In my most recent “what I’m doing for my health” blog post, I mentioned that I was meeting with my OB-GYN to discuss HRT (hormone replacement therapy). We had actually met and chatted about it a couple times before but I never felt quite ready to try anything.

I was hesitant for two reasons. First, I wasn’t having any severe symptoms. Sleep was fine enough most of the time. I had a few more mood swings than I remembered having in the past, but who doesn’t, right? My luteal phase was a increasingly more challenging with fatigue and less patience, but oh well. That happens, right?

Second, I really hate the idea of being reliant on anything. I get the irony that I take cod liver oil and vitamin D regularly and depend on that for immune support, but something about a prescription felt different to me. This is just my own mental block.

After another good conversation with my practitioner and plenty of assurance I could stop at anytime if I changed my mind, I was prescribed 100mg of micronized progesterone (bioidentical) in the form of a capsule to take once a day at bedtime.

I was cautiously optimistic it would be beneficial, having heard that 1/3 of women feel it’s their saving grace, 1/3 can’t tolerate it because it makes them feel terrible, and 1/3 don’t notice any kind of difference. Well, thank my lucky stars because it turns out I’m in the former group. Insert cheesy flexing pic here because every post needs some kind of image.

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I wasn’t even sure what I was expecting. Perhaps a little leveling out of my emotional ups and downs? What I’ve experienced is so much more.

I started taking it while on day 3 of my cycle because that’s the day I filled the prescription and was told to start that night and take every evening (no cycling it). Immediately I started sleeping super well. I slept hard and woke refreshed. Little things that were minor annoyances before (the dog snoring, David breathing) no longer seemed to interrupt my ability to sleep.

I also began noticing I felt more even-keeled. I was less bothered by things. I’m trying to think of the best way to explain it; almost like something frustrating would happen and my response would be “oh. ok, well, no big deal.” Cool as a cucumber.

A friend of mine who had her own experience with progesterone said it made her almost too mellow to where her husband was concerned because she didn’t seem to care about much of anything. While that is not my experience, I could see what she meant. I just feel generally unbothered, but still am able to experience emotional ups and downs, it’s just not the more dramatic swings I was experiencing before. I feel more capable of handling stressors.

The weirdest realization to me is that while I would not have said I felt anxious before, I am now wondering if I was having some anxiety that I didn’t really realize? This may sound like weird example of this, but whatever, I’m sharing anyways:

I don’t love watching myself on camera. I love people and connection, but posting myself on Instagram stories had slowly become more difficult. I would analyze the way I said something and sometimes just go delete it right away because I felt uncomfortable (or anxious?). This had not been the case for years, but over the past 12-18 months I noticed it creep up. I just felt cringy posting and it made me feel uncomfortable (again… anxious?)

Since I started taking progesterone, I am feeling fine to just show up and share. I don’t care to rewatch it and think about what people may be thinking if they watch it. I just feel free to be me. And I don’t really care what people may be thinking. It’s so freeing. I feel like ME again. So maybe I was experiencing some anxiety and it manifested itself in withdrawing? I truly don’t know.

It’s made me wonder if I was experiencing more low level anxiety than I realized over the past year or so as I’ve noticed my hormones fluctuating. Because somehow that tiny 100mg progesterone has made me feel more like myself than I have in quite a while.

I don’t love that I’m making this thing out to be a superhero, but I’ve just been pleasantly surprised at the results. I felt them immediately, but wanted to make sure I got through a whole month (not just follicular phase) before reporting back. And now I have!

How does this stuff work? My understanding is that at 43 years old my personal estrogen is still strong. My natural progesterone levels may be a bit erratic since the body only produces progesterone after ovulation, and at this classic “early perimenopause” stage ovulation can become irregular. So the oral progesterone is helping keep my level more steady.

Shocking to none, I am not a doctor, so experts feel free to weigh in here and also if it’s something you’re curious about, find a good doctor in your area to talk to. Hormone support in our 40’s and 50’s definitely seems to be an area of rapidly growing interest and expertise.

I guess I just want to share this as openly and honestly as possible because I’ve been so encouraged by my 40+ friends sharing their hormone changing experiences (the good, the bad, the supplementing with HRT, and the going without HRT). I also think about some situations where people I know have gone through a “midlife crisis” or made drastic, life-altering decisions right around their mid-40’s and wonder if hormonal fluctuation was a factor and understanding/support could have made a difference?

Like my OB-GYN told me, every woman is different, which is what makes HRT challenging. It’s not a one size fits all and personal needs can change overtime.

This is just my story of my first month and I hope it’s helpful. <3