Heading into the thick of the holiday season is such a beautiful, fun, festive time. I’ll be honest with you though; I’ve been emotional for… a couple months now. I turned 39 in September and I am wondering if I’m personally trying to stretch this whole year into a midlife crisis? Crisis sounds immediate and dramatic, and I don’t feel that, but emotional? Yes.
I stare at the kids daily and wonder how we got here; they are getting so big so fast. I don’t have toddlers to worry about potty training or eating vegetables anymore. Parenting is less physically demanding, but more emotionally demanding now (am I guiding them well, teaching them what they need to know?). I’m spending more time just sitting with them, brushing evening tangles out of hair and listening to what’s on their minds.
I’m looking at David and noticing a few grays pop up in his beard and want to just quit everything and take off on a giant adventure with him. I want to live big and do it with the people I love while we’re all feeling energetic and healthy.
I want to simultaneously take on 100 new projects and quit everything. I want to find a way to make time just stop for a month. I want to go do all the things and see all the people and yet at the same time I want to just cozy up at home with my family and shut out the crazy world.
I want to travel with my mom and somedays I still really, really miss my dad. Time just flies and I want to figure out how to make the most of it.
So November goals. Perhaps number one should be find a therapist? Half kidding
- Pick three a day. I have a master “to do” list and each day I go in and pick three items to focus on for the day. That’s IT. It might feel like not enough sometimes, but I find three items is enough to move the needle forward and still make time for the necessary daily tasks and some margin.
- Keep meals simple. I’m not in a season to create new recipes right now and I need to just embrace that. Even if I’m sharing dinners on IG, they can be simple. Last night I shared our Indian takeout- ha!
- Embrace the cozy days. If a slow and rainy day arrives, I don’t want to push through it; I want to breath it in and enjoy it.
- Clean out the closets. I have piles of stuff I’m just waiting to figure out what to do with, but I’m over it. Donate, giveaway, throw away. I am ready for a more peaceful space.
- Let Christmas slip in. Not sure when we’ll pull out decorations but if a rainy day presents itself I will not hesitate to turn of a Christmas flick. So many good ones and so little time!
- Just keep sharing whatever comes to mind. Somedays I feel a bit of an identity crisis in this space. I don’t have the chubby, cherub-faced toddlers to share about anymore, I’m not creating many new recipes in this phase of life, and sharing the health information I find fascinating (like how to balance blood sugars- my A1C and fasting glucose/insulin in my most recent blood work were the best they’ve ever been) feels preachy or like I don’t have enough letters behind my name to share that kind of info. Is there a space here for a mom in a busy season of homeschooling and life, just sharing about the day to day?
Quite the impromptu little vent, huh? Thanks for listening. <3
Yes, please keep sharing! As a fellow homeschoing mom it is enjoyable for me to read your blog posts and capture your meal ideas on IG. You have a friendly way of writing that makes others feel like we know you in real life and a level of authenticity that is not as prevelant online anymore. Keep sharing- your words are definitely valued!
Don’t worry about having an identity on this space. I think you do! Your a great mom, awesome cook and you share about your life and your kids homeschool adventures. Your blog is my favorite and I’ve been reading since…2011?! Maybe earlier but definitely since then. Also I’m surprised David only has a few grey hairs. Haha my David is turning quite the salt and pepper at 36 but it’s so handsome and distinguished. 🙂
Well now I just want Indian takeout 🙂
Brittany! I so resonate with your words. I turned 39 in March so I am on the downhill slide to 40 and I have found myself so reflective and concerned leaning toward panicky re: all of the areas of my life and have I done enough and should I change no I should be content but am I doing Enough and so on and so forth to infinity. It feels more important than ever to be as healthy as possible in all the areas….probably good I’m talking to my therapist today.
I agree. I love your writing, advice, recipes, etc so keep doing what you’re doing! Sharing something medical is helpful too because you never know how that might help someone going through the same thing. We watched Home Alone last weekend and on accident I found 98.9 while driving my husband’s car last night. To my surprise Christmas music was playing so left it there for him to find this morning lol.
Kelly Meyer says
Loved this post and all the feelings you shared. I can tell you as a 46 years old mom with my oldest now in college (yikes!) I’ve experienced this same feelings over the past few years, probably since 40….the urge to take advantage of every moment and simultaneously want to just stay home and slow down/relax with my family. Might be normal since you are transitioning from having younger to older, more self sufficient kids. It’s definitely a different chapter of your life as a mom/person so let yourself move into it the next phase with Grace. It has been challenging for me and I know I’m not alone. Lots of love to you and your family. You’re doing amazing!
I like when you share what’s going on in your life, no matter what season. I just enjoy your presence on here, it makes me feel like I have a friend. I enjoy seeing the girls, your family, your recipes and cooking videos, and learning from you! You are a bright light in this space and in this crazy world! Please keep sharing.
