Two weeks ago I put out a Q&A call on Instagram stories and got some really great questions! I answered the first batch here, and am excited to dive into the second today. I find this to be so much fun that I threatened David that I was going to ask if anyone had any questions for him and have him write a post of his own so he could experience the joy. He shocked me when he responded that he’s be game for that. Any interest in a Q & A with David?! I think it would be hilarious.
Anyway, on to the questions!
How do you handle toddler tantrums?
How about five year old tantrums? Because I think those can be worse! Ha. Anyway, toddler tantrums. I really do my best to see situations from the point of view of the child. The viral post It’s Hard for Them Too did a great job of putting some of the frustrations and outbursts toddlers have in perspective and I do my best to keep it in mind.
However, sometimes the reality is that all the spoons are just the wrong color that day and it creates a meltdown of epic proportions. These moments happen more for us when Kaitlyn is hungry and/or tired. In these situations, we use the stairs. Not as punishment, but as a moment to let everyone collect themselves. When she was younger, I would go with her, help her take big breaths (the big breath in, now blow it in my face trick usually works to generate a smile), calm down, and then talk simply through the situation and come up with a solution. Sometimes this took longer than others.
Now Kaitlyn (and Hailey) know this routine, so we will tell them to go sit on the stairs (or room for Hailey) and let us know when they’ve collected themselves and are ready to talk it out. Keeping my voice calm (which I sometimes fail at) is really key. I want to help them process through the boiling emotions they are experiencing not punish them for feeling it.
Oh, also, I drink wine.
What do you do if your kids don’t want to eat the meal you have prepared?
I say tough cookies kid. I almost never get a true rejection from Hailey but Kaitlyn is great at saying no to foods, even the ones SHE ACTUALLY LIKES (smack head emoji goes here). As tempting as it is sometimes to just put something in front of her that I know she wants, I resist. Again, I chose what they eat and when, and they choose if and how much (Division of Responsibility in Eating).
A couple caveats: I always make sure they like some aspect of every meal I serve. I’m not trying to set anyone up for failure. I make sure it’s appropriate (if it truly is too spicy, I make them something different).
For more: How I Actually Got My Toddler to Eat Dinner and Mistakes to Avoid when Raising Healthy Eaters.
Have you ever lost a good amount of weight? How?
I lost about 20 pounds after college. It’s a decent amount considering I am 5 feet and 1 inch tall. I have no doubt it was from the decreased amount of beer in my diet, but also I got on a big health kick (which back them meant Lean Cuisines and diet coke). I also remember grilling chicken and having spinach for dinners to try and balance the occasional late night pizza/Waffle House stops. I also became more consistent with exercise, which then was walking and jogging on the apartment complex treadmill.
college birthday Brittany turning 21
Obviously I don’t think that’s the ideal way to do it now. I weigh about 4 pounds less than I weighed at my wedding now and I think it’s largely because I focus on nutrient intake (in general, I don’t count anything) over calorie intake. Cutting out most processed foods has helped so much too!
How do you balance alcohol and stress?
I joke a lot about wine, of course. Well, I actually do love wine, beer, margaritas, and sometimes straight bourbon on ice. In reality, I probably have an alcoholic beverage 2-3 times a week. Maybe that’s a lot to you, maybe it’s a little. And while I might savor that glass of wine as I unwind from a crazy week, I never truly let it be the direction I turn for true stress relief. If I’m really wound up, I know either a good butt kicking at Boot Camp or hiring a sitter so I can have a few hours to get stuff done is the way to go and will provide me with the real results I’m after. Then I get to sip that IPA in a celebratory manner instead!
Why do you bathe your kids in the late afternoon sometimes?
Early baths for the kids are my jammmmm! For me it just makes the entire evening run so smoothly if we do baths before the kids are overtired and trying to delay bedtime. This is my favorite trick for the times when David has crazy weeks (and I’m handling it all by myself). a 4:00 pm (and sometime even a 3:00 pm!) bath means the girls are clean and in jammies so we can read books or play in the house and all that’s left between them and bedtime is dinner and brushing teeth. Since my kids take approximately 8273546 minutes to eat dinner, I’m less likely to rush them and they are still in bed by 7:15.
What made you decide to homeschool your kids? I’m a teacher but I couldn’t imagine teaching my own kids (so I give you homeschool parents a lot of credit!). I’m not being judgey I’m always curious what leads people to make the school decisions they do for their kids.
