I consider myself really fortunate that I grew up with a mom that cooked. She also worked full time, but somehow she managed to fill the house with delicious smells by dinnertime. I remember nosing around the pots to get a sneak peek of dinner. One thing I don’t remember, because it never happened, was asking for something different. Whatever was being served for dinner, was dinner, whether you liked it or not.
I’ve taken the same philosophy with my own little family. I’m fortunate that David is a pretty great eater. He may not jump for joy at the idea of sweet potato chili, but he eats it and more often than not, enjoys it. Hailey gets what we get, too. I refuse to be a short order cook.
There are nights that Hailey won’t eat more than a bite of something on her plate (last night it was the edamame). That’s fine with me, though it doesn’t mean she can have a snack 20 minutes later of something else. It’s important to me that she learn to what we eat, so in the future our family dinners are happy times, not me running around trying to fix everyone what they request.
I’m at my parents house right now and arriving here yesterday got me thinking about how fortunate I am that my mom and dad exposed me to healthy foods from the start. I love that when Hailey visits, healthy foods await her, too.
We still have pizza nights and my mom will admit to having dinners consisting of little more than nuts, pretzels and a glass of wine (like mother like daughter), but I believe I have an appreciation and taste for healthy foods because I was exposed early and consistently. I only hope to set the same precedent for my family.
Does your family eat the same foods?
Do you think it matters?
claire @ live and love to eat says
My dad was a great cook, and growing up we ate a lot of “meat and potatoes” type meals. Now that I’m a vegetarian and try to limit saturated fat, even his pasta dishes can be too high-calorie for my liking – but he typically tries to make something I like, and I try to cater to him when my parents come to our house for dinner.
Heather says
I agree that it’s important that families eat the same foods, and eat them together. While my husband and I grew up with very different backgrounds, he’s doing great with changing his eating habits and thanks to our son, we’re both eating healthier than we used to. We feed our son what we’re eating, and he notices if we’ve got different foods than he does, so there’s no excuse not to eat well. Plus, it’s been a lot of fun introducing him to new foods and tastes and encourages me to try new things. I’m hopeful that because we’ve started giving him good foods now, he’ll learn to enjoy what’s on his plate and not refuse it in the future.
Brittany Dixon says
I’ve found the same thing that while looking for new foods for Hailey, I’ve found some new foods for myself along the way! I love that your son notices if you have different foods; they are freakishly observant and smart little ones 😉
Beth Sheridan says
I was raised exactly the same way, and I truly believe that my mother is the best cook on the planet so I never had to worry about not liking something on my plate 🙂
I think it’s EXTREMELY important that families eat at least one meal together everyday whether it’s at home or in a restaurant 🙂
Karen says
I really think it matters. My son is 18 and leaving for college real soon. I can only hope he keeps eating healthy, or at least as healthy as possible in college. We always eat at the dinner table as a family, and very rarely order or eat out. And I have never been a short order cook, for either my husband or son. They eat what I cook or starve.
Brittany Dixon says
I really loved hearing your comment that with an 18 year old son you’ve managed to have family dinners and serve healthy foods all through the teenage years. It can’t be easy all the time and I hope to follow your example and find a way to make it happen. Congrats on your son taking off to college!
Karen says
I think it’s good to eat the same foods but it doesn’t always happen in our house. Breakfast is usually the same for Keely and I but lunch and dinner might be slightly different. Hailey is such a good eater!!
Brittany Dixon says
Well, I guess we don’t always eat identical either! If something it too spicy, I’ll leave it off her plate and sub with something easy to grab (Greek yogurt instead of spicy chicken for example)
Erin @Axell's Kitchen says
We try to, but my husband doesn’t like a lot of “healthy” foods and my one year old is so busy he refuses to eat half of the time haha. It drives me crazy- he would rather just throw food everywhere.
Sarah says
I have a very similar philosophy to yours — I will not be a short order cook, here’s what we’re having for dinner, take it or leave it! I really love the concept of the “deconstructed dinner” for kids from the Dinner: A Love Story blog. (They have one kid who hates eggs, and another who hates pasta, so often the kids end up eating piles of ingredients in the final meal, rather than the actual quiche or pasta dish or whatever they’re cooking that night.)
My mom is a super-healthy eater so I was lucky to grow up with that! She lives in a rural area so we always make trips to the health food store when she comes to visit so she can stock up on her latest healthy food stuff, like flax, chia, etc.
