My first instinct was to get on here and tell you about my peaceful Sunday, but the truth is I’m showing up with quite a cluttered mind this morning. It’s all my own fault, too. But before I jump into that, let’s back up for minute and chat about the weekend.
Mom came into town on Friday and we were all so happy to have her here for pizza and game night. We made several pizzas (two batches of my bread machine pizza dough) and played Catan. It was a downright lovely way to spend an evening.
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Emotional Whiplash: The Cost of Consuming Everything
Saturday had a relaxed start, but an emotional journey. The upside is we found a great home for Duck and Nugget, our two Buff Orpington roosters. The downside is that I felt super sad about it. I definitely cried. I have this weird thing that I want to be able to explain to them that they did nothing wrong and that I wish I could keep them but that this is what is best. I worry about them knowing where to eat and sleep at the new farm (it’s huge).
Is this all logically ridiculous? Yes. But I can’t help it; my caretaker heart really misses seeing them in the coop. And yet, there is a part of me, too that feels relieved that we found them a good home and it’s behind us now.
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There were upsides to Saturday, too! Both girls played some great soccer matches and we had a great lunch at Lefty’s watching Georgia clench the win over Kentucky.
Sunday morning K woke up feeling congested with a sore throat and I we started the “is it allergies or a cold” dance. She started on hot tea and I heated up some chicken soup from the freezer, and the kid wellness pills of course. The day that followed was a chill day that was much needed by everyone.
I spent several hours in the kitchen making soup to stock the freezer, cooking veggies, baking pumpkin bread and sourdough. The clouds made for excellent You’ve Got Mail watching weather and I loved that H joined me for most of it. It was cozy and a slow kind of productive, culminating in shrimp fajita bowls for dinner and a hot bath.
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That all should have added up to the most peaceful Sunday ever, right? And it was. Until… I went scrolling.
I have been doing really well with staying off my phone. Doing so results in such a more peaceful existence. But last night I went down the Tiktok rabbit hole and ended up being blasted with all of it: Taylor Swift album reviews, flotilla interceptions, LA and Portland “music festivals”, Hillary Duff as Tucker’s latest Sally, Italy being shut down, terrorist threats, and of course a few funny donkey videos thrown in for good measure.
For a solid hour I was sucked into this crazed internet world where I gain nothing and end up wondering what of all this is even true. It left me feeling quite unsettled and kicking myself for giving into the scrolling. The aftermath is more questions, no answers, feeling honestly scared in some ways, and contemplating if all this disconnection we feel is because we are all living in completely different realities fueled by what the algorithm is feeding us.
In some ways opting out feels like sticking my head in the sand but on the other hand opting out is where I find peace and the ability to pour into my family and community. There’s no way God designed us to be able to handle seeing the most horrific tragedies of the world followed immediately by puppy videos. It’s emotional whiplash.
It’s time to go put a loaf of bread in the oven, but if you’re up for chatting, share with me your experience with scrolling. Do you partake? What’s your app drug of choice? Do you abstain? Why and how?
Amber says
Good morning! I’m right there with you… it is an emotional whiplash and I believe God did not design us to consume this much information and emotions at once. He is all-knowing, not us! I only use Instagram now as I have a few valuable accounts (including yours!!) that are helpful with meal planning, homeschool ideas, etc. but otherwise, I stay off. My kids are still young (11 and under) but they are observant of phone behavior so I am trying to model now what I will expect from them in many years when they have phones. I also feel like my time with them is going so fast and I don’t want to look back and say I missed out because I was scrolling or mentally someplace else instead of with them because of what I had just consumed. Easier said than done but talking about it with others is always a good reminder. Hugs to you and hope you have a wonderful week 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for your input! I like the idea of curating my “follow” list to helpful things (food, garden, design). That’s definitely easier to do on IG (and why I should just stay off of Tiktok). Solid point about the kids observing behavior! It’s definitely something I’ve considered a lot, which pushes my scrolling to the evening when I’m in bed, but that’s also when my willpower is weakest and I’m looking for easy, mindless entertainment. However, I need to commit to team Frasier and The Office for light entertainment and less social media 🙂
Joanna says
I only have FB and I can’t even deal with that anymore. I also try to follow only helpful pages like yours 🙂 but we all know other posts creep in. I’ve mostly stopped with FB, especially posting things like vacation pics and the like and it’s actually freeing. I don’t have to post things we do and it’s ok! I make it a point to not have my cell in reach when I’m with the kids watching a movie they like. Savoring cuddle time on the couch versus being sucked into mindless scrolling. Hugs to you and let us know if you get any updates on the roosters and their new home.
