthday to Baby K.
Jodi says
Happy Birthday to sweet Kaitlyn!!
So funny you say ‘last’…. I was just snuggling with Emmy who woke up and then asked that I lay with her and she drifted back to sleep. I laid there snuggling with her, listening to her deep breaths, the sounds of her paci squishing as she sucked on it and thought ‘Am I sure she’s the last???? Are we really done??? I don’t want this to ever end!!!!’ ugh. But man, too much fun we are having and to be had. I think I will get through the summer of fun trips and cocktails and then say for sure the answer I inevitably know…
Have a great weekend with your family and girls!! We sure are two lucky ladies!! 🙂
Al says
Perfect. Post.
Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers says
Brittany, this was such a sweet post!!! Kaitlyn is so adorable and I just love how your pictures of her perfectly capture her happy personality and spunk! She is such a sweetheart and I’m so thrilled for the adventures you will have with your two girls as they continue to grow, learn and play!
Christy says
Love this post! I was 100% done after my second girl was born, but definitely had moments when I thought, is this really my last baby? Luckily my spirited 3 year old and rambunctious almost 2 year old remind me daily why two kids is plenty! 🙂 I am doing my best to live in the moment, which involves spontaneous trips to the park instead of preschool, messy art projects with no boundaries, running naked (them, not me) through the sprinkler on warm spring days, and making cake pops for a Friday treat. I’ve realized how much I have to be thankful for and, day by day, how it truly does get easier and how much I have to look forward to with my two little girls. Knowing that I really am done brings me a sense of peace and a renewed commitment to this whole mom thing.
Happy Birthday Kaitlyn!
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for sharing this comment Christy! I really feel the same. I’ll think I want another, then my days are so full with these two that I just don’t know how I’d do it. So I am enjoying looking forward to all the fun to come instead! 🙂
Brynn says
What a sweet post. Your little girl is so beautiful and your posts over the last year have been a wonderful way to capture all of her change and growth. What a year!
Mary says
This was really sweet. I am due with my first baby at the end of July. While I can’t wait to meet him/her, I already dread the baby days passing too quickly so I want it to slow down.
Heather says
That was such a sweet post! The time with the second one seems to go by so much faster! I hope you guys have a great weekend celebrating your little girl! I can’t wait to see birthday pictures!
Danica @ It's Progression says
This is so sweet…happy 1st birthday to your sweet little girl!
Morgan @ Managing Mommyhood says
So sweet. My son’s first is 11 days and it’s so bittersweet even though. Happy first birthday to your little lady!
Marjorie @APinchOfHealthy says
Awwww, happy birthday Kaitlyn!!! *sniff* So sweet.
Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine says
Such a sweet beautiful little girl! Congrats and happy birthday!!!
Laura @ FitMamaLove says
Beautifully written! Happy birthday Kaitlyn! It sounds wonderful to be at peace with the stage where you are at. I think I’ll always want a third baby and will hold out a small amount of hope for awhile even though I know we are done. The kids getting older does bring so many more new adventures, though, and that’s definitely something to look forward to!
Michelle B says
OMG you’re going to make me cry! I can’t even believe my tiny little newborn, that I basically had like yesterday, is going to be one in less than a month. Seriously, where did this year ago? Why didn’t I have more time with her?! Working moms guilt. I will miss my little baby sooo much! I already do. But I look forward to the little toddler that she’s becoming! Happy First Birthday baby K 🙂
Sherri says
So well written. It’s definitely a mixture of emotions when they turn one. It’s crazy to look back at their photos and see how much they have grown in a year. Hang in there and Happy Birthday to your sweet little one 🙂
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
What a beautiful post! Here’s to all the new adventures this coming year brings!
Kathy says
Sweet! Have a wonderful weekend of celebrating! and Happy Birthday to that little girl. 🙂
Caitlin says
So sweet, i don’t know if you even remember me but my baby (1st) turns 1 on the 22nd. I found your blog when I was pregnant and loved following you during that since we had such close due dates. And through that I have continued to love following, watching (both) of your children grow. Anyways- thank you for that. And hope I don’t come off as weird? Anyways (anyways twice I know) happy birthday Kaitlyn!!
Ps- last baby? What? How’d I miss that?
Brittany Dixon says
Not weird at all! Happy almost birthday to your baby!! <3
PS- last baby is a relatively new development but a pretty firm decision... I think 😉 (Ah, I'm all over the place haha)
Heather@hungryforbalance says
Love this! I know I felt exactly the same way when my daughter turned one six months ago. It is so amazing and heartbreaking to watch them grow!
Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says
Awwww happy birthday Kaitlyn!!! She’s such a cutie 🙂 I hope you guys have a great time celebrating!
Sara Dagher says
Hey Brittany, since you’ve mentioned this is your last kid, could you touch on the birth control options you prefer? Are you using anything long-term?
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Sara, That decision is not completely made yet, though we are considering long term options. I didn’t get my period back after Hailey until a couple months after I stopped nursing, so that’s working for now (though I am aware it’s not 100% so we are using other methods). Long term I am considering an IUD or David getting a vasectomy- we shall see! I wish there were easier, non-hormonal options for BC!
Morgan says
“you can never really hold on to a moment.” this really stuck with me. Very nicely written. Happy birthday, Kaitlyn!
Kathryn Doherty says
Aww, so sweet! And bittersweet. But with my second, I’m like you, I’m just excited for all that’s to come. I know I’m done having babies and I love loving on my friend’s babies, but I’m also so happy to be so far along in this journey. (My oldest turns 4 this weekend – how do I have a 4-year-old?!) So many joys with each new stage and so much to look forward to. Congrats on reaching this milestone! Celebrate big! XO
Brittany Dixon says
I love hearing that you are happy where you are! Last night I looked at David and said, it’s really nice knowing we are going to bed and will mostly likely sleep all night. It’s the little things 😉
H will be 4 in September and I also wonder how the heck I’ll have a 4 year old- haha! Such a fun age though, isn’t it?!
Ilane says
Happy birthday K! My little guy turns one Sunday! I have enjoyed reading about K throughout the year especially as our babies are so close in age.
Brittany Dixon says
I hope your baby boy had a wonderful first birthday celebration!! Congrats!!
Shari says
Happy Birthday to your little sweetheart! 🙂
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me says
I seriously cannot believe it has been a year already since baby Kaitlyn was born! I remember anxiously awaiting to read a blog post from you saying you were going into labor (not in a creepy way, I promise), but it has been an utter joy to follow along your journey as a family.
Kelli says
I am a few weeks away from giving birth to my last (planned) baby, and I loved reading this. It feels so strange to be almost done with this part of my life, but I am so excited for the next steps 🙂 Thank you for your honestly and your blog. I truly love it!
Elizabeth evans says
Happy birthday Kaitlyn! Every time you write about her I think of my little Lana. Determined, independent, adorable, smart, spunky baby girls will definitely keep you on your toes.
Marie-Sophie says
Beautifully writren! I hardly ever comment and mostly just take in and read but this post somehow feels realky special. Youcaptured and described everything just so beautifully. <3