I love being a mom. In today’s world of raw honesty, that can surprisingly be a rather taboo thing to say. The posts that get shared on facebook are often those that talk about hiding from kids, chugging coffee or begging the clock to fast forward to bed time. I get why those are popular; there isn’t a parent out there that hasn’t felt those things at one point or another.
//pauses to sip coffee and check that secret closet hiding spot is still intact//
However, if you ask me if I like my life, even with the fear of being that obnoxiously happy person, most days I will gush that there isn’t anything else in the world I’d rather do. And it’s true. These years of being home with my girls will undoubtedly go down as some of the best years of my life. They are so filled with joy. I love being the one here to give hugs, plan our days, cook our meals and just be with them. This life just fits me and for that I use the often-hated-on #blessed.
When I say statements like that though, it can feel isolating. It seems like the adolescent form of female bonding via bashing one’s own body has transformed into bonding via bashing one’s take on motherhood. You’ll get many hugs and sympathetic nods if you say your kids are driving you crazy, but say that you had an awesome day with them and you’re bound to get at least one raised eyebrow and a polite half-smile.
I’ve often wondered if I, in fact, am actually the oddball (don’t answer that…), but over time I’ve realized that me shouting how much I love being a mom isn’t inauthentic. And it certainly is not because I have it all together (bahahaha), but rather it’s because I’ve discovered I have a very severe case of mom amnesia.
Let me explain…
I’ve often heard a particularly sassy four year old ordering her sister around, which is met first with compliance, but quickly turns into an emphatic noooooo which is displeasing to the older sibling and results in a boldly stated fine, you can’t play with me then! and a door slam.
Yet somehow all that remains in my mind from the afternoon is…
Our Target trip often includes a nice little pouting fest because none of the two-seater carts are available. Instead, the girls decide they don’t need it because they can just as easily squabble over who gets to sit closer to the front side of the cart. There is begging to get out and toddler teeth marks on packages of things I hadn’t originally intended to buy.
Yet, when I think back on these outings, all I recall is this:
There are often scraps of paper littering the floors, sparkly glue dried to the table, scissors that come dangerously close to giving the girls a free haircut, fighting over the red crayon despite the fact there are over 400 others to choose from and paint dried on the dog’s back.
Still, when I think back on art time, all I see is:
A sweet can I help you mommy? quickly turns into incessant questioning of why can’t I open the oven/stir the boiling water/use the sharpest blade we own.
But when I think of cooking together, the picture in my mind is this one:
So friends, even though I sit here currently with bite marks on my shoulder from a particularly colorful before-bed tantrum (from the FOUR YEAR OLD), which I quickly followed up with a generously poured glass of wine after proclaiming I was not having a drink until the weekend (bahahaha), somehow the only memory that remains from the day is this:
Mommy amnesia, I tell ya.
So while I don’t think I will ever fit into the camp of complaining about motherhood, it’s not for the lack of daily challenges to my patience and sanity. It’s because I suffer from mommy amnesia and I just can’t help it. All that sticks in my mind is the sweet stuff.
And I’m ok with that.
I love this so much. While I’m still finding a balance between work and motherhood, I am not one to bash it either. I love that that’s the things you remember…they’re the best parts!
I totally agree with mommy amnesia! I think that’s why people have more than kid. The baby stage can be touh but it’s also great. When my three year old is having a tantrum and my second is due in May, I remember that those a fleeting moments and in the end it’s worth the snuggles and I love yous. You have to look on the bright side or you’d lose your patience if you didn’t.
What a positive outlook to have, not only in raising children, but in all walks of life. Remember the good, fun, positive happenings. Love the pictures of those sweet girls!
Love this post! You are so right, its almost fitting nowadays to say that your life is crazy busy, and kids are driving you nuts. Its almost like having a badge of honor who complains the most.
Thank you for making me realize that yes days can be crazy and chaotic but its what you choose to remember that makes everything so right. Its Ok and actually awesome to say that Yes, I love being home with my kids. Truly the best days of my life! Thanks for being so real !! Love this 🙂
I too, believe I have a case of mommy amnesia! Welcome to the Club my friend!
That last picture 😍
Parita @ myinnershakti says
Love this post! I really enjoy reading about your take on motherhood. I know it’s not all fun and games but I appreciate how you highlight the fun/fleeting moments. Makes me excited for what’s (hopefully) to come!
John J. says
What a great blog. Sherry said it best – and lived it. Ditto
Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy says
Love this! I love staying home with my baby and often feel odd for not complaining about it. My days go by much faster than when I worked in a cubicle in the corporate world! I feel so blessed to be where I am, and it’s nice to know that others feel this way too. Sometimes it feels like the only way to fit in (online, at least) is to complain (Scary Mommy comes to mind). I also loved being pregnant and felt strange for admitting that!
