How Long Does it Take for Doubt to Creep In? 2 Days.

On my blog, I’m happy-go-lucky.  Things are usually upbeat and cheery.  Why? Because that’s how I am in real life. I know, you thought I was going to say something about ‘staying real’, but sorry to be annoying- happy ‘me’ is the real me!

However…

2 day overdue ‘me’ isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.

And it’s not because I’m so dreadfully uncomfortable that I just can’t stand it.  Physically I’m feeling just fine (all things considered).

Mentally, though, my confidence is wavering.

First, let’s take a look at the current stats.

• Due date: September 6 (2 days overdue at this point)
• Weight Gained: 29.5 pounds (yup, I lost a little- weird)
• Last Doc Appt Update: 50% effaced and not dilated (I regressed? Apparently.) *Next doc appt tomorrow!
• Blood Pressure: 100/60 (checked yesterday)
• Biggest Physical Complaints: My belly feels heavy when I roll over at night. Yeah, that’s about as bad as it gets.
• Baby Movement: Plenty. Wiggle, roll, poke, kick!
• Signs of Labor: Nada. Zilch. I could still skip around the neighborhood.

I’m so anxious.  I even paid someone to hurt me yesterday to try and induce labor.  I’m talking about reflexology.  I figured ‘what the heck?!”’

FYI- reflexology is no foot massage- owwwwwwwwwwww!

He said I’d be in labor within 24 hours.  He has 7 hours left before I’m asking for a refund.

The worst part is the doubt I’m starting to feel.  I woke up a few times last night and the worries started sneaking in…

• What if my body doesn’t know how to get this baby out?
• What if I have to be induced? I know the doc will discuss it tomorrow.
• What if I can’t handle pitocin?
• What if something is wrong with the baby and that’s why s/he can’t get out?
• What if I miss the UGA/South Carolina game? (ok, I’m KIND OF kidding about that one)

Logically I know I’m not the only one who has ever been overdue, but oh, the emotions I am feeling are unreal.  I’m desperate to meet our sweet baby.

But today I woke up, like any other day, feeling well rested (note: a feeling I’m trying to enjoy while I can).

I checked under the blanket- nope, no baby slipped out unnoticed during the night.

I made myself breakfast (plain Greek yogurt, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, honey and raw oats- surprisingly tasty, despite Hubbs giving me the stink eye when he asked what it was).

Today I’m going to yoga.  My focus for the practice is just to breathe and empty my mind… to find a peaceful place.

Afterwards, I’m going to lunch with two friends that are due in the next week. We’re going to eat eggplant parmesan at a restaurant known for the dish putting women into labor.  It should be quite a sight to see!

So… there you have it.

Nothing health related.

No question at the end of the post.

Just my thoughts.

Wish me luck… not only for labor, but for these long hours or days to pass quickly.

Thanks, friends!

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