My first instinct was to get on here and tell you about my peaceful Sunday, but the truth is I’m showing up with quite a cluttered mind this morning. It’s all my own fault, too. But before I jump into that, let’s back up for minute and chat about the weekend.
Mom came into town on Friday and we were all so happy to have her here for pizza and game night. We made several pizzas (two batches of my bread machine pizza dough) and played Catan. It was a downright lovely way to spend an evening.
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Saturday had a relaxed start, but an emotional journey. The upside is we found a great home for Duck and Nugget, our two Buff Orpington roosters. The downside is that I felt super sad about it. I definitely cried. I have this weird thing that I want to be able to explain to them that they did nothing wrong and that I wish I could keep them but that this is what is best. I worry about them knowing where to eat and sleep at the new farm (it’s huge).
Is this all logically ridiculous? Yes. But I can’t help it; my caretaker heart really misses seeing them in the coop. And yet, there is a part of me, too that feels relieved that we found them a good home and it’s behind us now.
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There were upsides to Saturday, too! Both girls played some great soccer matches and we had a great lunch at Lefty’s watching Georgia clench the win over Kentucky.
Sunday morning K woke up feeling congested with a sore throat and I we started the “is it allergies or a cold” dance. She started on hot tea and I heated up some chicken soup from the freezer, and the kid wellness pills of course. The day that followed was a chill day that was much needed by everyone.
I spent several hours in the kitchen making soup to stock the freezer, cooking veggies, baking pumpkin bread and sourdough. The clouds made for excellent You’ve Got Mail watching weather and I loved that H joined me for most of it. It was cozy and a slow kind of productive, culminating in shrimp fajita bowls for dinner and a hot bath.
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That all should have added up to the most peaceful Sunday ever, right? And it was. Until… I went scrolling.
I have been doing really well with staying off my phone. Doing so results in such a more peaceful existence. But last night I went down the Tiktok rabbit hole and ended up being blasted with all of it: Taylor Swift album reviews, flotilla interceptions, LA and Portland “music festivals”, Hillary Duff as Tucker’s latest Sally, Italy being shut down, terrorist threats, and of course a few funny donkey videos thrown in for good measure.
For a solid hour I was sucked into this crazed internet world where I gain nothing and end up wondering what of all this is even true. It left me feeling quite unsettled and kicking myself for giving into the scrolling. The aftermath is more questions, no answers, feeling honestly scared in some ways, and contemplating if all this disconnection we feel is because we are all living in completely different realities fueled by what the algorithm is feeding us.
In some ways opting out feels like sticking my head in the sand but on the other hand opting out is where I find peace and the ability to pour into my family and community. There’s no way God designed us to be able to handle seeing the most horrific tragedies of the world followed immediately by puppy videos. It’s emotional whiplash.
It’s time to go put a loaf of bread in the oven, but if you’re up for chatting, share with me your experience with scrolling. Do you partake? What’s your app drug of choice? Do you abstain? Why and how?
Amber says
Good morning! I’m right there with you… it is an emotional whiplash and I believe God did not design us to consume this much information and emotions at once. He is all-knowing, not us! I only use Instagram now as I have a few valuable accounts (including yours!!) that are helpful with meal planning, homeschool ideas, etc. but otherwise, I stay off. My kids are still young (11 and under) but they are observant of phone behavior so I am trying to model now what I will expect from them in many years when they have phones. I also feel like my time with them is going so fast and I don’t want to look back and say I missed out because I was scrolling or mentally someplace else instead of with them because of what I had just consumed. Easier said than done but talking about it with others is always a good reminder. Hugs to you and hope you have a wonderful week 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for your input! I like the idea of curating my “follow” list to helpful things (food, garden, design). That’s definitely easier to do on IG (and why I should just stay off of Tiktok). Solid point about the kids observing behavior! It’s definitely something I’ve considered a lot, which pushes my scrolling to the evening when I’m in bed, but that’s also when my willpower is weakest and I’m looking for easy, mindless entertainment. However, I need to commit to team Frasier and The Office for light entertainment and less social media 🙂
Joanna says
I only have FB and I can’t even deal with that anymore. I also try to follow only helpful pages like yours 🙂 but we all know other posts creep in. I’ve mostly stopped with FB, especially posting things like vacation pics and the like and it’s actually freeing. I don’t have to post things we do and it’s ok! I make it a point to not have my cell in reach when I’m with the kids watching a movie they like. Savoring cuddle time on the couch versus being sucked into mindless scrolling. Hugs to you and let us know if you get any updates on the roosters and their new home.
Brittany Dixon says
I totally know what you mean about thinking “I don’t have to post the things we do and that’s ok!” I find myself posting things sometimes like who caressss what I’m doing and feeling like I should only share helpful stuff, but then I don’t want to lose the personal connection I feel with my online friends. I’ve constantly debating how to do things right on social media, but I don’t feel any of that with the blog. I feel like I get to just show up, share, and connect.
Joanna says
And that’s why we love your blog and follow along! Thing is, I might not post much on FB anymore but enjoy seeing posts from people like you or friends, etc. It’s so hard because I want to cut the cord but then feel like I might miss out on a post that I’d love to see. :-0 In your case I’m guessing social media goes hand in hand with having a lifestyle blog. But I’m sure you can pick and choose what you want or do not want to share. I agree with your comment below, can SM not exist anymore?!