Brittany Dixon says
I totally know what you mean about thinking “I don’t have to post the things we do and that’s ok!” I find myself posting things sometimes like who caressss what I’m doing and feeling like I should only share helpful stuff, but then I don’t want to lose the personal connection I feel with my online friends. I’ve constantly debating how to do things right on social media, but I don’t feel any of that with the blog. I feel like I get to just show up, share, and connect.
Joanna says
And that’s why we love your blog and follow along! Thing is, I might not post much on FB anymore but enjoy seeing posts from people like you or friends, etc. It’s so hard because I want to cut the cord but then feel like I might miss out on a post that I’d love to see. :-0 In your case I’m guessing social media goes hand in hand with having a lifestyle blog. But I’m sure you can pick and choose what you want or do not want to share. I agree with your comment below, can SM not exist anymore?!
Santina says
My best follows are Heather Cox Richardson, @SharonSaysSo, and Real News No Bullshit. They give news without opinions, just facts. It helps with the whiplash.
Missy says
Excellent choices!
Brittany Dixon says
I have followed a few “news not opinions” accounts before but noticed that even those can begin to feel a little tainted by what news they choose to report/focus on and what they don’t. And others that started neutral but slowly shift into inserting some opinions over time. But I look forward to checking these suggestions out further when I decide I want to pull my head out of the sand 😉 Thanks so much for the input!
Grateful Kae says
I’ve been actively struggling with this more and more lately too. My “drug of choice” lol is good old fashioned Facebook. Ha. It seems to be still be widely used here by pretty much everyone I know in my community/ social circles/ extended family in WI, which makes it harder for me to give up. When I don’t use it I often feel “in the dark” because so many local friends/acquaintances from school etc will post about things like… pics from the local high school rival FB game, Homecoming dance pics, everyone’s vacations, pics from the swim meet we were at, local people announcing where their kid picked to go to college, graduations, etc etc. I generally like to see much of that content, though even the real highlight reel content can sometimes set off a cycle of being in a comparison trap.
The worst though is all of the other “stuff” that gets added in now. My newsfeed is no longer just these real people posting- I get millions of ads, suggested posts, other random click bait the algorithm is feeding me, random news posts and reels and videos…even worse than that is that so much of it now appears to be fake or AI generated! It’s impossible to know what is even real anymore and even some of the “articles” that get fed to you, you have NO idea what the actual sources are, who sponsored the so called research, etc.
Example- For a while I was seeing these posts circulating that would say “(insert name of NFL player) said “XYZ” about “fill in the blank” topic”. It would always be some really polarizing kind of shocking statement. Well, after I saw the exact same “statement” being credited to like 5 different players from different teams, it became very clear that it was TOTALLY fake and it was just being circulated to essentially rile people up! Gross. Anyway that’s just an example of the type of thing I’m seeing more and more online, and are the types of things that are making me want to leave social media for good. (That and just the AWFUL comment sections and constant sharing of inflammatory statements and complete disregard for humanity.)
And yet, I struggle to completely give it up because I do like to see the content from friends and family (*although as stated above, even this can be a really slippery slope. Seeing everyone’s constant stream of successes and amazing things can also not be the best for my mental health, because even though I have plenty of my OWN successes and amazing things, it inevitably can make me feel “less than” sometimes.)
