Time to be a little vulnerable for a minute. As I’ve gotten older (a wise old 30 years to be exact), I’ve learned to let spiteful comments roll off my back. Talking about life online, voluntarily, certainly opens me up to some outside commentary, too. I get that. I’ve read some comments that sting, but I usually move on pretty quickly.
Yes, I’d like to think I’ve toughened up over the past few years, but sometimes words still hurt me. Oddly enough, they usually aren’t the ill-intentioned ones that make an impact. I’ll stop being vague and tell you what has affected me over the past few months…
Well, hopefully your next one will be a boy.
Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones that have me being oversensitive but I cringe when people say that for so many reasons. Let’s start with the fact that we are 95% certain that our family is complete with two wonderful children. Hearing others insinuate that somehow we couldn’t possibly be complete without both sexes frustrates me.
When a statement hurts, I always look internally first. Is there truth to it? Why does it bother me so much? Well, maybe it’s because I always thought I’d have one of each, too! That’s how I grew up and figured I’d have the same. I believe that’s why I was so convinced this one was a boy. It just had to be, right?
But this sweet little one in my belly is a GIRL. Not just another girl, but mine and David’s daughter, a unique and amazing person that we are so blessed to have and I can’t wait to get to know. With every kick and wiggle in my belly, I fall more and more in love with the idea of raising girls. What an honor. What a responsibility. What an adventure. They will be sisters and hopefully life-long best friends.
But what about David? Doesn’t every man what a boy? Honestly, I think this is primarily why the statements made by others about having “another” girl hurt me. I was worried that David would be let down.
I can’t believe I even just typed that. Don’t I know my husband at all?
David is fine. He’s more than fine. He’s elated to have his girls. He can’t wait to teach them to play soccer and show them how to use a miter saw (eventually… ;)). We both want to raise strong, confident girls that are self-sufficient and loving. You can so clearly see the love he has Hailey and I can’t help but grin when I picture two little girls hugging on their daddy. He will be the rock for all of us, a task I have no doubt he will excel at.
Yes, I’m well-aware that this may seem petty and trivial to some which is why I even hesitated to post it. What if it’s just hormones that have my emotions all wacky and oversensitive? Still, in this moment, it feels good to get it out and off my chest.
I’ve learned that ultimately what any pregnant woman wants is for others to be excited for her. Our bodies are changing, our hormones are raging, we are questioning what our lives are going to look like in a few months. The last thing we can handle is someone’s snarky opinion on the number of children we have, the sex of our children, how big or small our baby bump is or any other non-supportive comment.
To my surprise, there was a box on the front porch when I let Koda out this morning.
It was from a good friend and it warmed my heart more than she probably knows.
To me, this simple gesture said I’m so happy for you, congratulations, how wonderful!
…and there’s nothing more that any hormonal pregnant woman wants to hear.