Curiosity is not judgey, so ask away! It’s usually the first question I ask other homeschool moms I come across too. I touched on it yesterday when I shared our curriculum choices for Kindergarten in the fall, but in a nutshell, I’m excited for the extra time it will give me to spend with my kids, the ability to tailor things to their learning styles and go at a pace that fits them, and the flexibility of schedule it will give us as a family.
How do you deal with negative body image days? If you have them.
I’m certain everyone has days when they don’t feel they look their best. I know I do! When those feelings surface I try to focus on the other things I bring to the table beyond my stunning good looks (I kid, I kid). I value the humor, kindness, and intelligence in my friends so much and it’s silly for me to push those important characteristics aside when I’m viewing myself. I find if I focus on trying to make someone smile or put a little good out there in the world, I feel a little less focused on my frizzy hair or thighs that will never be gap-less.
Just to play devil’s advocate for a minute though, I’m also not against a little self primping. If getting my hair done or painting my nails will help elevate the way I feel about myself, I’m going to do it. If it’s something I can and want to change, why not? Take that shower, color those roots, put on the heels. It’s OK to want to feel good about the way you present yourself to the world (I say as I’m on day 3 of wearing a baseball hat…).
How do you budget for food now that you work with a monthly budget?
I’m going to write a more comprehensive post on this soon but I’m loving the monthly food budget! We allocate a total amount of money for groceries each month, then track it using Mint.com. In short, this gives me the flexibility to spread the spending out over the month, getting more bang for my buck. For example, yesterday I went to BJ’s and spent $175ish and Whole Foods and spent $75ish. $250 would be a lot for our week typically, but the super-sized items I got at BJ’s (ranch dressing, peanut butter, coffee, yogurt, cheese, rice, etc) will stretch at least two weeks, making next week’s grocery shopping trip significantly cheaper, as I’ll just be picking up some meat and a little produce.
Overall it evens out to make the month less expensive overall than doing it weekly.
What are your tips for maintaining such a positive attitude in life?
How do you keep such a positive attitude even when you are fried/frustrated?
While there is no doubt I must have a genetic predisposition for optimism, I also continuously and purposely chose that path. It’s rooted in gratitude. I always wonder if I searched this blog for how many times I’ve said “grateful” what the count would be, but I can’t help it, I feel SO grateful for the people in my life and it keeps my perspective in check.
I also try to take care of myself. When I’m truly overwhelmed, I try to address it rather than push through it. Do I need more sleep? Sleep is HUGELY important for me. Do I need some time by myself? Do I need exercise? Then I take care of it. I go to be early. I get a sitter or have the kids watch a movie. I put other things aside so I can go exercise. I’m a big believer in taking care of myself so I can better take care of those I love.
Overall, I focus on the good parts of whatever situation I am in. Every season of life has pros and cons and things will always evolve and change. I figure I might as well focus on the good of where I am while I’m there!
Pick a question and play along! I love getting to know you better.
And a Q&A for David– would that be entertaining to anyone besides me?
montessoriishmom says
I’d love to hear a Q&A from David! I love the idea of monthly grocery budgeting, I’m going to try that. Can’t wait to read more about how you’ve been doing it. Happy Friday!
JOHN J STATHAS says
Super blog giving pragmatic advice about your healthy life style. I particularly liked the part of taking care of yourself so you can give more to others. “Can’t give what you don’t have”.
Heather says
Okay, this post reminds me how much I just love your blog. You are a great writer, and more importantly, you have the ability to connect with all readers, even if they are so different from you! That is very hard to do, in my opinion. Honestly, I used to read a lot of blogs, and I still do visit several, but I actually READ yours, rather than just skim other people’s.
Random question….my husband and I are heading to Asheville tomorrow. We are going to check out Sierra Nevada. I feel like you have been to Asheville some. Any recommendations for restaurants/breweries/hikes?
Have a great weekend!
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much Heather! What kind words <3
As for Asheville, oh lucky you!! Wicked Weed is an awesome spot (though it was just bought anheuser busch) for food and good beer. I feel like there are too many restaurants that are amazing to name, but Early Girl Eatery is incredible for breakfast and Curate is always a good choice. The Green Sage is my favorite coffee/tea shop too. Have so much fun!!
Heather says
Thanks! I had head that about Wicked Weed. Think we need to get there before it changes too much. Thanks for the tips!
