Yesterday was a very challenging parenting day. I don’t mean that in the way of tantrums or power struggles, I mean it was a day where you feel the full weight of what it means to be entirely responsible for someone else’s well-being. And it was scary.
I don’t feel comfortable sharing all the details, but over the past couple of days, Hailey had a cluster of different symptoms that had her not feeling well- very odd for her. Several different factors came together and after seeing three different doctors, we were being sent to the hospital for a CT. I’ll cut it right there and say that we thankfully did not have to end up getting the scan, thank goodness, but for an intense few hours, everything else in my world fell away.
She is sleeping now with the doctors saying that they think everything is resolving. She went to bed being silly and trying to stall, all good signs to me. Still, yesterday’s experience sticks with me and reaffirms my outlook on life– if you and the people you love are healthy, nothing else matters.
Sure things are important- we all must discuss and manage our money, we all have busy lives and scheduling conflicts, we all get tired and stressed, but I got a peek (a minuscule one) into what life might be like with a sick child and my heart has never felt so heavy for the families that have that as their day to day reality.
Parenthood is full of so many ups and downs and experiences like yesterday make me stop and evaluate my priorities. It’s tough to balance how much time you spend on work and responsibilities versus time you just spend on fun. It’s challenging to know how much money to spend on present day needs/fun versus saving for the future. I get stuck between work your tail off now so you can play later and just relax and enjoy today. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have it figured out, or if just trying to perfect the balancing act is life itself.
All I know is that I am so grateful right now and no messy house, unattended to emails, dirty dishes, unfinished projects or early baby wake ups can shake that.
Erica {Erica@EricaDHouse.com} says
I can’t imagine how scary that must be! I’m glad to hear she is feeling better.
Brynn says
Sending prayers and well wishes to your family. Having a baby changes your life in so many beautiful and challenging ways because in the end, their hearts are ours too.
Karen says
This post really brought me back to when my son was small (2yrs old) and we were sent three hours from home to a childrens hospital. I stood in the hotel room that night waiting for the next day appointment just staring into the city crying and praying our son would be fine.
And then a year ago(almost to this date) we received the call every parent dreads….” your son has been in an accident meet us at this hospital.”
Our kids are always our kids no matter how old they get. We, as moms, never forget that we are the ones that are suppose to be able to make it all better. It never gets easier to be a mom, we just get stronger with age:)
I will keep Hailey in my prayers and hopefully she starts to feel better soon.
Ilana says
Oh dear- how scary truly nothing else matters! . I really hope she’s feeling much better soon!
Joanna @Makingmine says
Sending love to you and your sweet girl! I fully understand what you mean – it’s a HUGE responsibility to be in charge of another little human, and sometimes that weight is overwhelming. Hope she wakes up just as silly as she went to bed 😉
Parita @ myinnershakti says
I can’t imagine how much having a sick child and not knowing what is wrong can turn your entire world upside down. Glad H is ok though! Sending positive thoughts your way!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
So glad everything worked out in the end! I’m keeping your family and Hailey in my thoughts and in my heart! <3
Shannon says
Brittany this post is so timely for me. Not because of something I’m going through but something I’m watching a friend experience. And unfortunately that person is so “IN” the midst of an admittedly large, consuming problem that it’s become impossible to see that in the grand scheme of things, if we have our health and we have our family (both of these things this person DOES), then we have everything we need to get by. It’s sad for me to watch someone take so much for granted and it’s been truly eye opening for me. Again it’s not an exact parallel to what you’ve been through with your little girl, but wanted to share that this post just came at a good time as another reminder to not take things for granted and to realize what we have, when we have it. 🙂 Hugs to you guys. Hope better days are right around the corner.
Kathy says
Sorry to hear what you have been through yesterday and glad to hear Hailey was acting more normal by evening. Days like that can be a reality check and make you thankful for what you do have. Prayers to your little family and that you have a peaceful day today!
Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries says
Ugh, I can relate to you SO well, Mama! We had something somewhat similar with Hunter a couple months ago that proceeded to a bunch of testing with a concern of the “c word”, and I can’t tell you how scared I was as a mother. Like you said, nothing else in the world mattered than seeing and knowing my baby was healthy and ok. It did give me lots of perspective and again, like you said, gave me a glimpse into what some other parents have to go through when they have sick children. I can’t even imagine. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but I’m glad to hear Hailey is OK. Hugs!
