Sometimes blogging is hard. I’m not talking about the picture editing or HTML confusion, but the idea of putting yourself out there and having people believe that what you put on your blog encompasses all of who you are or what you think. I’ve been thinking about Nice so much lately. And Orlando and Dallas and Baton Rouge and on and on and on. I just can’t fathom how these horrific events keep happening. I am sickened by the frequency. I do not understand the deep seeded hate. I’ve talked a lot with David about the world we are living in, raising our girls in, over the last few days.
Still, I don’t always bring these conversations or thoughts on the blog because, similar to how I treat my mind, I can not make this space a place that focuses on negativity and lets fear run rampant. I believe in what Ghandi said:
Or more simply put by Buddha,
“What we think, we become.”
I’m convinced that if we focus only on the sad and hopeless side of things, then that is what we will become. I know I can not control the entire world, but I can positively impact the people in mine by not allowing the fear to take over. I choose to be positive, encouraging, and hopeful.
In my mind and in this space, I will continue doing what I can to spread the love. I believe in conversation and understanding. I believe in respectful disagreements and discussion. I believe in lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down.
In our house, I start with gratitude, as I believe it is the cornerstone of happiness. Each night either at dinner or just before bed, we all go around and say the thing we most enjoyed about the day and what we are most grateful for. I’d like to say I do this just to foster gratitude in the kids, but the truth is, it’s good for David and me too. Saying goodbye to the day with thankfulness in our hearts makes for a better night’s sleep and a more energized beginning to a new day.
I sometimes worry that sharing these things will make me look like Pollyanna, but then I remind myself that
Being a cynic is easy. Optimism takes fortitude.
This weekend was a low key one for us. We truly didn’t leave the house. Not because of fear, but because we wanted to slow things down and give full focus to pizza, wine, and evening conversation.
To breaks in summer storms and for $10 slip and slides.
To finding surprise drawings from sweet girls.
We wanted to focus on all the good, because I’ve found if you can turn off the news and look around, you really will find so much more of it in your community than the media would have you think.
Today I encourage you to take part in sending out positive vibes into the world. Be the light; be the good. Do that random act of kindness you’ve been thinking about today. Raise kids that are compassionate and take action against wrongdoings. And maybe above all, speak kindly.
I realize this may be a bit heavy for a Monday, but I’d love nothing more than to hear what you are grateful for, an act of kindness you experienced, or something that is good in your world.
And as always, thank you for being a part of mine.
Glenda says
Good morning! Thank you for this post this morning. It is so important to remember the good in the world following so many recent tragedies.
We also go around the dinner table and list our “3 positives” for the day/ things we enjoyed or are greatful for. I am greatful for time spent with my husband and two little boys ๐
Victoria says
Thank you for this- I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog for years now but this just prompted me to comment for the first time. I was in France last week when the terrible attack in Nice happened (we live in Europe) and I have found myself dwelling on the seemingly hate filled world we live in. Your post is an important reminder to focus on bringing whatever positivity we can to our own corners of the world.
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you for commenting Victoria! I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been being closer to the tragedy last week. I hope some good in the world shines through for you this week <3
Jayme says
Brittany, I couldn’t agree with you more! As a mom to three little ones, it is so easy to watch the news and get discouraged about the world our kids are growing up in. I’ve found that finding small ways to spread goodness in our community helps me to counteract this despair. This summer, the kids and I have embarked upon a super fun mission – each week, we choose a person or group (usually people who serve us in small ways, but whose efforts are often under-appreciated) to thank with a random act of kindness. So far, we’ve delivered cookies to the barbers who cut my son’s hair, donuts to our local police station, and Frostys to the neighborhood fireman. Today we are suprising the construction workers who are doing a highway project near our house with a big cooler of Gatorade. It has warmed my heart to see how happy the recipients of these kindnesses have been, as well as how happy and proud my kids are to perform these acts. It has helped to restore my faith in humanity. There is SO much good in the world if we choose to see it.
