Oh my friends. What a weird world it is right now.
I have been, which I assume is similar to you, all over the place emotionally over the past few weeks. I started off so strong and really wanting to help you in anyway I could, so I pumped out my favorite resources for at-home learning, shared how I’ve managed to make working part time from home happen while homeschooling, and compiled your best dinner planning tips for during quarantine. I got excited to talk about the movies we are watching with the kids so we could all focus on the togetherness silver lining of this hard time.
Then, my personal roller coaster took a nose dive. My Grandma Betty passed away and we don’t have the ability to celebrate her life the way we want to right now. We’re all planning on getting together for her birthday in August, but who knows what we can really plan right now.
After that news, the weather turned and it was cooler and rainy. David continues to have to go work at the hospitals, which I’m both grateful for (income) and super frustrated with at the same time. I’ve probably been on my phone too much reading the latest news updates, too, which never helps my mood, and I’ve found it harder to be motivated to do anything during the day.
I’m doing better today, but am well aware I’m still on a roller coaster, same as you. I’m forcing myself to focus on the things I do have control over (which doesn’t feel like much right now). However I can choose to be off my phone. I can choose to get dressed. I can choose to bake cookies just for the heck of it, eat them as part of dinner, and have the girls not be able to fall asleep until 10:00 PM because of the sugar rush. #truestory
I’m trying to stay motivated in my work, too. Like so many others, revenue is lower because of marketing dollars being cut or put on hold. I also don’t know whether to write content I hope can be helpful to you or to transition back to sharing the mundane details of our day to day. Should I spend more time here or less? Are people reading blogs right now? I’ll be honest, I’m reading just a few.
I’m frustrated that my normal optimistic demeanor is being challenged daily, but grateful that my heart is still finding a way to look for the good. I’m glad I’ve made gratitude a staple in my routine because gosh darn it, when I look for things to be grateful for, they are certainly still there, shining brightly. My family, our fortitude, our home, our access to food.
Another gift? The gift of perspective.
Have you seen that meme that says “in the rush to get back to normal, consider which things are worth rushing back to.” I might have mixed up the wording, but I feel that way about several things. This time has given me the gift of more deeply considering where we spend our time and money. We’ve been able to contemplate if those things are really additive to our life, or if they were just habits we created along the way. When this is over, I’ll be curious to see how we all rebuild. It’s like we’ve been forced into a reboot, and similar to a good closet clean out, I’m carefully going to consider each item before I put it back in or not.
Whew, I’m chatty. Like so many others, I’m craving connection right now so thank you for letting me have this little solo therapy session in this space. It’s amazing how writing out concerns lifts them up and away, even if it’s just temporary. It can feel hard to share what we are going through right now because there is always going to be someone that has it harder than you. In the online space, with so many people hurting, I’ve noticed that some people are quick to point out the ways their situation is more difficult. That makes me feel like I don’t deserve to feel what I’m feeling, but that’s not true.
There is a big difference between complaining and talking about what you are experiencing. And I’d encourage you to talk about it. My hard is going to look different from your hard, but there’s no award for who has it worse. Your feelings are valid and the best way to get through the lows is through sharing and connection, so don’t push those feelings down.
Today is April 1 and for us, the sun is peeking through. We’re spending a lot of today pulling pranks on each other. I made the girls a tray of “brown-Es” (cut out of construction paper) for breakfast. Hailey made a mask from a paper plate to pretend she was a monster logging on to her Zoom history class (April fools!). And Kaitlyn told me she was dressed then burst out of the stairway in pajamas yelling APRIL FOOLSSSSSS. In any light, it’s giving us a lot of reasons to giggle today. 😊
That’s the latest from here, but I’m going to be hanging out in the comment section of this post now. And I’d love to hear from you. What’s going on in your world right now? What are the blessings? What are the challenges? What are your worries? What are your blessings?