Maggie says
I hope everyone is feeling better soon and your post is so true. My son had a febrile seizure last year and it really put things into perspective and I realized I was taking a lot for granted when it came to my kids’ health.
Sam @ Pursuit of Healthy Happiness says
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I know how scary family medical issues can be. I’m happy to hear that she’s doing better. When the people you love are healthy, nothing else matters. Thinking of you and your loved ones!
Kate says
Our day to day reality is life with a chronically and critically ill child…it has changed everything about our life, including our perspective on time with our children and our priorities. I think our friends, watching us go through this with our child and living in and out of the hospital, have also gained a different appreciation for the time they have with their children. Because we live with a sick child, for us it isn’t “if those you love are healthy, nothing else matters” – it is “the time you have with your children is precious – nothing else matters”.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Kate, Thank you so much for your comment and insight. You are obviously a courageous woman and wonderful mom and I won’t pretend to know the struggles you face. If you don’t mind, I do have a question. I don’t know your unique circumstances, but if you are in the hospital often, is there anything anyone can do to help? I have been looking into the list of items our local Children’s Hospital accepts as donations and would like to contribute. However, I’d like to give something that is really wanted or needed. Is there anything you have experienced that has helped, even if the small way of bringing some distraction or smiles to your child?
I so appreciate your attitude and will take your words to heart- time with our children is precious. It is so true.
Kate says
Brittany, what a wonderful question – thank you so much for asking. An idea that might be right up your alley (and maybe Hailey could come, or when she’s a touch older) is at the Ronald McDonald House at our hospital (we travel out of town for our specialist appointments and surgeries, often with long hospital stays) offers both volunteer meals and baking nights. You can go with a small group and use the kitchens there to bake goodies and/or meals for the residents. After a long day in the hospital, I return to the RMH with my older child and my husband after working on his computer for the day will stay the night in the hospital room (we are ships passing in the night) – having a home cooked meal and goodies to take with us the next day is so appreciated and helps cut down on expenses. Not sure if this type of program is offered close to you as well. There are usually donated toiletry kits and toys for both my children and these help a lot as well, and are something your girls could help pick out and put together for the families in your local children’s hospital. Small toys, colouring kits, “up to date” stuff (i.e., my children like Frozen or Paw Patrol related anything), cases of water, toothbrushes, gum, kleenex, disposable shower slippers….these are things we needed and appreciated. If you ever know a friend whose child is in the hospital, doing errands for them (getting mail, dry cleaning, cutting grass) is so helpful, as is doing things to make the sibling feel special. And saying “I’m bringing dinner to the hospital next week – is Monday or Tuesday better?” versus “What can I do to help?” 🙂
Thanks again for asking.
PS – when my daughter first got sick almost a year ago, I stopped reading a lot of the blogs I had read for years since they didn’t seem to speak to me anymore – but yours still does and I really enjoy reading your voice on issues of slowing down, appreciating parenting for the small moments, etc. You too are a wonderful mom. I am so glad Hailey is doing better, and thank you for sharing as you do on your blog.
Brittany Dixon says
I appreciate this feedback SO much. I love the cooking/homemade meal idea because of the personal touch but will also look into bringing the basics that could be helpful. Volunteering time is something I hope to do with the girls when they are older. It’s easy to get caught up in what we want or need and lose perspective on the big picture (I know I do) and being able to help others, in any small way, is humbling and eye opening. I’m so sorry your daughter is sick. I will keep her in my prayers tonight, as well as you and your whole family. Hoping there are answers and bright days ahead for you. Thanks so much for reading and for your comments. <3
Elizabeth Evans says
I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope she is on the mend. My heart breaks for sick kids and the families of sick kids. Children truly are miracles.
Whitney says
Thank you for writing about your struggle striking a balance between working now and playing later versus living in the moment. I struggle with this and am glad I’m not the only one. I’m glad to hear that Hailey is on the mend. I’ll keep her and your family in my thoughts.
Hope you have a beautiful Wednesday.
Tim Allen says
Scary. Maybe your husband should rethink his priorities. Seems he is gone an awful lot, working too much, missing out on the most critical times of your children’s lives. No one ever wishes they worked more when their kids are grown up and they missed it. Blink of an eye.