❤️❤️ I can totally agree with you that I love motherhood. I literally only wanted to be a wife and mom growing up and I feel so blessed to be living my dream. The days are long (very frequently!) but once bedtime hits, all we ever sit and talk about is how amazing our boys are. ☺️ I also quit weeknight wine for 2016…it lasted about 2 weeks. I think it encourages the mommy amnesia, so we should keep it up!
Brittany Dixon says
I feel the same way- like I’m living my dream, and feel so grateful! Let’s get together soon and cheers with a weeknight wine… you can call me an enabler, but that’s when the best deals are anyway 😉
I could not love this post more. That’s such a true observation about feeling like you need to talk about how hard motherhood is to almost relate to people. I know for me, there is guilt in being able to have more time with my kids than others do so I play it off. You are so right though. Cheers to you! And Cheers to Mommy Amnesia!!!!
Love this! Even after a crazy day or a rough bedtime routine, my husband and I love to sit back at the end of the day and discuss the highlight reel of the kids’ day. Its hard not to feel blessed when you think of the happiest points of the day. 🙂
I love your outlook on Motherhood and life in general. That is why I come here each day to read your posts. As someone who is yet to be a mother but aspires to be a SAHM someday (soon) it is uplifting and just plain wonderful to read your posts on the topic. All you ever hear are the bad things and that is just not how I imagine it to be one day, so thank you for your honesty and for being so real and always looking on the bright side.
Katy H says
I think we live in a time of extremes. The articles and videos that go viral and the things that are shown on the news are all extremes. Social media has really played into that idea of extreme opinions, and that’s one of my problems with it (and the reason I’ve had to just step away a few times). Either you’re a Republican or a Democrat. Somewhere in between? Then you’re a traitor to both. Either you love being a Mom or you are barely making it through. I think reality, for me at least, lives somewhere in between. But that’s not the “cool” answer. And posts and articles like that won’t get a bunch of hits because they’re not extreme enough. My answer to all the extreme? Just do you. It’s okay to be happy, but it’s okay to be sad. But don’t let someone else make you feel bad for feeling any one way.
This! There are no gray areas anymore.
Brittany Dixon says
Such an interesting point Katy! There doesn’t seem to be much room for the in-between and I like that take on it. You are right, the ebb and flow of reality isn’t nearly as exciting or sensational as the extremes and therefore often gets overlooked. Thanks for your insight!
This is such a sweet post! I love your honest and your positivity. I totally agree with you, Why not remember the best moments and celebrate them? So well put.
I love this! This is something I will definitely try to keep in mind. Thanks so much for sharing.
I LOVE this post!
Jenny Pittsburgh says
This post is fabulous. I don’t know if it’s because it was so hard for us to have a family but I feel like I’m in the minority bc I don’t want to call my kids A$$holes. I love being a Mom more than I ever imagined and my kids, while sometimes challenging, are so amazing. Not every day is perfect but every day is pretty darn fantastic!
But yes, coffee makes me a better Mom :).
UGH I can’t stand when I hear people refer to their babies as A$$holes!! It makes my skin crawl.
Brittany Dixon says
Cheers Jenny because I feel the same way! Do they drive me crazy sometimes? Of course, but to me they are the coolest people to get to hang out with all day… even if I still need that glass of wine at the end of the night 😉
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma) says
I love this post! Your outlook on life and motherhood is so positive. I imagine that there are many hard/challenging days for you but it’s great that you choose to look at the good that came from the day and not focus on the bad. Hope those bite marks go away soon! 😉
I really liked this post because even when my kids are throwing huge tantrums or whining, I can’t help but remember the funny comments they made or the sweet hug and kiss they gave me. No one is perfect and kids are going to test our patience it’s what they do; no need to dwell on it. 🙂
Such a great post and so true!! I love the “step stools”? that your daughters are using in the picture where they are painting. Where did y’all get those? That would be perfect for my 18 month old!
Great post! It’s really all about balance… It’s okay to have days where you aren’t a fan of being a mom, but hopefully you’re having just as many days where you really love it, if not more of the latter. I do sometimes share the bad moments, but more often I love to share the really funny and great moments. You bring up a great point that people feel like you aren’t honest if you say you love being a mom. I feel like what used to be a few funny and humorous posts here and there about moms hiding from their kids and posting pictures of kids screaming mid-tantrum has in many cases gone overboard. I don’t want my kids to find a bunch of posts and pictures that might one day make them feel uncomfortable and question whether I really enjoy being a mom. Maybe I’m overthinking it, though. Anyway, I like the posts that have balance. Sure there was a tantrum or two and maybe some frustration, but hopefully in the midst of all that you’re looking past the unpleasant and finding the joy. Love that you are able to do that. 🙂
Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says
I love this, because it reminds me that dreaming of being a mom isn’t a bad thing, even if it’s different than what a lot of girls my age in NYC are doing. Those smiles melt my heart!
