We’ve all heard the phrase You can’t do everything. I would venture to say most of us agree with the sentiment, but surely I’m not the only person who still rushes around trying to accomplish it all anyway? Well, actually, that was me, but we’ve implemented some changes in the way of outsourcing some of our household chores and it’s making a huge difference.
According to a study from The University of Michigan, the average married woman spends about 17 hours a week on housework. Despite having the girls pitch in on chores, those 17 hours were coming increasingly harder to come by as naps for the kids became a thing of the past, as I started putting more effort into blogging, as I focused on wanting to be present with my kids, and as I prepare to take on homeschooling. My list of what I needed and wanted to do in a day was longer than the hours I had to work with. Not an unusual situation to be in, but one that I wanted to address.
David and I sat down, listed out all our responsibilities, the time it took to accomplish them and the cost of outsourcing them. David taught me years ago about finding the value of my time, and we each defined what our hours are worth (more on how you can do that here). Basically it has taught me that some things simply are not worth my time. We use that factor, as well as how much I enjoy or despise a task, to decide whether or not to outsource it.
The Household Chores We Outsource
House Cleaning
I love a clean house. No, more than that, I need things to be put together and organized in order for me to function at my highest level. Having things messy raises my stress level. It’s just a fact about me (that has only developed in adulthood, as I was quite the teenage slob!) that I’ve learned to accept. I’m pretty good at keeping counters uncluttered, the floors swept, and most items in their place. But as for cleaning? Like deep cleaning? I really hate it. There, I said it.
Because of the time it takes and my lack of interest, we chose to have a team of household cleaners that come every other week to dust, mop, scrub bathrooms, and make sure things are truly clean, not just the tidy that I manage. It’s life changing. The hours I save and the stress it saves me is well worth the investment.
Lawn Maintenance
This one is new for us, and if we are being honest, David said a little piece of him died when we signed the lawn contract. But it needed to be done. We have a decent size lawn and though keeping it cut was manageable, keeping the flower beds weeded, the edging up to date, the bushes trimmed, and the grass fertilized was not. Once we made the decision, I think we both felt a sigh of relief as we realized we’ve been struggling (and failing) to keep up with our yard work for longer than we wanted to admit.
Hiring a lawn service has already allowed us to spend weekend time accomplishing other home maintenance projects that we’ve had on our list for months (years?) like installing new fans, wiring for overhead lights, changing shower fixtures and other tasks, instead of fighting the losing battle against the stubborn North Carolina crab grass.
Child Care
Though I identify as a SAHM, there are other commitments that demand my time and attention too. I found myself juggling too much, feeling scatterbrained and half-assing everything, including the time I had my with girls. Now, I have a sitter (nanny?) come one day a week. I chose one day versus a couple hours on multiple days to allow me a solid chunk of time to stay focused. On this day, I am able to do a lot for the blog, take care of personal appointments, attend to home care items, and manage other miscellaneous tasks during the time, leaving the other 6 days of the week more open to focus on quality time with my kids.
One last thing that is worth mentioning.
Dropping the guilt.
This took a long time for me to do, and honestly I still squirm uncomfortably when I’m watching others take on the tasks I feel like I “should” be doing myself. However, I’m getting better at accepting it because honestly it just makes sense, as it makes our home run more efficiently and actually has allowed us to increase our household earnings. Outsourcing these household chores has not only decreased our stress levels, but it has also allowed us to focus on the tasks that are moving our lives and businesses forward.
For me, I enjoy meal prep and cooking and laundry is manageable (even if not necessarily enjoyable), but I do have friends that outsource those items instead. It’s all about figuring out what best suits your particular situation. Maybe it’s a couple of tasks and maybe it’s none of them, but outsourcing household chores can be a real game changer for families looking to more efficiently use their time. I know it’s made a big difference for us!
I’d love to head your thoughts on this idea!
Is outsourcing something you are comfortable with?
Which home tasks do you enjoy? Which do you not?
amy says
I really enjoyed this post. We get our house deep cleaned 2-3 times a year and I would totally do it more but as you write about I have the guilt factor involved! Soon I am going to go from the part-time working mom to stay at home mom. Curious to how many hours you have your sitter that one day a week? I think I will need to be like that for my sanity!