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Tim, Perhaps I do a poor job of it, but David is an incredibly involved dad. He does work hard an sometimes some crazy hours, and I won’t lie, it can be tough. But when he is here, he is as present as it gets. He was the one holding Hailey at 4 am in bed the other night when she didn’t feel well and when the girls were babies he was up in the night with me changing diapers and reswaddling. He takes them swimming and wrestles with them. I really couldn’t ask for a better husband or dad and will do a better job of giving him props in my posts. Thanks, I realize more and more each day how quickly this time passes with children! <3
Kate says
Wow. Exactly what she would need to read after this experience. We must be reading different blogs. The take home message I get is that this is a family with two committed and loving parents who are both providing in the best ways possible for their family. I don’t know them in real life but I admire the decisions they have made.
Tracy says
Oh gosh sounds scary. God bless!
Johanna says
I’m so glad everything is ok!! Life has been so rough for me recently with a divorce and illness of my own. But I look at my healthy baby girl and realize that it will all be ok. Yes life will stress me out and I will have bad days but as long as she is ok, that’s all that matters. The rest is just…noise 🙂 Thank you for reminding me of that while I am at work getting stressed over silly things.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh Johanna, I’m sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult season of life right now. The rest is just noise, but still hard days exist. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts! <3
Briana says
Ugh, my heart stopped reading this. I recently had to take an ambulance ride with my 2.4 YO to the hospital at her Dr’s Request. Scariest ride of my life. I can relate, and it’s a scary scary feeling. I wish all the best for Hailey, and a quick recovery as well. I pray this never happens to you again!
Brittany Dixon says
Oh my goodness, I can’t imagine an ambulance ride- so scary! I hope everything turned out to be ok??
John J. says
Such events quickly remind us of what is important in life. You and David are great parents and I’m relieved to hear Hailey is on the mend!
Hannah @ CleanEatingVeggieGirl says
I’m so sorry to hear this, Brittany! I hope sweet Hailey is feeling better and good as new here soon!
Lynn says
Big hug and prayers for you and your sweet family!
Tammi @Momma's Meals says
Beautifully said. We always need to be reminded to appreciate our health. Thank you for the reminder.
CAROL says
BLESS YOU !! I don’t have a calm bone in my body when it comes to children and illness or accidents. Perhaps that is why I don’t have children…not by choice. When I was about 10, my 1 yr old niece fell and hit her head on the edge of a door way. I saw the blood don’t her face, heard her screen (her parents were right there), I ran down the street wishing it was me. My heroes in life are the parents who can carry on after the loss or chronic illness of their child. Trust all will be well (pray daily) and you will have support in
life raising your little girls !
Laura @FitMamaLove says
How scary! Glad to hear everything is ok!
Melissa says
So glad to hear you are all home and on the road to health. Since the very first time my son had his first cold, I realized to never take a healthy child for granted.
Carolyn says
hugs! I do hope she is feeling much better now. You are absolutely right. As parents we are so privileged to have these reminders of what is most important. Our lives can seem so full, overflowing at the seams, at times, and it is these “scares” that remind us we are blessed with all the good things. X
Lauren says
Praying for your sweet Hailey and for you and David! Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Ashley says
oh Britt. My eyes are welling up with tears for you. I am so glad to hear that it all worked out – or so it seems. I can’t even imagine. You and David are wonderful, present parents – and your girls are lucky to have you both. I obviously have not been in the hospital for long stays with my girls – but I do volunteer at the Ronald McDonald House and can attest to what your reader Kate said. They parents and siblings (and sometimes grandparents) are so appreciative. They especially have a hard time getting food donations around holidays – big or small.
Kari says
So glad to hear your little lady is feeling better. There is really nothing worse in the world than a health scare …..especially when it comes to one of your babies. Hugs mama!
Lauren Brennan says
I’m really late in reading this, but I hope everyone is well now!
Danica @ It's Progression says
First and foremost, I’m so glad to hear that Hailey is okay and her little body is shaking off whatever was upsetting it.
Our baby is due in just 2 months, and lately I’ve been overwhelmed by trying to understand the whole concept of being solely responsible for this little baby’s life. It makes me so joyous and yet, at the same time, causes me to question whether I’m even capable of doing a good job. That said, I can’t get over what a miracle the whole experience is, and I think that if there’s one thing that makes a woman a great mother, it’s unconditionally loving her children and knowing that they’re a blessing.
Brittany Dixon says
I am two kids deep and still can’t get over what a miracle they are- I hope I never do get over it! You are going to be such an incredible mom and though everyday is roses and sunshine, I just know you are going to get so much joy from it. I am so excited for you and this journey you’re about to be on!