Feeling a little introspective today, so bear with me, but… isn’t life crazy?
Though some days seem to drag by, one day you wake up and it seems like decades have passed you by in the blink of an eye. I had a moment like this yesterday. I took Kaitlyn, all clean and snuggled in pajamas, into her room to nurse before bed. I’ll admit that I often use this time to scan emails or read blogs, but yesterday I left my phone behind in favor of a quiet moment with my baby. It was cloudy outside and she snuggled up to me, letting out a heavy sigh and closing her eyes. I smiled and brushed her soft baby hairs behind her ear. I started thinking about how I could commit these moments to memory, but knew that slowly they would fade with time, just like they’ve done with Hailey. Certainly fragments and poignant moments remain, but overall I keep trying to live life in the present and work on savoring moments rather being so worried about preserving them.
My mind wandered to how I got here. Not the physical here, but this station in life. So much of me still feels so young, and in many ways I know that I am, but the hard facts say that I’m 31 years old, married, with two children. That still feels so bizarre to say out loud. It’s like my life is happening and progressing without me even noticing it. Wasn’t I just in college? (Newsflash: no) But then I realized that that isn’t really true. I put a lot of effort into trying to live with my goals in mind and letting that intention guide me to the decisions I make. Sometimes I am fully conscious to make choices based on larger goals and ideas, but I also often get sidetracked with the hustle and bustle of life. The appointments, the dirty floors, the light bulbs that need changing… it is easy to let those things distract me. And I find after too many days or weeks in a row of the hustle and bustle distraction, I need a conversation to help me refocus on the why of it all.
I’m grateful to be married to a man that is as big on living with intention as I am. In fact, in many ways he has probably helped me fine tune my focus. We both want big things out of this life of ours, as I’m sure many of you do too. We often comb over our dreams and pinpoint where we are on the road map that should get us there. It may sound monotonous to some (I promise we aren’t super dull… doth thou protest too much?), but checking in every so often helps keep us focused, excited and making choices that will ultimately get us to our next step.
In no way can any of us control everything in this life, so I try to focus on what I can control. Like we all do, I have limited time, so I try to fill my calendar with purposeful activities. I make time to meal plan and cook because they directly impacts the health of my family, which is a top priority of mine. After all, my ideal life plan has them all intricately included for, well, ever. I make time to work out because it’s vital to my physical and mental well being. I find time to have a glass of wine and conversation with David, as well as quality time with the girls and trying to see family as much as I can. I make time to blog and meet up with friends because it’s my social outlet and connection… and I so crave connection. David and I do our best to take great care with the decisions we make with our money. Sure we’ve bought the random thingamajig here and there and paid an occasional stupid tax, but we also adhere to financial plans, live within our means and save like crazy. All steps to inch us forward towards our dreams.
I don’t have it all figured out and I certainly don’t always maintain a constant, steady balance (as I’ve documented here many a time), but while rocking Kaitlyn I had this whole conversation (pep talk?) in my head about living with intention. Because I don’t want to time travel again and be 10 years down the line without being closer to our family goals. So on the days I feel run down or overextended, I take inventory. I ask myself, are the ways I’m filling my days helping me to become the person I want to be— healthy, family-focused, giving, kind, hardworking and goal oriented– or are they unnecessary stresses? Asking myself this helps me filter out superfluous clutter and refocus on what ultimately matters.
Do you feel you make decisions with intention?
What are some of the goals you have for your future?
John J. says
One of the best blogs you’ve ever written. As I end each of my articles with the Socratic quote of “The unexamined life is not worth living”, you are a living example of putting such intention into practice. No wonder you and David have created such an amazing life! Thanks for sharing and, hopefully, motivating other to live a life of intention.
sherry says
Wow-so beautifully written. Time passes so quickly and sometimes I wonder how I got here. It seems like just yesterday that I was nursing my baby girl, looking at her beautiful toothless grin, and wondering what her life would be like–would she be healthy & happy? So proud of her (and her older brother) and so happy to be a part of their worlds.
Maryea {Happy Healthy Mama} says
I have similar thoughts often. I love the questions you ask yourself that you mention at the end. I know at times I need to be more mindful of if how I’m spending my time is getting me in the direction I want to move.