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Amy! I have my sitter for 9 hours one day a week. She is wonderful and spends the days taking the girls to tennis, swim, and reading them books. It allows me to have a lot less guilt and better attend to the things I need to focus on. Best of luck on your upcoming transition to SAHM-hood 🙂
JOHN J STATHAS says
Well written pragmatic article. My calendar tells me who I am. How do I spend my time – with whom, doing what, why, etc… . Time has worth. We have made decisions similar to yours and find it works for us. Good for you guys.
montessoriishmom says
I often wonder how moms get anything done once naps subside, or when they have two children who nap at different times. I’m definitely going to keep this in mind for the future. I think it’s such a great decision to get a sitter one day and then be really present with your kids when you’re with them!
Cornelle Van Rensburg says
Great post! A brilliant reminder to carefully consider what you choose to spend your time on.
Brynn says
This is something we just started and to be honest, I’m still a bit uncomfortable with the help. But, I know it will be best in the long run- having four hours back on the weekend is amazing!
Nadia says
I currently “do everything”, but what I’ve noticed is that I can do one thing really well, and everything else is okay. Right now, my home is spotless (we are selling our home). BUT, I have not been getting in my workouts, cooking as much, and I feel torn in many directions. When I read about your nanny 1 day a week, I literally gasped – how wonderful! Since we will be homeschooling this year, I definitely need to force myself to outsource. It will be worth it for our family’s sanity!
Rachel says
Yes! We have a lawn care company (not mowing, but fertilizing etc) and snow removal (we live in Canada and get a LOT of snow), and we get our windows professionally cleaned once a year (we should do that more! Ha!). The snow removal was big for my husband. We have an expensive snow blower, but he leaves for work at 6am, so he’d need to be out snowblowing before 5 – making noise and waking up the neighbours – just to get out of the driveway. It’s not a thing that can wait until I wake up or he gets home from work – he needs to leave and can’t drive over 2 feet of snow! We pay a lump sum for the season, regardless of how much it snows. Some years it’s really worth it, and some we don’t get much snow and it’s not, though we we kept track and it’s averaged to $15 a clearing. Our time is worth more than $15 an hour, so it’s definitely worth it. My husband feels guilty every year, but I say that if we have the luxury to afford to outsource these things, we’re stimulating our local economy and therefore doing something good ;).
Erica says
Yes! I totally agree with the sentiment regarding the value of time! We have a lawn service. We have a small yard so it’s not so much the mowing as the edging around the fence and landscaping. My husband doesn’t like devoting a chunk of his weekend to those tasks and I’d also much prefer he has the time for his family. Instead of working in the hot NC sun, he spends that time playing with his sons and to me that is priceless! As for the housekeeping, we have a small home which helps! I assign myself tasks on an every other week rotating basis so I am not trying to do everything all at once. My husband will pitch in if I give him specific directions 🙂
Jeannie says
My husband and I both work full time and my 3yo is in day care full time. We want the weekend for our son and not for house chores. We also have a cleaning service and lawn service and it’s the best! I also can organize all day long but when it comes to cleaning I dread it.
Larissa says
I found this post really interesting and helpful. I too identify as a stay at home mom but will be sending my 2year old to a (pre) pre-School program for two mornings a week in the fall. We decided it would be good for both him and me (I also work from home part-time). I know it’s a good decision but that guilt definitely creeps in a little here and there. I will really consider the cost/benefits of having a cleaning service a few times a year after reading this post as well. Thanks again for producing a great blog!
Carly says
I love your blog posts. We have no children, yet, but I got a new headship position at a school in the fall and we’ve come to the conclusion that something’s got to give. And since I’m not willing to “give” on my sanity keepers (i.e., the workouts and yoga a few times a week, the healthy meals) – we’ve decided to outsource the deep cleaning. I also go crazy with a messy house, but it definitely is the first thing that is forgotten when I’d rather hang out with my hubby during the time free we have. Kids or not – I still feel guilty. So, thank you for writing what I needed to hear today!
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations on your new position! That’s super exciting! And I’m with you on the guilt. I really struggled with it (and some days still do) but I hope you can start leaving it behind. We all get to/have to make choices and life is too short to give ourselves a constant guilt trip over them. Good luck in your new job and enjoy that deep clean 🙂
Stephanie says
This is a great post. We would much rather spend our money on things that free up our time to work on our professional and parenting goals vs. a bigger house/newest car, etc. I think what you said about valuing your time is spot on, but so is what you prioritize using your (hard earned) dollars for.
SHU says
Guilt is overrated! As long as kids are happy + healthy, we need to let go, especially as women! We should be enjoying our lives, even with kids – we only get one go at this!