Brittany Dixon says
I am not familiar with the deconstructed dinner, so I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for sharing!
Sarah says
here you go! http://www.dinneralovestory.com/category/deconstructing-dinner/
Kimberly @ Healthy Strides says
I’m a bit shocked H didn’t eat the edamame. Last night, Miles had some and LOVED IT. I try to find a balance between the way Mark would like to eat and the way I like to eat. He’d prefer to have pasta and beef all the time, and I’d probably be 90% vegetarian. I try not to let Miles eat other things as I don’t want to be the short order cook nor fall in the nugget-fry trap (though those are fine on occasion). I save my really fun “me” foods for lunches to take to work or split big pots of soup with my MIL.
Brittany Dixon says
She is hot or cold on foods. I think it’s so funny that one day she’ll chow down on something and not touch it the next. How did you serve the edamame to Miles? I’m always looking for new ideas of how to serve foods!
Kimberly @ Healthy Strides says
It was just popped out of the shell, so to speak. Dinner was actually to-go from daycare because he had started to eat when I got there. And to brag about my provider, it was roasted chicken, edamame and sauteed kale with a side of whole wheat bread. He’s the same way, hot or cold; I bet he’d throw it at me this weekend if I tried!
Brittany Dixon says
Are they accepting more students at his daycare? I’d like to enroll myself, please. Amazing!
Sarah says
that is AMAZING. I love love love my son’s daycare provider except for the food thing. I just can’t get it through her head that I don’t want him eating processed foods and sugary junk. I swear he came home last night with a Kool-Aid mustache. And he just turned 3! I don’t even give him juice… he does NOT need Kool-Aid! I need to talk to her about it, but it was pouring down rain this morning which means she’s trapped inside with 3 rambunctious boys, and I just didn’t have the heart to do it.
Lauren Michalak says
My husband eats meat and I don’t, I still cook his meat several times a week in addition to whatever I am eating. It is a pain and creates a ton of extra dishes to wash at the end of the night. We still eat the same grains and veggies on the side for the most part, but I do feel like there is this idea of “your food” and “my food” instead of “our dinner” and that makes me sad.
Brittany Dixon says
I think you sound like a great wife, though! If I were vegetarian, I think I would also make meat for David. I’m sure your husband appreciates the extra effort and I think it’s great that you can at least share all the sides!
Christine@ Apple of My Eye says
My family and I do eat very similarly!
I’m half Japanese, so I’ve been lucky enough to be exposed to tons of vegetables and was brought up trying everything and anything. My dad is Norwegian so I’ve always been a steak and potato girl as well ;).
I think it is important depending on the quality of the food. When I’m a mom, I don’t want to be making healthy and delicious recipes just to be upstaged by some greasy fried chicken!
Stefanie says
I dont’ get the chance to really cook very often but over the years my husband has learned that if I take the time to cook something he will sit down and at the very least TRY it. He’s allowed to not like it but it’s not ok to knock it before he’s tried it.
I’m hopeful that when we do have kids this will translate into adventurous eaters or at the very least, non-picky eaters! A girl can hope, right?
Brittany Dixon says
I love the ‘just try it’ method! I’m sure Hailey will get picky at some point, at least for a bit, and I certainly plan on sticking with the ‘must have at least one bite’ rule. Who knows, though- just trying to do the best I can and hope for the best!
Kelli H says
My family always ate the same foods. That was definitely a rule, too. Although, my mom admits there were times with vegetables that she would bribe us with no ice cream if we didn’t eat our broccoli. Good thing my brother & I are both great eaters when it comes to what’s on the dinner tables, though we both have a raging sweet tooth. 😉
Now, my brother’s girlfriends family would always try to accommodate all 4 of their kids. She’s told us many times that her younger brother literally eats a hot dog 5 nights a week. That is just sad…p.s. she’s one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met!
Amy@ahealthyandhappyheart says
Growing up my dad did all the cooking and what he made for dinner was what we were going to eat. Unfortunately we didn’t eat all that healthy…think canned veggies, manwich etc. which could be why I have a hard time choosing healthy foods today. Since I am now married with a little boy (11 Months) we are trying to lead by example and eat fresh whole foods as much as possible. We also made a rule that if we wouldn’t give it to our son to eat, then we prob. shouldn’t be eating it either…hopefully we can instill healthy eating habits in him!
Verna says
I make my kids try what we’re having for dinner. If they at least try it, I’ll offer them something else after, yogurt or fruit not dessert. I’m hoping by encouraging them to at least try foods they’ll eventually get to a place where they’re more adventurous.