Brynn says
beautiful. I swear I just had this conversation as o came to a crossroads in my life. Living with intention is my daily and also life goal. When I took a step back I was able to see what I was doing and where each path would lead me. I know what I want out of this life and its because I live with intention to the best of my ability.
Allison says
Thank you for this! I am an avid reader but I rarely comment, and today I felt the need to say thank you for the important reminder. My goals for my family are pretty much exactly the same, so it was so helpful to see such a reminder so succinctly and accurately captured. You are a great mama, and you are doing a great job! I think we all need that reminder from time to time as well.
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for taking the time to comment Allison! I really enjoy hearing what you and others think because it turns it more into a conversation that a one sided monologue 😉 Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Ashley says
Amen. This is why I love you so much. When I think about weighs on me in life the most – it’s exactly this. (I realize that I am blessed that this is my greatest struggle/worry. For that, I am grateful.) The magnitude of how much I want to live in the moment and soak up each memory while keeping life’s big stuff in the priority spot can be overwhelming at times. I think you’re doing great, Britt.
Haley says
What a great way to start a morning. I will be entering my senior year of college at the end of this month, and often think about what my life will hold after this crazy journey. I admire your mentality and love the idea of having long term goals all while continuing to enjoy the small moments that bring a smile to my face!
danielle says
You’ve alluded a few times now about your financial/personal goals and how you guys are really dedicated to your “plan”. I would love to see a post that maybe details what your big end goal(s) is(are), perhaps without dollar specifics, why they are so important to you, and any sort of concrete steps you guys are taking. I know you have mentioned saving a lot, but do you guys have specific tools that you use for your budgeting? How do you make it all work with two littles?
If that is way too personal, I get it! I just have two little boys who are about the same ages (3.5 and 2) and we have some loft goals, too. I would love to know how other families make it work!
karen says
I would love to see this as well.
Brittany Dixon says
Love the feedback and questions! And sorry, I really don’t mean to vague blog, as I know that’s kind of annoying. I’m not sure I’m really ready to lay it all out there online as money and such are such sensitive topics (again I know that sounds vague and I’m sorry!), but I can tell you that our goals include having more time to spend with our girls as they get older, possibly homeschooling and a lot of travel.
As for budgeting, we do have Quicken, though honestly I think it is kind of a pain. More so, we talk about money a lot, seek advice from advisers/experts and keep an eye on our spending. We max out retirement, live debt free, look for ways to work harder/earn more and invest in different ways so all our eggs aren’t in one basket.
Sometimes I wish we could all meet for wine and talk more openly about these topics, as I’d love to hear about your lofty goals as well!
Cassie says
We definitely have big plans too, and it is easy to get bogged down in the daily little challenges. Mostly I’m just grateful we are living our dream…. even if we are not all the way there yet.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh Cassie, I love how you said this!! I feel the same way- like I’m living one dream while working towards the next. Love that you have big plans too!
Kate says
Love hearing your thoughts.
The church I attended in college constantly talked about “living intentionally”- intentionally spending time with friends, intentionally greeting people at work, intentionally completing your job, etc. It made a huge impact on me and everyday I forget to live intentionally I regret the moments I missed.
Kristin says
Beautifully written! It’s SO easy to get lost in the day to day grind, and I find myself kinda buried under the list of obligations I have. Many days I’m just trying to make time to come up for air! I have moments where I think “I need to concentrate on the things that serve me and my family best” and not get just so lost in all the things. This post was a good reminder to spend more time living intentionally, focusing on the bigger picture and less of the nitty gritty. It was also an important reminder to focus more how certain things impact our lives in a greater, less superficial/materialistic way. We just bought a new house, and I find myself spending too much time thinking about how to bedazzle everything, when I really should be thinking all the memories we’ll make here! Thank you for the kind reminder!
Brittany Dixon says
Congrats on your new house!! When we first moved in here 5 or so years ago, I had the same overwhelming feeling of oh gosh it needs XYZ, etc. 5 years in, I can tell you there is still plenty to be done, but we’ve chipped off little things along the way. Though we can’t decorate worth a darn, I stopped trying to make things picture perfect and have just accepted and learned to enjoy that our house feels like us.