Jamie Bergen says
Love these posts!!! And would love one with David!
Brittany Dixon says
Any questions in particular?! 🙂 I’m going to have him do it!
Jamie says
Ok! Here goes….
What does he do for work?
Does he have any tips for living with a Type A person? (Brittany that isn’t a dig at ALL! I am just like you and love to plan and meal prep and make lists and at times I think it drives my man crazy!)
Thanks!
Heather Warner says
I am head deep in two year old tantrums right now and just overall discipline. I have been doing a lot of reading (who am I kidding – audiobooking) on understanding the toddler brain and how to breeze through a tantrum without becoming ruffled. I never knew that tantrums were 100% normal and a critical part of a child’s development. I always thought they were just being brats – terrible I know, but I feel like that is how I was treated as a child.
I love that you said you accept emotions. I am a firm believe in accepting the emotions but not the behavior. I think a lot of parents put them together when one is just a cry for help due to the other.
Haley says
Great post! Thanks for continuing to take the time to write.
Question for David. Maybe you’ve already mentioned, but what is his occupation?
Lauren B says
it’s fun to read your answers!
When I’m not feeling so great about myself, I have found that the simplest thing works for me: blow drying my hair and maybe putting a curling iron to it makes all the difference! I usually default to letting it air dry and then put it in a ponytail, which is easiest with (almost) 3 kids. But I definitely don’t feel my best when I do. I agree with you about getting my nails done- instant beauty lifter! :). It’s the little things.
Erica says
Love your tips on maintaining a positive attitude! Thanks for the section on picky eating and your older posts on that too. My husband grew up eating very family style, just using a bowl and chopsticks. He likes to have a few different dishes and then you get a bowl of rice and add in the other items. I had been mixing everything together in one bowl for my son. Made it easy for him to use a spoon or fingers to scoop it all up himself! But now he’s started refusing things and I find if I mix them together he will pick around or refuse the whole bowl. I’m sad about it, but I’ve started splitting up items. I try to buy again whatever he is liking…right now he loves cauliflower so we have roasted cauliflower at least twice a week. I’ve also forced a few things on him…I know that is supposedly bad, but after a week of refusing mango (we got a whole box of them from Sam’s Club), I finally just shoved a piece in there and then he was all “more mango, more mango, more mango” and of course I only had one mango left!
Jen W. says
? for David….. you are so fortunate to have 3 beautiful girls in your life. Sure wish you would talk Brittany into trying for a little boy to complete your family. He would be soooo handsome. You two make beautiful babies!
Erin says
Awesome post!! Baths in the afternoon are our jam! Esp on summer days when we swim or are at the beach – it’s so much easier to have everyone transition into pajamas and be done with the bath so that when everyone is exhausted at bed time it’s not another struggle.
For my older kids 5 and 7 – when they have tantrums it’s usually because they can’t get their emotions back on track after they’ve jumped ship. My five year old girl esp gets to a place where she can’t calm down easily if something throws her off. But I read somewhere that if you keep asking her questions to find a yellow thing in the room, then find two brown things, then find a purple thing- it switches the brain part they are using from emotional to logical and helps them calm down. Not sure exactly why it works but it works every time. Now the two year old tantrum- I have no idea ;).
Hope you have a good weekend!
Erin L says
I’d love to hear how you balance eating well (I’m constantly struggling to find balance) and also a healthy fitness lifestyle. I am super good at one and the other drops. I’ve learned not to be so extreme in one or the other, but I like how you eat & it’s not a restrictive style. It helps to motivate me! Thank you 😊
Katie says
I would love to hear David’s side of how y’all met and fell in love!
Allison says
Question for David, would love to hear from the husband perspective, what are your biggest challenges when it comes to balancing parenting and work? And equally as important… as a Dad to two little girls… which Disney Princess is your favorite?
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, love it! Put it on the list 🙂
Whitney says
You have such a great attitude and outlook on life!! I find myself drawn to your blog bc that’s the kind of people I try and surround myself with 🙂 I stay at home with my two kiddos (4 and 9 months) and it’s a balancing act when you have a husband that works long hours…mine does too. I sometimes get through the long days by doing the opposite of an early bath, we go to the library at 5pm, run to the grocery store for a fun dessert, or play outside and eat a pb&j and call it dinner. Haha. #survivalmode