I outsource . . . a lot. And feel zero guilt 🙂 I work full days 4 days/week, and I don’t want to spend my at-home time doing chores – I want to spend it with my kids! So, I outsource essentially all weekday cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry, and driving to weekday afterschool activities. The only thing I miss is cooking, so I try to make dinner Sunday nights (and I still do the meal planning + create the weekly shopping list!).
Christina says
This is a great post, and one I relate to a lot. We have had a cleaning person since my oldest was born (5.5 years ago) and would you believe I STILL feel a little weird telling people that, if it happens to come up in conversation? My husband, like David, really wants to be able to take care of our yard (jungle?) himself….but just the other week he uttered the words “maybe we should get a lawn service” to me. Pretty sure I heard angels sing 🙂
I really wish I could pay for a personal stylist to come to my house each morning and dress me and do my hair…..maybe one day, haha!
Kelli H says
David and I are considering a landscaper for when little baby comes but it’s hard to bite the bullet when I’ll be bringing in less income. Though we’ll both have less time. This summer we’ve been remodeling a bathroom upstairs (for the baby since it was original!) and it’s taken up all our weekends. Our backyard and front yard have been hit hardest with the neglect. I try to go out there and pick the weeds every couple weekends but at 33 weeks pregnant it’s really hard now! I think we’re just going to have to get a landscaper and suck it up.
Laura says
I’ve always said that if I were working, I would absolutely outsource the house work. But, as a stay at home parent, I currently do not, despite the fact that my days are much busier than when I worked! So this is something I want to look into for the coming school year. As homeschoolers, we spend more time at home than others who go to school/daycare/work and I definitely want to have a clean house. But I also do not want to spend all of my time cleaning! I am also looking to hire a sitter to take care of the baby so that I can have some one on one time with my eldest and hopefully time to work out, too.
susan says
Interesting post for sure. And agree that we all have to prioritize what works best for our own family. For us, my husband and I both work and take care of the majority of household chores ourselves. With day care costs, and our personal priority to funnel extra money to retirement and my daughter’s college fund (our goal is to pay in full for her if at all possible), we don’t have much left to pay for outsourcing chores. But, that’s what works for us. And, now that my daughter is almost 3, she actually loves to help with many of the chores. We try to just do one big thing each weekend, floors one weekend, bathrooms the next, dusting and general clutter cleanup the next. For us, it’s working, for now. I would love to have someone come in and clean my bathrooms! Thanks for keeping it real!
Glenda says
You have a knack for posting on topics just as I am thinking about them. Thank you for this. I, like you, love a clean house, but also struggle to find the time to get it really clean. I would much prefer to spend time on meal prep, organizing or spending time with my boys. I really appreciate the link for finding it what your time is worth as well. Great post, thank you
Elizabeth says
If I was working full time, one of the first things I would do would be hiring a maid! Jared loves taking care of our yard but also notices that he spends a lot of time doing it. Right now I’m choosing to work part time, spend more time with my kids, and make other sacrifices for this time right now 🙂 Also, it feels like the more money we make, the more we spend 🙁
Brittany Dixon says
Love how you defined it as choices. I’m a big believer that we all have choices. And your kids are simply adorable so I’d choose to hang out with them as often as I could too (can I please come snuggle Liv?!) 😉
As for making more and spending more, I really think this is the American way (not in a good way). David and I have had many conversations about this and have been super focused on keeping our spending at a level well below our income. It’s not always easy and we give ourselves a gut check every few months because it really does sneak up on us sometimes!
Laura says
Lawns and houses are a LOT of work! Before kids we lived in a home and property that was almost twice as large as what we have now and I felt completely overwhelmed and realized that it wasn’t what I would want when we started our family. We downsized quite a bit and everything is much more manageable and I do find some enjoyment in cleaning my house. It is a lot more difficult during the school year when I am working outside of the home but my standards for cleanliness also lower a bit which I am generally okay with since I am not home as much. We don’t outsource anything (pulling weeds is a regular after dinner family affair) but I totally get the value of it.
Kate says
This post actually really rubbed me the wrong way, because it doesn’t really have much reflection that this level of outsourcing is not really something that many people can take on, budget-wise. It misses the point that it’s generally not that we WANT or SHOULD be taking on everything (particularly as SAHMs, of which I am one), it’s just that…. there’s no other way to get it done. My husband works very long hours, as yours also seems to do, Brittany, and believe me, I would love to have line items in our budget for a nanny/sitter once a week, a “team” of housecleaners, and a yard person, but I definitely don’t think that’s something that many people realize is attainable, no matter how much value they place on their time – these things are luxuries that most people can’t afford.