Brittany Dixon says
Sounds like a fair compromise! I might be eating my words one day when Hailey goes through a picky phase, but for now, it’s working out, even if she loves one food one day and won’t touch it the next. Thanks for sharing!
Hanna says
I’m struggling to get my 3.5 year old daughter to eat what we eat. I do my best to plan and cook meals after work because eating dinner with the whole family is important. However, the last few weeks have been VERY stressful at dinner time. My 13 month old clings to my legs screaming for attention while my 3.5 year old beggs for snacks. I’ve tried multiple approaches to make this particular time of day less stressful but I haven’t found the solution. Last week I bought a lot of quick fix “meals” like hotdogs, mac and cheese, corn dogs…gross, I know. But it was so nice to come home and have some food on the table for the girls to eat so we could all go play outside for a while. It makes me feel VERY guilty not cooking a healthy meal for them. This week I’ve been giving in to being a “short order cook” for my 3 year old because it’s easier than forcing her to eat or making her go to bed hungry. I need help 🙁
Jodi says
Gotta love the ‘mommy guilt’ we put on ourselves way too often! I am sure you are doing the best you can! Workdays, dinnertime and two little kiddos is a tough combo! I am right there w ya!
Brittany Dixon says
I agree with Jodi, I’m sure you are doing the best you can, so please don’t be hard on yourself. What REALLY helps me are prep day (sunday) and meal planning. It helps me feel ready for the week so I never have to worry about what’s for dinner. I actually keep meaning to make a few meals to stick in the freezer, too. But by Friday, I’m usually exhausted (and I only have ONE kiddo) and we usually get a take-and-bake pizza. Balance 😉
Maria says
Interesting topic. Since it’s Mother’s Day weekend, I’ve been thinking a lot about the sacrifices my mom made as a single mom raising two kids. One of them was going into work at 6am each day so that when we got home from school, she’d be there. A smile on her and a plate of after-school snacks. She cooked dinner for us every night and we ate together as a family when it could have been easier to go to the drive-thru. Our dinners weren’t fancy and yes, sometimes were pizza or chicken nuggets, but they were home-cooked meals that were shared together, which I think is the most important lesson of all.
I just wrote my Mother’s Day post in you comment section. Ha!
Nowadays, my family does eat similar to me. I’ve helped introduce them to healthier concepts when it comes to eating and the importance of whole foods. In fact, my brother is quite the home chef (sous vide and everything!) and wows me with recipes he comes up with all the time while I struggle to make a pot of soup on a weeknight 🙂
Kathleen Ojo @ My Ojos says
YES it is important! I can’t stress that enough! Growing up, my family had a terrible diet. My mom stayed home with us, but didn’t like to cook, so we ate a ton of fast food and almost everything we ingested was highly processed and from a package. I didn’t know how to cook and was completely ignorant of nutrition and how to take care of my body. As a result, I was over 240lbs by the end of my first year of college.
I have since learned to cook, transitioned to a gluten free (Celiac), whole-foods based diet, and lost almost 100lbs. I have a 9 month old and honestly, it scares me to think that I’m 100% responsible right now for how she eats and the habits she adopts. I am determined that she will grow up healthier than I did, so she doesn’t have to struggle so much down the road. One good thing though – I insist that she eat the cleanest food possible, but since I also refuse to cook multiple meals for my family, my husband and I are eating healthier than ever!!
Brittany Dixon says
Wow, I am so impressed with the 180 you did with your eating. It couldn’t have been easy to retrain your tastebuds and you should be SO proud of your weight loss and healthy living style. I agree, now that I am 100% responsible for Hailey’s foods, I find myself choosing healthier options, too. In my head I always think ‘would I feed this to Hailey’, and USUALLY if I wouldn’t then I don’t eat it myself. *usually 😉
Parita says
I grew up in a similar family dynamic – my mom worked full time but always managed to have a full Indian dinner on the table 5 nights of the week. We had to eat what she made, no exceptions to that rule! And I’m finding that I’m kind of the same way. I try to accomodate both mine and Vishnu’s tastes but I refuse to spend more than 45 minutes in the kitchen.
Brittany Dixon says
I would have loved to grow up in your house. Indian food 5 nights a week would make my day! I’m so impressed by your mom!