Brittany Dixon says
Wow Jayme, what you and your kids do is such an inspiration- thank you for sharing! That’s so powerful to get them involved at such a young age. One of my good friend and her boys brought Jimmy Johns sandwiches to our local police station to thank them for their service the other day and hearing about their experience was so heartwarming. Keep spreading the good <3
Melissa says
This has all been weighing on my heart heavily lately. I’m trying to process how to raise two boys in this world. How to teach them to be kind. How to keep them safe. It’s really a lot. We focus a lot on kindness in our house (because of work events but also because of four year old sassiness).
Right now I’m most grateful for my boys’ growing love for each other. The way they look at each other and make each other smile. It gives me hope that in this often scary world, they will be there for each other.
P.s. I read an amazing post by Callie at The Wannabe Athlete recently and encourage others to read it too.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh my goodness, I feel the same way. Watching how my girls love each other brings me a ridiculous amount of joy. Clicking over to read Callie’s post now- thank you!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
Love this! There is so much love around us, despite the horrific tragedies. It honestly makes me want to turn off the news and turn into my little bubble of a world. So bad on one hand, but so much more happy and comforting.
Caitlin P says
Love this post! I have really struggled with the news and the media coverage lately. In no way do I want to turn a blind eye to it all (though sometimes I get the whole ignorance is bliss thing) but I think there’s a balance to it all and like you’re saying that includes focusing on the positive and realizing how much of that is still around us everyday.
Each year I take part in a program where I sponsor a child in a shelter and buy him/her a backpack and fill it with back to school supplies. Yesterday we took my 18 month old daughter to Target and while she probably only understood 1/8th of what we were doing she had a ball picking everything out for another little girl. It was also just plain refreshing to see little kids running and giggling around the aisles excited for back to school time (and trying to slip toys into carts), parents all giving each other that “knowing” look and smile. Even chatting it up with the woman checking us out who as a grandmother kept telling us how exciting the future is for us with our daughter. Such simple every day things and yet it was such a perfect few hours.
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much for sharing that story Caitlin! Those moments of day to day life are really so much sweeter than we often pay attention to. It’s so refreshing to see the good in the world and I love that you took your 18 month old with you to fill the backpack. What a beautiful way to get her involved in giving at a young age, even if she only understood 1/8th of it at this point ๐
John J. says
Profound post! Your quote of Ghandi and the Buddha reflect positive psychology and mind training. What you focus on creates and develops the neurons in your brain that “run the train” of your life. Your focus on seeing the good and being grateful emits a positive energy that is transformative and efficacious to those of us who so enjoy your educative blogs. Keep spreading the light!
Sue says
Great post! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but haven’t commented much, if at all. I just wanted to thank you for this thoughtful post. I always try to focus on the positive and reading your words this morning really helps reinforce the why behind it.
Great blog – I love your family dynamic. Truly inspirational.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Sue! Thank you so much for reading and for commenting. You kind words really made me smile today! <3
Jen says
I absolutely agree, sometimes I don’t even want to watch the news! Our family tries to focus on being grateful as well and my family does call me Pollyanna at times but I love that quality. So we have almost three year old twins and everyday I’m in awe of how fun this season of life is and how many things there are to be grateful for…trying to focus on those things more every day!
Brynn says
You are so eloquent with your words. I couldn’t agree more, we need to focus on gratitude and love, and spread that to others. I have been so caught up in my own stress and drama that I needed this moment to stop, breathe and refocus.