Annie says
I found this post to be an extremely odd topic to cover. Would love to know if people have been asking a lot of questions about how she handles household chores and that is why this came about. Even though I think Brittney has been pretty open with the fact that she has a cleaning service, sitter, etc. I read this post as “I have a great tip for you! If you are stressed – than outsource what stresses you out most!” That would be a great tip; however, 90 percent of Americans don’t have the luxury of being able to afford outsourcing household chores. Anyways, I do like this blog and visit it daily. This post just seemed to come out of left field.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Annie and Kate. I love when people send me post topics they would be interested in, and I’ve received quite a few asking for our cleaning schedule or how I handle household cleaning, so that is how I happened to come upon addressing it.
I love discussing all topics that relate to motherhood in this space including food, kids, education, emotional struggles, mom guilt, financial choices, etc. I know some are more hot topics than others, but I appreciate hearing others thoughts and sharing my own on these topics and strive to write content I’d find interesting to read myself. I do appreciate you reading and contributing to the conversation, as my favorite thing about this space are the people that are a part of it.
Annie says
Thanks, Brittany! (Sorry for misspelling your name in my original comment!). Like I said, I do enjoy your posts, and from reading the other comments, it seems as though your reader demographic are those who are able to afford these types of luxuries as many have mentioned outsourcing as well. I know in the past I have outsourced cleaning, etc. I think I am overly sensitive when reading these types of posts because in my profession I am reminded daily that there are many people in this country who are struggling. When I am stressed about household chores, etc., I have to remind myself that it’s a privilege to own a home with a yard and that many people would love to be in my situation. Many people would love to be stressed out by house cleaning, rather than stressed out about when and where they will get their next meal. Anyways, hope you have a great day! I do really enjoy this blog and can’t wait to read more about your homeschooling adventures.
Amber says
HI Brittany! I really appreciate your openness with this post! I think you made it clear that this is what your family chooses to do and not something you feel everyone should or have to do. I like that you sat down to talk about your priorities and the value of your time because my husband and I have learned how valuable our this now that we have our son! Things we wouldn’t have considered outsourcing before parenthood now are coming up in conversation because my husband doesn’t want to spend his only day off work in the yard. When we first moved into our house we said we would never have lawn care but 6 years later we are realizing we can’t keep up with the landscaping and yard work to keep the yard and house looking nice. My biggest concern is what type of products the lawn companies would use. Did you guys research that much? We are in our yard a lot with our 2 year old and I worry about what he would be playing in.
Brittany Dixon says
We chose a lawn service off recommendations from a friend, but I totally see where you are coming from with the worry about the chemicals. I know in our area several companies offer a green line of service, so if it is something you are interested in, maybe start calling around? I’ve seen a substantial increase in both lawn and pest control companies using green products.
PS- I’ve really learned to never say never too! Life changes, as do the decisions we have to make and the priorities we have to balance.
Tracy says
Paying to have my house cleaned every 2 weeks is worth every penny!!
Taryn says
We currently don’t outsource anything, although we did just pay a landscaper to put in a brick walkway to our front door. I am a part-time working mom of 2, but with them being 4 and 6 I feel like I can get a lot of the chores done with them around. We also do some house projects after they go to bed (we are finishing our basement, so lots of painting/organizing/purging happens after they are in bed).
Chores that I enjoy: mowing the lawn, cooking, spot-cleaning (I despise dusting and doing windows). I don’t hate laundry, but again I do a lot of it after the kids are in bed so I’m watching mindless TV at the same time.
I love this post! And I agree that letting the guilt go (no matter the reason we have it) is the most important thing. We all just want our kids to be happy, healthy, and feel loved.
Emily says
I often enjoy reading your blog, but this left me a little frustrated. I am a kindergarten teacher in a public school and my husband is a stockbroker. We have 2 boys and live on 5 acres. We couldn’t afford to have any of the services you mentioned, even if we wanted to. To each their own and how lucky you are to afford those luxuries.