Santina says
My best follows are Heather Cox Richardson, @SharonSaysSo, and Real News No Bullshit. They give news without opinions, just facts. It helps with the whiplash.
Missy says
Excellent choices!
Brittany Dixon says
I have followed a few “news not opinions” accounts before but noticed that even those can begin to feel a little tainted by what news they choose to report/focus on and what they don’t. And others that started neutral but slowly shift into inserting some opinions over time. But I look forward to checking these suggestions out further when I decide I want to pull my head out of the sand 😉 Thanks so much for the input!
Grateful Kae says
I’ve been actively struggling with this more and more lately too. My “drug of choice” lol is good old fashioned Facebook. Ha. It seems to be still be widely used here by pretty much everyone I know in my community/ social circles/ extended family in WI, which makes it harder for me to give up. When I don’t use it I often feel “in the dark” because so many local friends/acquaintances from school etc will post about things like… pics from the local high school rival FB game, Homecoming dance pics, everyone’s vacations, pics from the swim meet we were at, local people announcing where their kid picked to go to college, graduations, etc etc. I generally like to see much of that content, though even the real highlight reel content can sometimes set off a cycle of being in a comparison trap.
The worst though is all of the other “stuff” that gets added in now. My newsfeed is no longer just these real people posting- I get millions of ads, suggested posts, other random click bait the algorithm is feeding me, random news posts and reels and videos…even worse than that is that so much of it now appears to be fake or AI generated! It’s impossible to know what is even real anymore and even some of the “articles” that get fed to you, you have NO idea what the actual sources are, who sponsored the so called research, etc.
Example- For a while I was seeing these posts circulating that would say “(insert name of NFL player) said “XYZ” about “fill in the blank” topic”. It would always be some really polarizing kind of shocking statement. Well, after I saw the exact same “statement” being credited to like 5 different players from different teams, it became very clear that it was TOTALLY fake and it was just being circulated to essentially rile people up! Gross. Anyway that’s just an example of the type of thing I’m seeing more and more online, and are the types of things that are making me want to leave social media for good. (That and just the AWFUL comment sections and constant sharing of inflammatory statements and complete disregard for humanity.)
And yet, I struggle to completely give it up because I do like to see the content from friends and family (*although as stated above, even this can be a really slippery slope. Seeing everyone’s constant stream of successes and amazing things can also not be the best for my mental health, because even though I have plenty of my OWN successes and amazing things, it inevitably can make me feel “less than” sometimes.)
My main tactic of late to avoid is to just completely delete all apps from my phone. Then I reinstall it occasionally, like once a week or so, to do a little check and see some updates. I feel like I’m less likely to engage in all the extra random junk and to start reading comment sections etc when I haven’t seen it in a while- there’s so much to “catch up on” that it’s impossible, so I usually just do a scroll through focusing on looking for big updates from people I actually know. I also tend to have fresh eyes, I think, after not using it for a while, and am more aware of that it’s actually not that interesting.
Basically, what I’m saying is, I feel you and am right there with you. I also don’t know what to do really about it and I also hate it. I have been posting my own “life updates” on FB for so long now (I don’t post that often but will typically always post bigger events like back to school, school dance pics, vacations, holidays, if we do something extra fun as a family like go to a sporting event, etc.). I guess I truly post a highlight reel. LOL. But it feels weird to think about NOT posting those events? Like, my FB life feed would be incomplete! ha. But then again, I have the blog where I post much of the same things. (Though our family in Mexico and many others do not read my blog…). Sigh. I don’t know.
I think I mostly just wish social media never existed. I do think, and feel more and more, that although there are some positives and benefits that come out of social media for me, overall I think it is a net negative.
(*Wow, sorry, I just wrote an entire blog post in your comment section. 😅)
Brittany Dixon says
I’m fully on team I wish social media never existed! Can someone time travel back and make that happen?!
Love reading your thoughts on it all. I like Facebook, too, because it’s mostly connecting with people from my past that I don’t get to chat with as often but it’s fun to see “oh wow look how pretty her daughter looks at homecoming” and “what an awesome vacation; putting that on my list.” But I totally see what you’re talking about with the inflammatory (often untrue) headlines/clickbait from people/companies I don’t follow that Meta weaves in there for some unknown reason.
PS: Are you in NS right now? Hope you have a wonderful time!! 🙂
Megan says
I completely understand the doomscrolling affect. I logged out, and then uninstalled Facebook on my phone a few weeks ago, and I haven’t looked back. I did it a few years ago, and was off for an entire year, and it really does make a difference. I don’t mind IG as much, but I don’t particularly like Facebook anymore, so getting it off my phone has been great mentally! 🙏🏻
Brittany Dixon says
I think that’s amazing. It makes so much sense to just remove what isn’t serving us, but often it’s much easier said than done. I’m so impressed you just cut that cord to protect your peace.
Karen says
I scroll TikTok as well and you said it so well – emotional whiplash. Hilarious videos followed by sad and devastating world news. I’ve realized I scroll way too much in the evening and it leaves little time for the things I do enjoy like reading. Considering just removing the app altogether.
Brittany Dixon says
Same. I do love those funny donkey videos and I’ve actually gotten a few new songs I love from it, but is that worth the turmoil I feel from the other content? Sigh, probably not.