This post is brought to you by e.p.t.
I know sponsored posts aren’t everyone’s jam, but I really love the writing prompts the ones I accept give me. This story for example, is one I never shared on the blog before, but think it’s worth sharing that not every reaction to a pregnancy test looks as sweet and picture-perfect as commercials would have you believe…
In October 2010 David and I took an incredible trip. I had never been overseas, and we decided to change that with an epic trip to Munich for Oktoberfest, followed by exploring salt mines and multiple cafes in Salzburg. We had only been married for just over a year and loved having that time to explore together.
In fact, we were so badly bitten by the travel bug that we decided together on our arrival home that we’d hold off another year before considering kids. We both wanted kids, but figured it would be best for us to get in a little more travel before that time came. So, we settled into celebrating the holidays with family and researching travel destinations for our next trip.
We hosted my whole family for Christmas that year and it was a ball! Yet somehow after everyone returned home, I couldn’t get my act together. I just couldn’t share the feeling of lethargy that seemed to take over. I remember the moment I was at the store and a little light bulb, or perhaps mother’s intuition?, lit up and encouraged me to put a pregnancy test in my cart.
I was consumed the entire drive home with considering the possibilities and true to form, didn’t waste a second taking that test right into the bathroom with me. I mentally convinced myself that I wasn’t, I couldn’t be, so I figured I’d prove myself right then discard of the evidence before admitting the whole silly story to David.
Well goodness knows I didn’t have the will power to put the test down and walk away, so instead I stared at the small stick as it slowly revealed to me that I was, indeed, PREGNANT.
Oh my gosh.
The test that confirmed it all
I’ve never really considered myself to be in shock, but looking back, there is no other way to explain my behavior after finding out my results. First, I cursed myself for being alone at home with this giant secret now resting on my shoulders, then broke out in laughter. I started pacing the house, laughing, looking at the stick, then laughing again. Then true to pregnancy cliches, my emotions did a 180 as the weight of what that plus sign meant hit me like a ton of bricks. I was PREGNANT. And the questions in my head didn’t stop…
What was our life going to look like now? How long had I been pregnant? What have I been eating/drinking? Had I hurt him/her? Oh my gosh what is David going to say? I’m going to be a MOM? Is that nausea I feel? Oh my gosh, are we ready for this?
Then the tears came.
I sat, smack dab in the middle of our living room floor, clutching our sweet Koda dog and crying. Happy tears? Sad? Shock? I wasn’t even sure, but I decided I needed to get out of the house.
I felt like a crazy person as I drove to the grocery store to wander mindlessly. I kept thinking I needed to be creating a cute way to tell David. Should I go buy a onesie? Find a #1 dad mug? But instead, I just took laps around the pickle aisle.
That evening, I waited for David to get home from work. My thoughts bounced back and forth between pure joy and laughter to fear and uncertainty. When I heard the garage door go up, the flood gates opened and tears started pouring down my face.
David walked in to where I was sitting in the kitchen and no word but utter shock could describe the look on his face when he saw me. Sputtering through tears I managed to say, congratulations, you’re going to be a daddy.
Poor guy. He had to be so confused. My words and my demeanor didn’t seem to match and to this day he tells me that he thought someone had died when he first saw me, red-faced with tear stains on my cheeks.
Through his surprise, I remember him saying Really? several times before giving me a big hug and telling ME “congratulations!”. I laughed as I gently reminded him it was our doing. It was one of the funniest moments of my life in hind site and it broke the tension my tears had created.
After I was no longer alone and our shock started to subside, we sat on the kitchen counter tops talking about what all this meant. Then the smiles came as we knew our lives were about to change in a way we couldn’t even comprehend.
I love our story. I hesitated to share it at first because nothing about it is like I feel it should have been. I never imagined tears and fear being part of my initial reaction to finding out I was pregnant, but I know now it was all because I couldn’t picture just how sweet this surprise blessing was going to be for our lives. I don’t know if we ever would have felt completely ready for kids, so I’m forever grateful for the power of surprises for turning us into a family.
I’d love to hear your story!
How did you find out your were pregnant and what was your initial reaction?
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of e.p.t. The opinions and text are all mine. Read more moment of truth stories on e.p.t.’s facebook page and share yours using the hashtag #momentoftruth.