If we were all sitting down in the same room right now I’d have tears streaming down my face. Not from the sadness that still aches in my heart, but from the incredible outpouring of support you’ve given me through this difficult time.
With so much cruelty reported in the world and the overwhelming negativity that sometimes seems to proliferate in our newsfeeds, I had a day yesterday where I felt something so much more powerful than those things could ever be- pure love and compassion.
We all go through heartbreak. The raw pain, the messy emotions and sorrow are part of life and bind us together. These events are different to each of us, but what warmed my heart in a way that I can’t accurately describe is the empathy and permission to grieve I was given.
I read every single word you each sent my way. Then during the girls’ naps I sat curled up in bed, tears streaming down my face, as I read them all again.
Thank you Kristy, for sharing this quote.
With each comment, email, hug, text and phone call, I felt a little piece of my pain release. It’s like I was given the OK to hurt, to cry and to start to heal. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. Thank you.
I read how many of you went through the same thing or will be doing so soon and I cried with you.
Lesley shared a quote from this story, and I really embraced it, so maybe it will help you too.
Yesterday I tried to focus in on just the silver lining of it all.
I reflected on how wonderful it is that I have my dear friend, Alison, that I could call last minute when we got the news who didn’t hesitate to take the girls, feed them and bathe them so I didn’t have to think of a thing besides saying goodbye.
I also learned how to be better in helping others experiencing grief, so for that I am grateful. I’m so guilty of not knowing the right thing to say to a person grieving, but now I recognize now how powerful even a simple acknowledgment and condolences are in the healing process. It doesn’t have to be the perfect thing to say. I understand it hurts more not to talk about it.
And I smile every time I look at the flowers my friend Cheryl brought me. There are a reason people send flowers; they bring a little light and beauty into the house.
I know people are facing and have gone through worse. I know some people do not understand the depth of love you can have for a pet. But what amazes me is the genuine compassion people can have for each other without comparing tragedies. We all hurt at some point, in different ways, and the best thing we can do is to love each other through it.
So thank you, friends and family, for loving me through this and being a silver lining during this sad time in my life. I am getting back on my feet and thank you for your understanding while I take one more day to breathe and adjust to this new normal.
There is no death; only a change of worlds. —
Katie D. says
I am so sorry. Having experienced the loss of a number of pets, the raw pain and empty feeling does fade with enough time, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes when I go to my parent’s house, I still expect our family dog to greet us.
*hugs* to you and your family. Take the time you need to grieve!
Joanna says
Hugs! Glad you’re feeling the light even in a dark, difficult time!
Heather @ Life In Leggings says
“There is no death – only a change of words.” I love that. Losing a pet feels like losing a family member to me. It’s so, so hard and completely okay to grieve as long as you need to. (Virtual) hugs and prayers to you!
Heather @ Life In Leggings says
*worlds. Sheesh.
Beth says
Koda was lucky to have all of you as her family. Thinking of all of you during this difficult time.
Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl says
Blessings to all of you at this time. I remember in sixth grade when my family’s first Labrador passed away. She was a year older than me and had always been our guardian. It was the saddest time even though we knew it was coming (cancer as well) and it took three years before we were able to think about getting a new puppy, who has brought as much joy to our family and who is unbelievably about to turn 10 now.
Kate says
It will get better. One day at a time.
It is indeed truly amazing how in a world of people, religions, and nations drifting apart, the Internet can actually bring us closer. While I have never met you or Koda in person, here I am, on the other side of the world being moved by your writing and being sad, truly sad that Koda passed away.
Take your time. Take all the time you need to heal.
John J. says
Your inspirational living and writing brings forth the best in your readers. Keep ’em coming!
Giselle says
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s definitely like losing a family member . She lived a great life with you as her family and is probably running wild and free up in doggie heaven π
Brynn says
The end quote is so true. Change is hard and can be so painful, give yourself time to grieve and think of all of the sweet moments with your girl. So sorry for your loss.
Cassie says
Thanks for sharing that beautiful story. Crying over here.
kim p says
virtual hugs to you and your family. Tears help heal the loss of a pet…..I cried for about 2 weeks after losing our 17 year old kitty.
Hilary says
Thanks so much in your time of grievance for sharing that little sliver lining, I loved it and I hope it gives you comfort.
Brittney says
Hi Brittany,
I don’t comment often (or maybe ever!) but I’ve read your blog for a few years now. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. I don’t care what anyone says, pets are family and I can only imagine how I would be feeling if we lost our dog right now. Take it easy and be gentle to yourself this week, you need the healing time.
Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me says
Hi Brittany, I have a lot of feelings, but not sure how to formulate them. Just know that my heart is extended to you and your family.
A year ago, I read an incredible book called, The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. Itβs fiction, but I think it would suit this time in your life very well.
Sending prayers. <3
Heather says
The loss of a pet is never easy, even if you know it’s inevitable and can see it coming. Pets are family too and it’s easy to see why. That was such a beautiful story with the little boy. I’m a cat person, myself, but feel similarly about my furry friends. Much love!
Natasha says
You write so beautifully B. Wish I was closer so I could give you a great big hug and just be. Thinking of you all as you adjust and work through it all xx
Samantha says
thank you for sharing with us.
Caity says
Brittany,
In honor of Koda and all the love she gave your sweet family, my husband and I both left work early yesterday to spend a little extra time with Sammy, our beloved chocolate lab. Like Koda, Sam was our first baby, he is my shadow, and I cannot imagine life without him.
Your tribute to Koda served as our reminder to take a time out and appreciate the precious gifts in life. We took Sam for a long walk in the glorious afternoon sun and then sat on the porch and gave him a long scratch while we reflected on how much joy he brings to our life.
I hope it provides some solace to know that your love for Koda is being felt as far away as Seattle and that the passing of her life has touched our hearts.
Caity
Alison says
I am so sorry to hear of your Koda’s passing. I had to do the same with my beagle of 12 years about 2 and a half years ago. I was a wreck for the longest time but slowly was able to come back to life. At times, the pain is still fresh for me and certain things will always bring tears to my eyes. It’s so difficult to lose that little piece of ourselves that we place within those we love, whether people or animals. Having a pet changes you in ways you could never imagine and the loss of that pet will change you in ways you would never expect. It is so important to remember the good times you had and be thankful, as you are doing. I wish you all the peace and comfort that you may need in this time of grief. Take time to heal. Snuggle your family a little bit closer. For now, simply making it through is enough.
Liz says
<3
Monika says
Your last post made me cry π That is the worst loss I have ever known so far in life – and you can’t really understand it until you experience it. I lost my first cat after 13 or 14 years of having him and it took me years to get over it which was crazy to me. My fiance and I have 4 pets together now (2 dogs and 2 cats) and I can’t ever imagine them not being there. I completely feel for you and your husband during this sad time, but it’s amazing that you got to have as much time with Koda as you did. Honestly, I think part of the reason we have so many animals is so that we have a buffer for the sadness that will come with the passing of the first. I know that’s probably unimaginable right now, but once you are ready, it really will help immensely π I know there are no words I can say to make you feel better, but time will heal all of the pain, and you will always have the memories <3
Lisa O says
Sharing your tears as I’ve shared your joys through this website. So sad to lose a fur family member. The pain does eventually ease as the beautiful memories shine strongly with reminders of how she blessed your life. Sending virtual hugs to you all xx