Brittany Dixon says
Not a bad thing at all! I had a great time in high school and college but always felt I was cut out to be married and a mom. Nothing wrong with that! You do you 🙂
I’m so in love with this post!!! I’m not one to “brag” about loving anything. But when you down play it, you begin to believe it. Thank you for reminding me how awesome I think my kids are. I’m going to develop mommy amnesia and stop trying to fix the arguing and tantrums. And I may need to re read this at times as a reminder. Thanks again. Love the pictures.
All of the yes. Mommy amnesia is real. This morning my son was so fussy, but when I said goodbye he wanted to hug me and give me a million kisses. On the ride to work all I thought of was that moment wrapped in his arms covered in oatmeal kisses.
YES! I feel the same way and absolutely LOVE being a mom. I’ve never been a big complainer and I always see the positives in life. I’ve had many people in my life not want to be my friend because I don’t like to sit around and bash other people or hate on life. Yes, motherhood is hard but I choose to focus on the positives and that’s what I remember.
Brittany Dixon says
I’ve been in those situations too Sara. It’s so uncomfortable and I just can’t stand to be around it anymore. Too much negative energy! I love that you focus on the positives! 🙂
Lynn Thow says
I just read your blog post and watched your periscope!! Change the channel…I love that. I’m past the season of life that you are in as I’m know a mom of 3 teenagers. You truly get it. I think we all could use a little more of the mommy amnesia.
I’ve never met you, but I truly think you are a breath of fresh air. Please never doubt your scopes. I always enjoy and take away something new.
Lynn Thow Concord, NC
Brittany Dixon says
Lynn! I didn’t know you were so close to me- small world 🙂 I really appreciate your encouragement (especially with the ‘scopes as I still get so nervous!). Please send me all your teen tips. Goodness knows I will need them! 🙂
Thank you for writing this, and I agree completely!!!
Absolutely LOVE this post and needed it!!
I LOVE THIS POST. I think this post is exactly why I enjoy reading your blog so much. Your approach to life and motherhood is so genuine and authentic! Your girls are so lucky to have such an amazing mom in their life 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Best compliment I’ve ever received- seriously. Thank you <3
Fantastic post (and comments thus far). Even my pediatrician advised me to tone it down with my joy and ease I found in the newborn days. Meeting new moms in so many various states of being totally overwhelmed did make me feel isolated in my joy. Whats resonating now for me is for the first year of my daughters life I worked full time outside of home and spent maybe 2 hours a day with her. With that kind of time, its easy to stay focused on the positive. I then switched to a job where we have 4-5 hours a day and I work 7 hours from home while she is in daycare. Still positive. I’m likely transitioning to full time SAHM when our second baby arrives and one of my fears is without the separation, I will be overwhelmed and not able to feel as much joy because our time together will be unlimited and I will be solely responsible for the good, bad and ugly. It’s great to read this post and feel more excited about this change as its really about outlook and we develop mechanisms like ‘amnesia’ to keep in a positive mindset.
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations on your second baby on the way! That’s so exciting. Honestly, it probably will be a little overwhelming at first with two transitions at once (SAH and second baby), but as with any transition, you’ll figure out how to make it work for you. It sounds like you’ve been to focus so beautifully on the positive side of things thus far so I feel really confident that you’ll keep that same mindset as a SAHM. Best of luck to you! <3
I love your approach to motherhood and to life in general. I wish I had more mommy amnesia, and I wish I focused more on the positive, happy times instead of the tantrums. The past few days have been and accumulated into a pity party this morning, so this post was EXACTLY what I needed to see at this moment. Thank you for reminding me that while it may not be all rainbows and butterflies all the time, that doesn’t mean this ride isn’t totally amazing! You encourage me to be more grateful, and to focus on the happy stuff, so thank you for that! Your girls are lucky to have a mom like you to spend their day with 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Kristin I just love how you put it- that the ride is amazing. That’s so true, as it is quite the adventure full of ups and downs. If you’ve had a few down days in a row it just means you’re due for an upswing 😉 I hope it comes your way soon- Hang in there mama! <3
Hi! Can I ask where you got your learning towers for your girls from? My daughter will be 2 in march and I have been on the hunt for one but have no clue where/ what to look for.
Thanks so much!!
Brittany Dixon says
David actually built them when I showed him the learning towers and he saw their price 😉 He actually took measurements and pictures and I hope to turn it into a blog post soon!
Sweet and truthful post. I think we all have it! 🙂 The good always out weighs those tough moments and they grow WAY.TO.FAST!!