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for the compliment Brynn! We all get caught up in our stresses, so you certainly aren’t alone. I hope things are calming down and heading in the right direction for you <3
Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says
Thank you for writing this – if nothing else, this kind of message lets optimists know that they aren’t alone out there even with all the bad going on in the world. It can be difficult to continue to believe in the essential goodness of people with world events the way they’ve been lately, but it’s so important to do so because otherwise, the good won’t outweigh the bad. Especially living somewhere like NYC where people tend to be very “realist” and no-nonsense and pretty much just always preparing for the worst, you need to work to keep an optimistic perspective and if that’s Pollyana-like, well, so be it ๐
Brittany Dixon says
I’ve found that so many people that claim to “keep it real” use it as an excuse to spread negativity. I understand that the life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but I do believe strongly that where we put our focus makes a big difference. Thanks so much for your comment Alyssa! <3
Jessica @My Healthy Passion says
Such a beautiful post! I couldn’t agree more! After being out of town this weekend with my girlfriends…I am SO grateful for coming home to a place I want to be with a guy I am so thankful for! <3
Monica says
I really enjoyed your post today. Yes, it was deep, but I don’t think it was overly optimistic. I think it was real! Unfortunately we live in a world where horrific actions take place and which we have absolutely no control over, but…
We have to enjoy our lives and teach our children to appreciate what surrounds us, because it’s not all bad.
Like you I try to avoid thinking and speaking constantly about acts that happen like what occurred in Nice. Having lived in Paris for a few years and knowing what Bastille Day means to the French and how all the families gather and celebrate this day, it’s utterly revolting to the stomach and heart breaking to see that someone would take advantage of this day to carry out such a horrific act!
But we can’t just pass this state of mind onto our families… We have to be the positive example!
I liked your idea of thinking and speaking about the positives of your day. Also really liked Jayme’s idea. Am going to try to start applying this to our lives on a regular basis.
As always, thanks for sharing what’s on your mind. You never know who is reading and how far we are, but you hit a button…
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment and kind words. I sometimes get nervous to hit post, but hearing that there are others out there that focus on appreciating the joy that we do have in our lives means so much!
Shelley says
Thank you for this encouraging post! On my way into work this morning, I was thinking about how much kindness exists in the world, despite the horrific acts that others commit. I can’t choose how others act, but I can choose to act with kindness and faith. I too have so much to be grateful for, especially a loving and supportive family, and I’m working on cultivating a daily practice of gratitude.
Lizzy says
Such a wonderful post! I think your weekend sounds just wonderful, and it is exactly what more people need. Today I am thankful for a job that allows me to provide for me children. As a single mom, I often leave my littles behind discouraged that I don’t get to be the stay at home I always thought I would be. I then remind myself that God has given me such a wonderful job that allows me to abundantly provide for them, and my attitude turns to thankfulness.
Kelli D says
Thank you for this post today. I too have been dwelling on all the recent heartbreaking events over the past few weeks/months/years and worry about the world I am raising my 4.5 year old son and 2 year old daughter. The Nice attack particularly hits home as my husband and I just spent two weeks traveling through England, then Paris, and the south of France. We spent Saturday the 9th in Nice and flew out of that airport Saturday night, 5 days before the attack. Before our trip I worried that we were being reckless traveling to France and Paris after under all the treats of terrorism but convinced myself that we would could not “let the terrorists win”. During and after our trip I was so glad we went! We had a wonderful time and wondered why I worried at all. Then two days after landing back in the States and hearing the news of the attack brought it all back. So for me, I am glad to be safely home with my babies but I am grieving all those who are not home with their families. I pray for a better world but agree with you that we need to try all that we can to bring our children up to be kind, loving, and positive people. I love your outlook on life Brittney!
sherry says
You have a wonderful ability to use words in a beautiful and meaningful way! A great message that you relayed. I’m going to do or say something positive to someone outside our family (I hope I do this for family members every day!) everyday–not knowing how a small act of kindness may make their day! Yesterday I started by dropping off some peaches to the the gal that works the gate in the neighborhood–made me feel good!