So happy for you and your new home! 🙂
Maria says
Such a sweet moment with K! There’s something about cloudy and dreary weather that makes me feel a bit more introspective and I love that about those days (that I don’t get nearly enough of in always sunny California!).
Since we were very young and dating, my husband and I have always had big goals for our life and it’s so exciting to see them play out bit by bit, seeing us reach new milestones that were only just a dream a few years ago. Like you, we save and we save, probably near to 70% of income with goals of retiring in the next few years from conventional jobs and living in the country. We want our future children to have fields to roam in, streams to play in, and wide open spaces. So whenever I get caught up in hustle and stress of Silicon Valley life, I remember that what we are doing now will afford us our dream lifestyle. At least, I hope so 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
I can’t tell you how much I’d love to sit down and have dinner with you. I just feel like a lot of our mindset aligns. How about next time you visit NC, you swing by Charlotte?! 😉
Elizabeth says
I’m dying to know your goals!
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, I never realize that I sound so vague!! I really don’t mean too. Maybe we can find a time to get together when I’m in GA sometime and I’ll chat your ear off about them 😉
Dani @ Dani California Cooks says
I try to use life events to think about goals (New years, birthdays) but I think it makes more sense to evaluate more often. I loved this post!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
I love this post! I have so many goals! I’m slowly chipping away at achieving them, slowly but surely.
Jessica @ Mission: Healthy, Happy Life says
This was fantastic ! We have big plans and goals as well…one being moving to an area that’s beautiful so we can spend time outdoors, exploring with the boys, relishing in the beauty of what God has made. We don’t have too much scenery here in north Texas. 😉
Sometimes I forget to live my days with intention…I get caught up in keeping up with the day to day chores…just getting things done and moving on to my next task. Thanks for the reminder to remember what’s really important!
Catherine @ foodiecology says
I love this!
I’m in a similar season of life (31, but only on kid #1, haha) and I’ve been trying to live with more intention, too.
It’s easy in theory but tough in practice! Ever since my son was born last Oct, I’ve tried to soak up the moments and memories, but even so, it’s going by soooo quickly!
One thing I do to slow down is take a walk outside during my lunch break. Even in 90 degree temperature, it’s worth having a few minutes to relax, look at nature, or chat with other walkers I’ve come to know.
Iradis says
Hi Brittany! I read every blog post and rarely comment but just had to take a few extra minutes from my day to tell you THANK YOU for this reminder. Everything you’ve said about living with intention 100% resonates with my mindset and it’s nice to know that at almost 31, married with two kids as well that I’m not the only one who feels like questioning the purpose of what we are doing now as a family in order to reach our future family goals. Our favorite money guy says this: “Live today like no one else so that you can live tomorrow like no one else.” Dave Ramsey ?
P.s. Not sure if you’re into (or have time for) podcasts but if there’s one I would recommend is The Lively Show, particularly the episodes which talk about living with intention. I think you might enjoy them.
Ashley says
Thanks for this post. It was such a great reality check as some days can come and go and getting caught up in the world of a stay at home mom that I forget about what my true intentions of being a SAHM were all about. I know you get help with the girls by using a babysitter once in a while but do you get help with household chores like having a housecleaner? Just wondering if that helps ease the burden of the large to do list…? As housecleaning seems so daunting to me when so many other things make my priority list each day. Thanks for this great post.
Ruth says
A really lovely post. I so hear you with trying to hold onto the precious moments with my kids. Especially since having #2. But it’s true, like you said, about being present.
My hubby is the master of intention, especially when it comes to conversations. I’m more free flowing but I find I get more done and feel better in general when I’m more intentional.
We are working towards having a good work life balance. We’d love more time as a family to explore our beautiful home, the Blue Mountains.
Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says
I really loved reading this on a train back from the lakes yesterday. My friend and I were talking about how we are beginning new jobs soon where so much is expected of us, and how we both want to have families of our own and to make the most of life. Having those big talks and really existing to try and live each day with the bigger picture in mind will be crucial so we don’t wake up one day and wonder what happened!