My main tactic of late to avoid is to just completely delete all apps from my phone. Then I reinstall it occasionally, like once a week or so, to do a little check and see some updates. I feel like I’m less likely to engage in all the extra random junk and to start reading comment sections etc when I haven’t seen it in a while- there’s so much to “catch up on” that it’s impossible, so I usually just do a scroll through focusing on looking for big updates from people I actually know. I also tend to have fresh eyes, I think, after not using it for a while, and am more aware of that it’s actually not that interesting.
Basically, what I’m saying is, I feel you and am right there with you. I also don’t know what to do really about it and I also hate it. I have been posting my own “life updates” on FB for so long now (I don’t post that often but will typically always post bigger events like back to school, school dance pics, vacations, holidays, if we do something extra fun as a family like go to a sporting event, etc.). I guess I truly post a highlight reel. LOL. But it feels weird to think about NOT posting those events? Like, my FB life feed would be incomplete! ha. But then again, I have the blog where I post much of the same things. (Though our family in Mexico and many others do not read my blog…). Sigh. I don’t know.
I think I mostly just wish social media never existed. I do think, and feel more and more, that although there are some positives and benefits that come out of social media for me, overall I think it is a net negative.
(*Wow, sorry, I just wrote an entire blog post in your comment section. 😅)
Brittany Dixon says
I’m fully on team I wish social media never existed! Can someone time travel back and make that happen?!
Love reading your thoughts on it all. I like Facebook, too, because it’s mostly connecting with people from my past that I don’t get to chat with as often but it’s fun to see “oh wow look how pretty her daughter looks at homecoming” and “what an awesome vacation; putting that on my list.” But I totally see what you’re talking about with the inflammatory (often untrue) headlines/clickbait from people/companies I don’t follow that Meta weaves in there for some unknown reason.
PS: Are you in NS right now? Hope you have a wonderful time!! 🙂
Erin says
I closed my social media accounts 5 years ago (Facebook and Instagram). It was a wake up call for me that let to that decision. I felt the effects of social media shift slowly from loving to see my friends and families posts and pictures to my mind being filled with thoughts of comparison, criticism, fear, FOMO, insecurity, anger, jealousy, and consumption. My anxiety reached a point that felt debilitating (also due to other factors in my life). I reached a point where I desperately needed to make some changes. I wanted to be a better example to my kids, I wanted to feel like my happy self again, I wanted to love people instead criticize and judge them. Along with some help and other lifestyle changes, closing my social media accounts has helped my mind significantly. I feel more in control and self-assured in certain ways, and that has been freeing. My anxiety has calmed and I found ways to help keep it in check.
There are times when I do feel like I’m missing out, like missing family and friends posts and pictures. But it has also caused me to be more intentional in reaching out to loved ones by phone and text. I’m also able to follow a couple blogs or newsletters that add value to my life. I have been subscribed to yours for almost 12 years! I found your blog when I was looking up baby food and found baby led weaning 😄
This is what works for me and helps me feel more at peace and to have a steady mind. I have friends who are able to have a healthy balance with their social media and I admire them for that.
Erin says
So sorry! I thought I was posting a separate comment. I didn’t mean to reply to a previous commenter!
Brittany Dixon says
12 years!! We’ve been connected for 12 years. That is so cool to me. Thanks for hanging around through the highs and lows.
I really admire you for making that decision and your ability to stick with it. I feel like the social media world just gets crazier and crazier. What started as a natural extension of blogging (here’s a random picture of the cup of coffee I’m drinking) has transformed to a high competitive and critical environment in many ways. There are some pluses and a lot of wonderful people but I think the peace and anxiety free living you get to enjoy far outweighs those pros. I have so much to think about. Thank you for sharing!
Megan says
I completely understand the doomscrolling affect. I logged out, and then uninstalled Facebook on my phone a few weeks ago, and I haven’t looked back. I did it a few years ago, and was off for an entire year, and it really does make a difference. I don’t mind IG as much, but I don’t particularly like Facebook anymore, so getting it off my phone has been great mentally! 🙏🏻
Brittany Dixon says
I think that’s amazing. It makes so much sense to just remove what isn’t serving us, but often it’s much easier said than done. I’m so impressed you just cut that cord to protect your peace.