Chantal says
My mom always fed us well. Sure, it wasn’t organic and all-natural, but it was good meats, veggies, fruits and grains. She taught us to eat well, and it’s carried through to my adult life.
And she refused to be a short order cook too! My daughter eats what we eat, plain and simple. She gets a snack before bed, but not immediately after dinner, if she doesn’t eat it.
Jodi says
Still struggling in this category…. I definitely lean towards being a shirt order cook way too often. ESP bc Avery is a picky eater and I feel bad if she doesn’t ea something. That being said, I always give her bits and Pieces of our meal. Like last night she had avocado, a mandarin orange, black beans and annies Mac and cheese bc she won’t eat the mexican lime grilled chicken we made. so I guess it’s a far compromise. My biggest gripe, is the blessing to have so much family nearby….I love them so much and they help so much, BUT… They give Avery snacks that I wouldn’t normally ( even though there are plenty of healthy options in her bag…)and she fills up so on those days it’s not even worth making a healthy meal for her bc she just wastes the food. I try not to get frustrated, but it’s tough!!!!
Brittany Dixon says
Avery’s meal sounds delicious. I keep Annie’s mac and cheese around, too, in case we have a food that isn’t Hailey friendly (like shrimp- I haven’t tried shellfish yet). We don’t have family nearby so I’m in charge of all her food, but I imagine I would be really frustrated if family was filling her up on foods I didn’t want her to have. Not sure how I’d handle that either but good luck!
Christina says
We try to eat the same foods, but it doesn’t always work. Some nights my 15 month old wants nothing more than yogurt and a banana for dinner 🙂 I would also love for us to eat dinner together as a family, but my husband doesn’t usually get home until after our daughter’s bedtime, so right now, I sit down with her at 5:30pm and have a snack while she eats dinner, and then hubby and I eat dinner together later (around 8pm). Are you, Hailey, and David all able to eat dinner together? Or does she eat earlier?
Brittany Dixon says
I wish we all ate together, but we’re in the same boat with David working late. I usually sit down with her when she eats, and eat my meal with David later (reheated). I look forward to when she is older and we can all have a sit down dinner together. Those were so special to me growing up and I hope to continue them! It may not happen every night, but I hope to make it happen for a majority. We shall see! 🙂
Danica @ It's Progression says
I was nodding through this entire post…Unfortunately, my family did not teach my how to eat well. All the way through my childhood we regularly ate frozen dinners (not “healthier” versions either), fresh veggies were very scarce, soda pop was consumed daily (by my parents and us kids), and most of my family was overweight.
Now, my brother, sister, and I are all extremely passionate about healthy living – somehow we must’ve found that passion in spite of our raising. We’ve all talked before about when we have our own kids we want to be the best examples for them as we can for making healthy choices and living balanced lives when it comes to those choices.
I absolutely believe that, as you’re doing, showing your child from an early age that eating healthy foods is not only important but enjoyable and rewarding, she’ll grow up with that same mentality and won’t even have to do tons of her own research or “resetting” to figure it out!
Matt @ The Athlete's Plate says
We all kind of eat the same in my family, but I’m definitely the healthy one. My parents have really started cooking and eating a lot better though and I’m really proud of them!
Jen says
My husband jokes that he never ate anything green before he met me. Now, I make all kinds of healthy new foods and encourage (ok, force) him to try them and most of the time he really likes them. The funny thing is, I will then make the same thing a couple of weeks later and he has NO recollection that he tried and loved it a few weeks ago, so I have to go through the whole forcing him to taste it again! I decided I’m going to make him sign a paper that says “I tasted xyz and loved it” so he remembers 🙂
Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen says
I, too, was super lucky to have a mom and dad who cooked dinner pretty much every night, and who exposed us to healthy, well-balanced meals. Sure, it took my dad awhile to get to be the experimental gourmand he is today, but for a divorced, single dad, he definitely didn’t fall into take-out stereotype; we had a cycle of homemade chili, spaghetti, stir-fry, and taco salad that are STILL some of my favorite meals. 🙂 And Mama Smart was mixing brown rice and whole wheat pasta into our white versions before whole wheat was ‘trendy.’
I could go on…and yes, we had pizza, or Chinese take-out, or–when my mom and I went to the movies–popcorn for dinner sometimes. And I still think cereal is an acceptable meal at any time of day. (Thank you mom!) But we are ALL still healthy eaters….even if the whole “mostly vegan” thing gets them a little stumped sometimes. 🙂
Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen says
Why do I always want to write entire blog posts in your comment section?