Your blog is my favorite blog. I have children a couple of years older than yours and while I don’t homeschool, your thoughts and feelings and how you parent and “do life” completely resonate with me. I absolutely Iook forward to reading your blog every single day. It is a place of warmth and inspiration and I admire you for what feels like authenticity. Unlike many other bloggers, you are not chasing the latest Amazon trends, or living life FOR your blog. It feels like you are living your life and then sharing it. While the difference may seem subtle I think it is profound. Thank you for being you. And thank you for sharing all parts of life in this space. 🙂
Please keep the everyday coming. I think we all probably share a lot of these same feelings and emotions. I’ve learned each stage is a good one, just a different one.❤️
so much YES! Nodding in agreement the whole time. Thank you for being vulnerable.
It’s so comforting to hear someone in a similar stage of life articulate the feelings that come with this season so well. You have a gift with words and I love that you share it!
Also—I would LOVE to hear your experience with balancing blood glucose/insulin markers, as I’m working on that right now as well.
Hug! This all resonates SO much. I am so so thankful for your vulnerability and honesty, I relate to so much here. So nice to have someone talking about actual life! Your blog and thoughts MATTER <3 I think you are amazing and so inspiring!! Keep doing you.
Lauren T Jones says
Keep sharing YOU, we love it! 🙂
Well written! 🙂 and YES keep sharing what ever you feel like. I love reading your blog. 🙂
I can relate to this on so many levels. I’m 44 and I keep saying I feel unsettled. I just can pinpoint the right words for it. Emotional- yes. Wanting time to stand still- yes. My kids started middle school and high school. So many emotions, so many difficult conversations. Please keep sharing! I am been a reader for a long time. Whatever is on your heart. I love to read and follow along.
I too turned 39 right around when you did (sept 24!) and I agree with so much of how you’re feeling! I love your posts and have been reading for over a decade probably. When talking about your posts to my husband I always refer to you as my “north Carolina blogger friend” 🤣
Also, Christmas music came on in our house November 1 and we spent today decorating ☺️
I’m on a blood sugar/:dr mark hyman kick right now and would love to read any info you’d be willing to share about your journey!
As an answer to your question! Of course there is! I love your blog, I had my first daughter at the same time you had Hailey and I love watching how your journey has evolved! I am 39 as well, but I am pregnant with our 4th child with a 6 year gap since my youngest. I honestly don’t know where i belong! I love your blog and I have been inspired to eat healthier and homeschool because of you! Keep doing what you are doing the world needs more of your positive light!
I’m here for this, and right by your side in so much of it. I just turned 40 a couple weeks ago, and can say that it didn’t feel as big of a deal because I had done a lot of processing on it in the ~2 years beforehand….sounds like you’re right there, too!
Yes there is space for you sharing your busy life!! I want to give you a hug and tell you what a wonderful mom, daughter, wife, and friend you are. Take the time you need to be in the moment. Some of the moments go by slowly but all the years go by much too quickly!
Turned 40 this year, and oh my goodness yes, most of the same feelings! I have a 4-year old and a 9-year old. I start to hyper ventilate when I think about the fact that there is only 9 years left before the 9-year old will probably leave the nest. It feels like we have just survived the toddler year (perhaps because we have a bigger age gap between the two kids), and can now only get onto more family fun stuff (and we have to be quick before the teenage years hit lol!). We even took the leap this year to buy a bigger family home, as we feel, that if we were to wait any longer to do this, there will not be enough time left for the whole family to enjoy the additional space together. My cousin also passed away at age 52 this year due to cancer which was only diagnosed in January 2022. A real eye-opener to enjoy every day with your loved ones (but also the pressure…if you know what I mean).
Emily S says
oof, sob fest over here reading this. I turned 40 this year and am also having ALL the same feelings. My kids are still toddlers so a different phase for sure but I am feeling all the anxiety of making decisions that are charting the course of our and their lives so meaningfully (new house, schools, parenting in general, etc). It’s hard not to let the doubt and worry of uncertainty overwhelm. That’s why I love your space on the internet – its real and relatable and fosters a sense of connection in this ever-unconnected world. Reading your post and all the comments remind me that we’re all in this together and that life is a series of ups and downs and challenges and joy and navigating the in between. I love to see how you are navigating these different seasons, so I think it’s totally fine to just let this space be what it is in the moment. Thank you for sharing!
Oh my goodness, I love your day to day sharing! I have chosen a kiddo-free path, but still enjoy your insights on parenting; it helps me understand what my friends are experiencing! I appreciate you sharing how you navigated hope, sadness and grief through your dad’s illness. My dad had a stroke while he was voting 10 years ago, and I cry every Election Day when I leave the polls (and probably get some weird looks, but who cares!). I’m not usually pressed for time, but love your easy-to-follow recipes and meal tutorials. You just don’t get a lot of authenticity online anymore, and I find you to be a breath of fresh air!
Maureen Tovey says
I love reading your blog! Keep on:)