Karen says
I scroll TikTok as well and you said it so well – emotional whiplash. Hilarious videos followed by sad and devastating world news. I’ve realized I scroll way too much in the evening and it leaves little time for the things I do enjoy like reading. Considering just removing the app altogether.
Brittany Dixon says
Same. I do love those funny donkey videos and I’ve actually gotten a few new songs I love from it, but is that worth the turmoil I feel from the other content? Sigh, probably not.
Ashley Fox says
I have the same feeling as you regarding whether not paying attention is sticking my head in the sand, but I don’t think short little videos that ANYONE can make is the way to take in world news. Additionally, there is no way you can solve all of the world’s problems, even if you have a desire to do so, so you have no obligation to take it all in. You are creating a beautiful life for your family and you spread joy on Instagram and through your blog so keep doing that. Pick something local to focus on and make better, if you need another outlet for making the world a better place. You are aware that bad things happen in the world and you travel so you see these things first-hand. Delete Tiktok. It isn’t worth space in your mind. Thank you for being a good role model in society. I love following you.
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you for kind words; I truly find them encouraging because there are a lot of times I ask myself why I’m even sharing little life things in the grand scheme of all the crazy, but I do truly believe that kind of connection matters. We need to bond over a delicious meal or a pretty holiday or a funny movie because that is where there is simple joy that makes life worth living.
I also appreciate you shooting me straight- delete Tiktok. I have before then I succumbed to it again. I just need to do it again and stick to it, but clearly I am somewhat addicted or I’d just do it!
Monica says
I do not have social media, however my mom does and I’ll occasionally get on her Facebook account while we are visiting over there. It’s awful! Then I think, why am I looking at this when I should be visiting! I try really hard to be an example for my kids when it comes to consumption, so I hope I’m making a good impression! ☺️ most kids in their classes (grade 2, 4, and 5 😳) have phones or some sort of social media at this point and I’m firmly on the stance of NO! Most other parents are surprised our kids don’t have phones and to them I ask (kindly) for them to show me evidence that phones/social media is good for kids at this age! I also find it challenging when their school work is online or on a tablet of some sort. Give me the paper!! I recycle, I promise! 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
I am hard pressed to find a convincing reason for kids to have (smart)phones. I get the communication aspect and for that we have a family flip phone (dumb phone) that I can give to the girls if I want to be able to reach them. That works for us for now. I’ll see how that evolves as they get older. My kids do have computers though (with parental controls) and ipads (that are ours but they can use to text their cousins) so I don’t claim to have it all figured out because I do want them to understand and know how to use technology but definitely don’t want them getting sucked into the world of social media. I think it’s awesome that you’ve abstained!
Laura says
I’ve actually never had to re-home a pet but can imagine it would be so hard, even when it is the right thing!!
Your Tiktok list kind of made me laugh, and then I felt kind of relieved (but NOT smug, because I’ve been there!) that I didn’t know much of anything about any of it. I’ve heard my husband’s (Swift fan!) opinion of the album, and one of my student’s opinion- he’s a major Swiftie and asked that I play it the day it came out when we were cooking. But the rest I really have no clue. I read a quote (on FB!) from Jane Goodall about making a difference, with the gist about individuals making a difference, that small things matter. Anyhow, I definitely don’t have the mental capacity to read about all the news, and I’m fine if that means sticking my head in the sand. But I do feel I make a difference every day in my students lives and with my own family. Since the beginning of August I’ve had to be so intentional with my time, which usually means 5- 10 minutes tops for social media per day. And I don’t use a smart phone, so that helps. The exception to that is I spend the time I need to make my own posts, because I use those for my yearly photo album. All my pictures and writing get made into a book with the click of a button, so I’m highly motivated to keep up with my posts because if I leave something out, I can’t get it in the book. But I’d be fine just posting my stuff on a personal blog, because sometimes sharing online just doesn’t feel right. I continue to live my life most effectively and happily with using a smart phone for 99% of the time. I have a very old, crappy phone that will connect to WiFi and some limited data in a pinch, but I don’t have it connected to my home/ work WiFi and rarely use it as a smart phone (like, a few times a year). I hate to say but that is what I needed to do to get out of the social media circus.
