Happy Friday Friends! I’m sorry I have been absent from reading all your wonderful blogs this week. It’s been kind of a crazy week here at A Healthy Slice. Today is no different, but check back in on Monday and I can tell you ALL about it 🙂
Since this post will be short and sweet, let me share with you some of my favorite jokes. Feel free to use these over the weekend if you want to make your friends laugh roll their eyes and groan. 😉
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his earring?
A: A-buck-an-ear!
…(say it out loud…. wait for it… ok, roll on the floor laughing)
Q: What did the fish say when he ran into the brick wall?
A: DAM!!!
For all us healthy living people…
A man walks into the doctor’s office with a piece of celery up his nose and a carrot in his ear. The doctor takes one look at him and says,
“You’re not eating right.”
Another pirate one… I don’t know… I like pirates.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s wheel on his crotch.
Bartender says “man, that’s looks uncomfortable”
Pirate says “arrgh, it’s drivin’ me nuts.”
What is your favorite joke??
Have a WONDERFUL weekend!! 🙂
Katie @ Healthy Heddleston says
I guy walked into a bar….. OUCH!
christina says
What kind of cheese doesnt’ belong to anybody?………NACHO cheese! hahaha i’m dumb!
Melissa says
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it. Ahahahah, I got that in fourth grade from a friend’s dad.
Even better:
Two women met in heaven. They were having a conversation on how they got there. One woman said, “I thought my husband was cheating on me and one day I came home early and found him home. I looked all over the house for the other woman. Under the bed, in closets, upstairs, downstairs…everywhere. As I was not the most fit person and all the excitement of not being able to reach the truth of finding the other woman I had a heart attack and died. So tell me, how did you end up in heaven?” The other woman responded, “I was freezing cold and shaking and all of sudden bam I was dead.” The first said, “well what do you mean, what happened?” She responded, “Giiiiirrrrrrl, I wish you would have looked in the freezer because I froze to death and we would both still be alive!”
I heard that one a few weeks ago during lunchtime lounge talk. 🙂
Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen says
There were two muffins in the oven. One muffin turned to the other muffin and said, “Hey, it’s hot in here.”
What did the other muffin say?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or, you could go with the “What’s brown and sticky?”
“A stick” 🙂
Nichole says
It’s official, you’ve lost it:)
GO DAWGS!
Blond Duck says
I love the jokes! 🙂
Holly @ couchpotatoathlete says
A wife turns to her husband and says “I wish my boobs were bigger honey.”
The husband says “well, why don’t you take a tissue and rub it in between your boobs a few times per day. That should help.”
The wife says “ok” and does just that. After about a week of rubbing a tissue between her boobs she says to her husband “this didn’t work at all, they look the same to me!”
The husband says “hmmm. That same method sure made your ass bigger!”
OK OK, it is a horrible joke but I think it is hilarious — especially since my mom told me that joke.
Have a great weekend Brittany!
Mary @ Bites and Bliss says
haha the pirate ones remind me of my aunt- she’s ALWAYS sending pirate jokes!! Her latest was “how much money did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer!”