K says
Brittany, I am 100% on board for gratitude and gestures of kindness/goodwill, so Iโm not coming at this from wanting to stir up debate or discord. I think, however, that it is possible to be grateful and recognize oneโs privilege while being cynical or critical of how certain institutions systematically disenfranchise certain groups of people. I don’t know that people always “choose” cynicism as an alternative to love/happiness. I think that sometimes difficult situations thrust it upon them and even galvanize action for positive social change, but that person could still be grateful for particular aspects of their life or moments in the day. Sometimes a good formula can be something like gratitude + privilege check + action plan for learning more/being active in bringing about positive change. Cynicism and gratitude donโt have to be mutually exclusive, either. Some of our greatest champions of human rights (MLK Jr., Gandhi, etc) spoke from places of love, but challenged us to be cynical of the status quo and think critically about certain institutions to better understand injustice.
My own kids are people of colour, but they’re also upper-middle class, so they are simultaneously privileged (class) and marginalized (visible ethnic minorities). I would encourage them practice gratitude, to love fiercely, but also to entertain some cynicism so that they can think about how we can make a better society for everyone โ not just us. Again, this comment is totally intended to support your post and just add a few tentacles. The feel goods are awesome, but sometimes worth thinking about as a first step!
Sarah says
Thank you, K for your comment. I cannot agree with you more and you said it with such grace. This post has been bothering me since I read it last night and it took me a while to come up with the words.
Brittany, I agree that gratitude and being present are so important, but why you feel the need to frame it in the light of so much tragedy is at the very least confusing and to me, it feels offensive.
I firmly believe that we can never truly understand where someone is coming from. While it’s often difficult, I believe we must never, ever judge, so I can only tell you how this post made me feel. I’ve recently gone through a trauma quite publicly and with some media attention. I can tell you from my perspective that WORDS MATTER. It feels to me like you (pointedly or ignorantly?) gloss over the loss, the tragedy, the call to action (!!!), the importance of recent events. Your post feels hurtful to me and I think you’ve completely missed an opportunity with a public platform. I am a long time reader but this morning I have removed your site from my feed.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Sarah, I’m so sorry to hear that you have been through a public trauma. I can hear the hurt in your words and I’m sorry if my post added fuel to the fire. I can honestly say that all my words and intentions come from a genuine place of love, even though typing them out may not always come across that way to each reader, since we all see things through the lens of our own experiences. I, like anyone else, am doing the best I can. I certainly fall short sometimes, but always am striving to learn more, do better, and continue to spread love. I wish you the best!
Brittany Dixon says
Hi K- I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful and well written comment. I really was intrigued by your formula as well and it really has me thinking. I, too, want to raise my children to be grateful and love fiercely, and hope they are advocates for bringing about positive change as well. We do give back, mostly locally, and the girls are involved with some of it directly, but I am always looking for ways to do this better. Thanks for adding your thoughts; I enjoyed reading them!
Christine says
Thank you so much for this post, I needed this. As a Mom of a 20 month old I often worry now about raising him in the world we currently live in. (I use the word “currently” in hopes that this hatred ends one day).
As we were leaving daycare the other day, my toddler popped his head into a class room and saw a teacher cleaning up. He went up to her with his arms up because he wanted to give her a hug goodbye, which she gladly accepted. (he also added a kiss). Just writing this brings tears to my eyes (tears of hope, happiness and sadness) because if everyone could just be like him, we’d all be in a much happier place. Seeing him hug her gave me hope that I’m raising him right and it brought so much joy to my heart.
That being said I’m grateful for so many things and not a day goes by where I don’t think about at least one of them. I’m grateful for my family, our health, our home, and our jobs. I’m grateful that my husband and I can provide for our son and give him what he needs to be happy and healthy. I’m grateful for our freedoms and for the men and women who put their lives on the line to keep my life safe. I really could go on forever. But I leave it at this. I’m also grateful for your post, I no longer feel alone with my thoughts as a Mom raising a child in this world. Thank you
Amanda L says
Great post Brittany. No matter how much good you do, someone will always want more. You keep doing you – I can certainly tell you that you positively influence my life. Thanks!