Brittany Dixon says
I always love how confident you are in your decisions and fully agree with you that local impact is the way to go. Making a difference in the life of a friend or neighbor feels so meaningful versus doom scrolling and fretting. I’m so glad you’re new job has you feeling fulfilled, even if your days are busy. How do you post to IG without a smart phone? Is that from the computer?
Maybe I’d be more up to date with my family photo books if I employed your method! 🙂
Laura says
Yes, IG with my PC but I’m pretty sure some features don’t work, like I can’t seem to figure out how to do more than 10 pics per post. So all my photos go from my Nikon to my PC then up to FB and IG. I also was always behind on photo books then I was like, why am I doing all this work, when I already put in the work when posting? I use mysocialbook.com and you can tailor things like what dates you want to include, what posts you want to take out, etc. Other things like layout are done for you, but it ends up looking nice and has all my writing which is really one of my favorite things to look back on. And, it’s done in like 60 seconds, versus the hours/ days it used to take to put a yearly book together.
Katie Paulson says
I can very much relate to this post! For the most part, I have remained off social media and have found that being off outweighs the benefits of being on. For me, consuming the small bits of information didn’t compare to reading an actual book or catching up over a phone call with a friend or meeting a loved one in person. I found that it ultimately made me less productive, creative and intuitive and I didn’t like feeling like it took time away from other things. But I also LOVE connecting with others and learning new things so I choose to do that through podcasts of people I love to hear from, blogs or of course books. Speaking of that, your recommendation of fall jazz music has been such a hit in our house. We love music and our daughter plays flute and guitar but I would have never thought of that and we are loving it. Even our sports loving son wanted ‘Orange colored sky’ on repeat on the way to school this morning! 🙂 So anyways, I’m so thankful for blogs like yours to connect with more than just a short thought and also to share things like your recipes and vacation ideas. Even though we don’t homeschool I just get other fun, learning ideas to do at home from your blog. I honestly was worried I’d miss out on things or people might think I’m nuts but that has never been the case and I feel like for me I can be much more present and a better listener. But anyways, I appreciate your authenticity and your beautiful blog and I love it because I connect with the fact that I believe God called me to care for my family and those around me and I see you doing the same thing and it’s encouraging and relatable. I feel like that was too long but just wanted to share!
Brittany Dixon says
Want to come over for a cup of tea?! I love everything about your comment and feel like we could have a lot to chat about. I appreciate your perspective of FOMO (I have a little of that, too) but in reality it makes me much more attentive to the people in front of me. PS: so glad y’all are loving the cozy fall jazz, too! It’s my constant soundtrack and makes me so happy/cozy.
Mary says
I read a very interesting piece this weekend that included this “We are a nation divided by aalgorithms…We are all getting different versions of reality every time we look at a screen, and it’s hurting us.” It make me really stop and think about what’s reality, and how we are all seeing different news, events, etc.
Brittany Dixon says
I 100% believe this.
Kelsey says
I can so relate to wanting to put my head in the sand and ignore what is going on in the world. Unfortunately, I and many others don’t have the privilege of being unaffected by the current state of politics. I’m a federal employee waiting to find out when I will be un-furloughed and get paid again, reliant on reproductive assistance to have children, etc etc. I try to find non-biased news sources – the best I have found are @mosheh Mo News on Instagram, and Tangle News – and limit the amount of news I am taking in, my goal is a trickle, not a hose. I am not on TikTok at all, and on Facebook and Instagram select “friends only” to limit the nonsense- as someone above me said the fake news is insane!
Brittany Dixon says
That must be super stressful; I hope it gets resolved soon. <3
And thanks for the news recs- I'll check them out!