My kids are 21 and 24, and I have always felt the same way that you do about being a mom. So blessed! I have cherished every moment of their lives. And the amnesia only gets worse as time goes on. All you ever remember are the good things. Good for you for appreciating your sweet little girls and every moment with them. There is no gift better than that.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Tracy, I love that you’ve always felt that way! Sometimes I get nervous that I’ll miss the XYZ stage when it’s gone, but then I seem to enjoy the next one just as much. I hope it continues and that I am saying the same thing when my kids are 24 and 21. Thanks for your comment!
Brittany, your post today brought to mind one of my favorite quotes: “it’s not happy people who are thankful, it’s thankful people who are happy.”
Holding on to the sweet moments and letting go of the hard ones is what allows us to enjoy (treasure) these precious, albeit super challenging years with our babies. It’s a necessary survival skill of motherhood.
Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful, loving reflections.
Brittany Dixon says
I love that quote and fully believe in it! Thanks for sharing it <3
Love this post! Hilarious & sweet at the same time. 🙂
I wouldn’t call it amnesia so much as savoring the important moments 🙂 Thank you for sharing your daily LIFE with us including the “YAY!” and “Crap!” moments. You are a good mom!
This was adorable.
Loved this post!!! I’m a mom of 4 teens and have absolutely loved and cherished my time at home with them. I’m the mom that is as excited about snow days as my kids are….love love love xmas break and summer break…. depressed when it’s time for back to school. Enjoy your time with the girls (it’s obvious you do!). It goes by so quickly!!!
Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood says
YES! Oh man, yes. My husband makes fun of me for this all the time. I can send him pictures all day of tantrum city, and when he come’s home and asks, “how was Ryan today?” I’ll say, oh he did the cutest thing, he was so good, blah blah blah. Even if the second I put him to bed I plopped on the couch and laid there for 10 straight minutes doing deep breathing to get my act together. It’s the little, sweet moments that make motherhood so amazing, and I’m so happy to be able to concentrate on those rather than the non-stop craziness that can be little kids.
This is lovely. And funny. But the sentiment of loving motherhood despite the chaos or tough moments — I so feel it! I often wonder why bashing motherhood has become so popular. I know it can be a coping mechanism, but sometimes it’s too much. Anyway, loved the post! Wish me luck as I’m going to be welcoming my second daughter in a few months…love seeing your two girls’ adventures together!
This was such a cute post! I hope to be half the Mom that you are when the time comes!
Heather @Fit n Cookies says
This post is the best one I’ve read in so long. I love the message you send. The moms who are so happy with their kids are the ones I find I’m attracted (?) to. I’m definitely going to keep this in mind! At the end of the day, it’s the sweet moments I remember. Like today, the smiles I got when she woke up, the giggles when I picked her up, the hugs after she’s crying and I get her. Those are the best!
I love this! I don’t have total amnesia. I do remember the challenging moments (almost 4yr old and 16mo old girls) but the beautiful ones far outweigh the hard ones. Just hearing them giggle at each other makes the tantrums or fights seem so minor. The days are all in all wonderful and the challenging moments definitely don’t seem as bad in hind sight.
Fantastic post!! I love it!! And I think I might suffer from the same amnesia 🙂
I love this. It is so spot on. Some days – like yesterday which was day 3 of sick, no sleep baby – it is terrible. Other days are true blessings. And most are a happy mix of both. I couldn’t imagine doing anything esle though.
Yes! This post spoke to me so much. I’ve never been able to relate to the “Woe is me. Being a mom is soooo hard. Must drink all the coffee. I don’t have time to shower or even brush my hair!” attitude that I see on other blogs or in online articles. Do I have bad days where coffee and wine seem to be the only answer? Absolutely! But it’s not everyday. I prefer to choose joy and appreciate the little moments with my daughter that I know are fleeting. More than anything I’m so thankful to be able to say that I’m mommy to the coolest little one year around! Clearly, I have a major case of mommy amnesia.
This is the most heartwarming post Brittany! Why do we live in a time where we are made to feel guilty or shame for being really, truly happy? I love the authentic voice you’ve found on your blog and I can honestly say from knowing you virtually and in real life that the REAL you shines through in both places! xoxo
What a great post and even more importantly, a great reminder to me to cherish all the happy moments. I have a bad tendency to focus on the negative, which was never how I planned for this SAHM gig to go! We had two kids in less than two years (now 15 months and 3) and some days I really do feel like I’m losing my mind. But all I ever wanted to be was a mom, and I am SO grateful to be able to stay home with our kids. Maybe starting a gratitude journal would help me to gain a little more “mommy amnesia” myself. The love is so strong, but the days can be long! I love your positive outlook on parenting, even with all of its challenges.
So many of the “mommy wars” seem to me to be based on people’s need to justify their own decisions/choices. I wish people would just own their choice & stop trying to explain why it’s best for them. Often no matter how much they try to avoid it, the tone comes across as their choice is the better one.