Sarah says
Hi Brittany! I enjoyed reading this post and it’s definitely something I’ve struggled with as a SAHM, and one that doesn’t bring in any additional income. I’ve never felt pressured to “do it all” by anyone else, but for some reason I can give myself a better guilt-trip than anyone else could. I always felt that since I didn’t work outside the home, I should be able to care for our home and children, and do it all well. After the birth of my second, I was overwhelmed and my husband offered to pay someone to come and clean once a month.. I love to clean but there was no way I could keep it up during that season of life. Now that our youngest is one and I have “come up for air” so to speak, I’m finding it a bit easier to manage the cleaning on my own. I’ve opted to enroll my oldest in swim lessons this summer instead of paying someone to clean, but that will change when the busyness of fall begins and I will probably request help again! We definitely pay a lawn service to fertilize and aerate our lawn (it’s so negligible of a fee anyway!) I think it just depends on your season in life and your priorities as to what you outsource and when. For those saying it’s a luxury most people can’t afford, I’d say it really depends on what you choose to outsource and what else you are spending money on. For instance, we “outsource” our grocery shopping to Walmart’s online ordering and pick up. That’s free, but someone shops for me and it saves time. Also, it would cost us more actually to do the fertilizer and aeration of our lawn if we had to rent a machine for that, for instance. I’d love a personal chef, but then I’d have to give up vacationing for a year or two probably 😉. Anyways, I get where your coming from and I’m glad you posted on a topic that apparently plagues so many of us Moms.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Sarah, Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I am right there with you in that I can give myself a guilt trip better than anyone too! And I did for a long time. But by trying to share our household decisions more openly, I am starting to leave the guilt behind. I really enjoyed reading your points on cost and the fact that grocery shopping can be outsourced largely for free now as well as how much really depends on your station in life. Since becoming a mom, I’ve really learned to be careful using the phrase “I’d never” 🙂
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for your input to the conversation!
Done & Dusted says
Good for you Brittany. Time is the most previous resource we have. Why would anyone spend 17 hours a week on chores if they don’t have to! The more you outsource, the more quality time you get with your family. No reason to feel guilty IMO!
B says
Having a clean house is a need for me as well as well as a decluttered house. We tried to outsource the cleaning by hiring a company to come in once a week however the stress I had from things not being done the way I like them or not thorough or something getting done that wasn’t on my list (and we tried several companies) was too much so now we outsource food prep/cooking. The hours everyday it saves me helps me to clean my house and spend quality time with the kids. Best investment ever 🙂
Karen says
Hi Brittany One other wonderful thing about outsourcing is you are providing a job for someone. It is nice to know you are helping someone else earn a living.
Katie says
Loved this post! As a “sahm” I felt some guilt for hiring a cleaning crew monthly and hiring landscapers. But you know what I get to spend that much more time with my 3 year old and 6 month old. I also feel like such a better mom and person when my house is in order. We definitely have to budget other things (like no manicures some months) to enjoy outsourcing, but we’ll worth it! Great post
Aggie says
I’m currently on maternity leave for another couple of months. We’ve got two kids one is almost 4 years old the other is 3 months old. When we were bot working full time we had a cleaner coming once a week for 3 hours. Even thought I liked to be freed up from this task, I still struggled in my head with the thought that I can actually do it better than her. Like I wanted to sabotage the idea of having the cleaner. And then I said I’d do it and we’ll spend that money on something like sports or other outings. After baby 2 was born I had literally no time but still struggled to ask for help. Things have finally settled with kids – older goes to preschool 8-1pm and I always managed to find time. Easy peasy. Then I decided I wanted a complete change of my lifestyle and started training and eat healthy. Beginnings were hard but yet again I somehow worked out the ways I’m happy with and without asking for help. I guess I have this survival soul or maybe I’m just thrifty haha 🙂 I guess when I’ll be back at work next year I’ll be definitely outsourcing cleaning once a week.
Jen says
Really enjoyed this post. I also liked a comment above about the Wal-Mart grocery service. Outsourcing can be a creative game to get the most ‘bang for your buck’ even if you aren’t spending any additional money to maximize the 24 hrs you have in a day. Ordering groceries online via Walmart or similar stores, automatic bill pay and other ideas to automate your chores free up time. We use a cleaning service but spend less on other areas in our budget to ‘offset’ the expense.
Kara says
Hi Brittany!
I outsource lawn service ( weekly mowings and one a year clean ups) and once a month deep cleaning by a wonderful cleaning woman and her family. I am a stay at home mom to 3 kids under 5 years old. My husband works long hours. This works for us! I’m a silent reader but love your blog. Thanks for writing! -Kara